Why parents shouldn't use the Internet

sarah0725 · November 2009

Because it's not fair when your mom keeps telling you all about what your dad's younger galpal/Internet friend/potential emotional mistress is doing on several Facebook accounts and blogs. It's just too much drama to keep up with it all!I guess it's a LiveJournal kind of evening.

bel138 · November 2009

Oh man, I'm sorry. That sucks that she feels the need to drag you into this. Doesn't she have any girlfriends her age?

thesuninherhead · November 2009

My mum has friended some of my friends on facebook, and is always commenting. It's so bizarre to see my friends 'liking' her statuses, or her taking replying very quickly to some of my friend's status updates (particularly a couple of my friends from the UK, who mum met at our wedding and- owing to her love of the UK- loved them.

sucrets4 · November 2009

MIL just told DH that she didn't like facebook. SIL is dating a guy and he wrote something cryptic on his status. Someone asked if he was going to propose and said something like "nothing that crazy". Yeah, not good to write when your gf's mom reads it.

sarah0725 · November 2009

Oh, I don't mind the general interactions on Facebook. I'm friends with both my parents, my weird uncle, and a bunch of my cousins, and it's kinda fun to see what they have to say.What bothers me is when my mom wants me to check out what the other woman wrote on my dad's wall, or what song she dedicated to him on her blog. Not cool. And I don't know why all this stuff has to be out in the open.Sadly, she doesn't have any girlfriends... although I am still strongly advocating marriage counseling.

Night_Sprite · November 2009

Is your dad the quasi-affair on second life dad?

sarah0725 · November 2009

Yup, he sure is.

Night_Sprite · November 2009

That makes it extra bad. Does your dad know she is aware of him? I'd strangle them both I think.

sarah0725 · November 2009

Yeah, he definitely knows. Apparently they have been "going on walks" in the evening to "talk about it." And my dad insists there is nothing going on, and yet he and this woman had to agree that they would only meet on SL with same-gendered characters, because if they met with characters of the opposite gender then something might happen. And now she is dedicating Coldplay songs to him on her blog. And he is being really defensive about it all, according to my mom.

Night_Sprite · November 2009

I think it is time for counseling or your mom to tell this home wrecker to back off. I'm sorry, Sarah.

sarah0725 · November 2009

Maybe my mom should just write "HOAR!!!!" all over her Facebook wall. Or go up to her in Second Life and kick her or something. Seems rather apropos for this case.Anyway, I think I need to try to go to bed. Thanks for letting me vent, guys!

louisvillebride21 · November 2009

I've never played the game or even heard of it, but why does it matter if they are same gender? And didnt you say that your dad was playing a female? It's a game, I don't see how something could 'happen'. And I don't see how being the same gender keeps things from happening?

Night_Sprite · November 2009

It's like the sims online-ish. Essentially they could have cybersex.

louisvillebride21 · November 2009

I was thinking the Sims-but I've never played online. So they get to 'chat' while their characters go do whatever?

sarah0725 · November 2009

It's not a game exactly. It's more like what would happen if AIM was in a virtual world and you had characters to move around while you talk about stuff. So it's definitely a place where one can stray in marriage, especially since everyone is so much hotter than in real life. And there are ways to (graphically) have sex that are rather grody. And my dad has both male and female characters, because he is a weirdo. So does the girl. And I haven't tried to talk to him about the logic of the opposite gender statement, because I pretty much haven't talked to him at all since I found out about all this.

louisvillebride21 · November 2009

I just can't wrap my head around it. I'm so sorry. I mean, in my head, ITS A GAME! How are you going to have 'sex' through a game?? I mean, I understand everyones thought that he's straying, I'm not understanding his thoughts to stray in a freaking game. Sheesh.

sarah0725 · November 2009

Because it's not a game. If it were a game, it would be the worst game ever, because it has no point except running around, buying clothes, and meeting people. It's more like a giant chatroom with characters to work out all the stuff you want to do. And my dad met this woman in this giant chatroom and has been spending 1-2 hours every night chatting with her, basically spending more time with her than my mom. Does that make more sense?

louisvillebride21 · November 2009

I do understand it and I've followed your story from earlier posts. I'm so so sorry your family is going through this. What I'm not understanding is why the chat room needs avatars to do things for them? I'm reading about it now, but it's not really computing for me.

louisvillebride21 · November 2009

To say it better, I understand the concept of the game/program/whatever, I don't understand the desire to participate. I don't see why a chat room needs all the extra fluff and crap.

sarah0725 · November 2009

I dunno. I mean, there's a lot more to it than just cheating on your wife. People are using it to build all sorts of stuff, like lost architecture, and as a teaching tool, and as lots of other things. A couple of weeks ago I actually gave a talk in a cafe on SL, and I had a PowerPoint and my character wore a little black suit like people wear to academic conferences. It was kinda fun.You really can get sucked into it and feel like it's a world of its own, and I think that can be dangerous. It certainly hasn't done my dad much good.I'm off to bed. Night ladies!

Night_Sprite · November 2009

Goodnight, Sarah!

thesuninherhead · November 2009

I have no clue about second life, other than that there is a large child pornography trade on second life, with whole virtual 'areas' where child porn is traded, and there are some special investigation cops in our city who deal with child grooming online, who spend a lot of time in second life finding these people and then identifying them to bust them. How did your dad get into playing this to begin with? Seems like an odd thing to do! In any case, clearly if he is choosing this woman over your mother, there is a problem, and I really hope that your parents do consider relationship counselling for this and get through it together.

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