Would you go?

calle28 · November 2009

My SILs are having a joint baby shower on Saturday. It's co-ed, so my husband and I were planning on going together. He can't go now because he has work. I'm not sure if I still want to go. His family is very friendly, loud, and outgoing. I am the opposite of that, very quiet and reserved. They invited a ton of people, probably about 30-40ish. We've been married for 3 months and I've never been to a family event without him. My husband said it's totally up to me. He said we can go by when he gets home from work, but I don't think he'll feel like it. Soo.. should I suck it up and go for a little bit or can I stay home and relax? What would you do?

calle28 · November 2009

I posted this on The Nest and got a few replies, but wanted more. Thanks!

NicoleSahara · November 2009

I would probably stop by. It's good to do things outside of your comfort zone from time to time, and they are your family now, too.

louisvillebride21 · November 2009

As long as you are friendly with them, I would go. They are family, and you don't have to have your husband with you for every family event.

J&K10910 · November 2009

I remember your name. But for some reason I feel like it's not for a good reason. Did you DD something once? If not, ignore me, I'm crazy, and accept my apologies.I wouldn't go. If H feels up to it you guys can swing by after work. I'd send a gift and see if you can celebrate with SILs at another point when it wouldn't as awkward. I'd feel awkward and uncomfortable and I'd be miserable.

lyndausvi · November 2009

I would go. My SILs drove 3.5 hours one way for my bridal shower, the least I can do it go to theirs. But I'm pretty social. Oh and I would hate for them to think I do not like them by not going.

AdeleDazeem · November 2009

I'd go. This is part of your family now and you shouldn't need your husband to hang out with them anymore. Go make friends!

missy68 · November 2009

I'd go - they'll appreciate you attending.

ring_pop · November 2009

My first inclination was to say, they're family now, of course I'd go.Then I realized that if I was in your shoes and invited to a family event with my ILs and H couldn't go, I probably wouldn't go either.So... my only advice is to make sure you have a good alibi for when people ask you why they didn't see you there. Make alternate plans

Kati0105 · November 2009

I would definitely go. These babies are going to be your nieces or nephews. This is a huge event for your new family, so it's worth putting aside your hesitations.

DanielleH910 · November 2009

I would say yes. Is there anyone in his family that you are closer to? A cousin or someone that you'll be abl to spend the time with?

mocha beans · November 2009

I would go. They'll probably be impressed. I know the first few times I spent time with his family or friends without him, it really impressed them and I felt like I got to know them better. Some of the best times I've spent with them.

eastunder1 · November 2009

I would go. I probably wouldn't WANT to go, but I still would. Sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to in the name of family, or his family as the case may be. Thats all there is to it.

calle28 · November 2009

I remember your name. But for some reason I feel like it's not for a good reason. Did you DD something once? If not, ignore me, I'm crazy, and accept my apologies.Wasn't me, apology accepted!

mandapanda78 · November 2009

I'm definitely in the school of thought that this is your family now- you should go. You don't have to stick the whole thing out (as long as you make up a good excuse!) you can leave early if you're uncomfortable.

scoetto · November 2009

Yup. Go. You don't need H as a crutch.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · November 2009

Yup, I'd go. They're your family too now, and the only way you'll start feeling comfortable around them is when you spend more time on them. Being away from your H may help you come out of your shell a little and get to know some of them better.The first time I met a bunch of H's family was at a funeral for his aunt, who committed suicide. H couldn't get out of a training at work, so I went with his parents, B and SIL, S and BIL. That's the definition of awkward.

calle28 · November 2009

Is there anyone in his family that you are closer to? A cousin or someone that you'll be abl to spend the time with? There isn't. But I think I will suck it up and go.

Kati0105 · November 2009

Also, bridal showers tend to be pretty structured events (food is served, gifts are opened, games are played) so it will likely be less awkward than a typical family gathering.

Kati0105 · November 2009

Sorry, I meant to say baby showers, not bridal.

[Deleted User] · November 2009

I would go. I'd be a little nervous, but I'd still go. It's a great way to get to know everyone.

NicoleSahara · November 2009

Good for you

Most of the time in situations like this you end up enjoying it more than you thought you would. I bet you'll be happy you went.

KitteeBride2Be · November 2009

I would go. You really don't have a good reason not to.

squirrly · November 2009

I vote go. You can go late, so as to limit your time there, or you can have a reason that you need to leave early, but go at least for a while.

ScarletGem · November 2009

In this situation, I'd feel like I should go, but would probably come up with some veiled excuse to not make it. If you can bring yourself to do it, it would be nice if you can at least stop in.

tenofcups4me · November 2009

I'd go. I went to a Christmas party from DH's extended family a few years ago even though he had to work that day. And just this summer I stayed after a funeral for the luncheon even though DH had to leave. I think those are the kinds of things that go a long way towards his family liking me as much as they do :-)

[Deleted User] · November 2009

nope. i don't do baby showers. and what man would want to go to one of those things?

tbh33 · November 2009

I would go, but only to get some cake. I'm a sucker for cake, and it'll definitely only help your relationship with his family.

ExpatPumpkin · November 2009

Go. You're now part of a team and it's your job to put in face time when your husband can't make it. This is bound to happen again at some time in the future, so you have to learn how to deal without your husband there. You don't have to stay for the whole thing - but you should go... You'll probably end of having fun

If you don't go, be prepared for them to be hurt and offended... It's TWO of you SILs' showers in one - kind of a big deal. Go.

Would you go?

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