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FSIL Vent(LONG)

first off let me start by saying facebook is the devil second if i offend anyone by what I am about to say please know that it is not directed towards you...now onto my vent I HATE MY FSIL!!!!!! I have hated her for almost 8 years now and now I am marrying her brother. I knew her before I knew her brother, but thats besides the point... About 6 months ago we have a knock down drag out because she was upset that we didnt tell her FIRST that we were engaged, people who were there when it happened posted things on facebook before we got to tell everyone and of course she lives and breathes facebook( you could say shes a stalker) and she saw aall the postings... We after that we both said we wanted to start fresh, erase the past and be mroe involved in each others lives. At first it was going fine, barely talked and she pretty much stayed mute about things. Well then it came down to when we picked our wedding parties and she wasnt in it, I don't want her in my bridal party and Fi doesnt want her on his side either. Welll low and behold my FSIL and FMIL flipped out...saying its the right thing to do blah blah blah, FSIL threatened to not come to the wedding(fine by me and FI was even okay with it) but i gave in because i knew in the end it would be more of problem if she want in it then to just have her in it. So she is a bridesmaid in my wedding, UGH! Well from then on(early september) things have been fine and they should be because she got her way, we had even planned a trip down to MS to see her, but it got canceled because of new jobs and not being able to get time off... Lately things have gone back to the way they were, she complains about everything and makes it all about her. Let me give you some examples... 1. I am having my boobs done next week and a friend posted on my facebook page about it, FSIL--flipped out saying yall didnt have any money to come visit me but you have money to get boobs, thats pretty expensive. 2. I test drove a new car the other day and of course I put a picture up of me in the car on facebook and she flipped out again--saying "Yall sure are spending alot of money lately, i need to give you guys my christmas list of all the expensive things so you can buy them" 3. I asked her for her opinion about a wedding gift for FI. I want to buy him a jeep(that he can rebuild, and play with) SHE FLIPPED!! Gosh, yall just have plenty of money down you, yall should be saving for a house and kids, and other expenses not going out and getting new cars, boobs, etc." 4. Bridesmaids dress-FSIL is very very heavy...all the rest of my bridesmaids are skinny, when I pick out a dress and send her a link she comes back with some off the wall answer or excuse, i dont like the colors or the cut isnt right, jesus--IS THIS MY WEDDING OR HERS!! It really bothers me that it's all about money to her, probably because she doesnt have any(sorry that was mean but i had to). i will admit I am not poor and am pretty well off and my FI is marrying into money, but I have never and will never flaunt it around that I have money. if you just looked at me or knew me you wouldnt think I had any. I just dont undertsand I have tried and tried with FSIL on all different accounts and she makes it all about her or money and what not. i just dont think i can deal with this for the rest of my life, its not healthy. And no i am not changing my life(ie what i post on facebook) for one person. help me out here ladies!!

Re: FSIL Vent(LONG)

  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I completely agree with you. it is your wedding. do whatever you want! I would not ask for her input on anything anymore. You tell her what the bridesmaids dress are, and if she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to be a bridesmaid. That way you get what you want and she has to live with it. If she bitchs about it, too bad. You are marrying the love of your life and planning your big day. That is what is most important.
  • ktyd8ktyd8 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    do we have the same FSIL???i know exactly how you feel! mine wanted to renew her vows after we did ours because the preacher would already be there and they wouldn't have to pay for him! (they've only been married 2 years and she didn't get to have the wedding she wanted). i also understand exactly what you mean about the money thing. my family isn't rich by any means but we've never struggled, FI's family has his whole life and both her and his mom think that i think i'm too good for them.i'm sorry you're going through this. i know exactly how you feel: basically like you just want to punch her and tell her off but want to keep the peace!
    ~Kaitlyn~
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  • edited December 2011
    Well you can always vent on here, thats what we are for :) Sounds like a sticky tough situation that I don't have much advice for. Maybe you could block some of the photos you post of fb, so she doesn't see all of it? Sounds like shes a little jealous of what you have. Which doesn't give her any excuses for acting rude...good luck with dealing with it. If she knew that her figure wasn't going to work for most of those bm dresses, then why did she throw a fit to be in one? I mean you could still honor her in other ways during the wedding (ie have her read something, sing, give her a corsage and list her as the sister in the program...heck i dunno)!!
  • edited December 2011
    Guess I was typing previous post as others were too, but I completely agree with them both.
  • apfoster05apfoster05 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ktyd8--i'm pretty sure we dont unless we are marrying the same man!! ;) sundrop--we offered for her to read or be the program attendent, and of course she flipped!!!
  • edited December 2011
    Oh gosh I know about crazy FSILs.  Lets see,  when we got engaged FSIL sent FI an email saying how disappointed in him she was, that she was mad that even though she told him not to propose he did, and how he must be really ashamed since he did not tell his mom that we were engaged in person (he didn't because his mom always plays the guilt card when she doesn't get her way).  And she can't believe FI went behind her back and proposed (apparently she is in charge of him?)When we set a date, for this year (the same year in which this 30-year-old sister is getting married) he gets another email saying that the only thing that she can think of to explain rushing to get married (after being together for 6 years) is that I have given him an ultimatum and I am forcing him to marry me.  Also, mentioning that I am obviously a horrible person for tricking him into marrying me and that I will be forcing him to get a full time job while he finishes his degree (which I'm not) even though I never had a job while in school (which I did, 3 in fact).  And that everyone in the family hates me anyway.When we had the nerve to send our STDs at the same time as her invites (which was an accident, she sent hers out less than 1 month before the wedding, we thought they had gone out weeks before and FIs was sent to his mom's house), which I don't see why that was a big deal anyway, she sent him another email (she apparently doesn't know how to use the phone) saying that I'm lucky she didn't have my email address.  And that I was being a blatant b*tch and purposely trying to steal her spotlight.  Everyone in the family hates me and, I quote "you'll get your spotlight soon enough at the wedding where everyone will be hanging their heads in shame just waiting for the divorce announcement."In response to FI getting mad at her and getting offended her apologies to FI were: "I'm sorry if what I said upset you,"  and "I'm sorry for how things were said."  Since then, she is pretending that none of it ever happened and I never got an apology.So I know all about crazy FSILs.  I just ignore her, and most of the family anyway since they all think its ok to talk horribly about people, and they defend the FSILs actions ("she's under a lot of stress planning a wedding", uh hello I'm doing my master's degree AND planning a wedding yet I'm not going psycho on people).  She's just slowly pushing FI away acting like that.
  • edited December 2011
    i don't even know the broad and she gave me a headache hearing all that. i don't know what to say. i'd just let the fi deal with it. otherwise it will not only be you against her but you against her and the fmil. let those who share the common dna sort it out.
  • CJ4578CJ4578 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I complain about my FMIL pretty much daily (to be fair, she pretty much daily does something batty) but at least she is a nice person in her way. I don't know how I would deal with what you (or the PP) have to deal with- other than agree with Andrea and just ignore them and let FI deal with it. How can people be so horrible? I just don't understand.I will say this, I have some serious reservations about one of FI's brothers' girlfriends. They are nowhere near marriage though, fortunately. But you know what, I am always nice to her and would never treat her the way you all have been treated. She might not be what FI and I would want for FBIL, but she's still a PERSON. Good gracious.Apfoster, I would definitely put your FSIL on a limited facebook profile. I absolutely HATE it when people comment on things you buy, insinuating that if you have money to spend on yourself you should spend it on them. Anyway, don't let her bring you down- she's clearly unabalanced, jealous, and as my wonderful friend N would say "has no brought-up-sy."
    -- C
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  • a.w.johnsona.w.johnson member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would love to throw in my two cents worth about mine...but I am afraid I am marrying into FB/knot stalkers too! Yes, I swear they stalk me on here because FSIL has a knot account and FMIL has her password from when they were working on her wedding.... So that is why I am not too into posting a lot. Trust us...you are not alone!
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