Open letters

BentleyBaby · November 2009

Dear world, please stop being annoying, asking stupid questions, making me repeat myself 5 times, not listening to simple directions and generally getting on my nerves. My patience is thin & you're a big fat elephant... proceed with caution...

BentleyBaby · November 2009

Dear sucky economy,I've said it before but I'll say it again. We sympathize with your issues and we support you. But get off your @ss and get better. We're all tired of applying for jobs & being told we're overqualified. Or not finding jobs period.Affectionately yours (for now), Leah

AlexiaANDRobert · November 2009

Dear Boss (who is normally super cool and awesome), Please do not ask me to do something then stand over me while I do it while trying to have me take 15 extra steps when I've perfected the short cuts and it confuses you. It's REALLY annoying and takes way longer than necessary. Thank you.

mruiz0128 · November 2009

Dear Sucky Economy, Please make sure you read Leah's letter twice and after that read it once more for good measure. Pay very very close attention to what she says!

LoLoWedsM · November 2009

Dear Computer Fan, could you please stop making so much fing noise!Dear Tile Floors, Just thinking about cleaning you when I get home really makes me want to work late :(Dear CW, When you only come into work at 3pm and you are going to leave at 5pm do you really need to take time out for lunch. We all know you wern't doing anything constructive with your day before you got here!

AlexiaANDRobert · November 2009

Dear Mia and Lola - Please don't make me dread coming home to you. you're supposed to be a joy and happy part of my life. Right now, you're not. Mia, don't wake up until I come wake you up, okay? That's the rule - try to follow it. Lola, you've never been an obnoxious barker. Don't start now. Just because Mia does it DOES NOT make it okay. Thank you, Your VERY irritated mommy

BentleyBaby · November 2009

Dear CFL knotties, I love all the new siggies.

Please continue. I may have to update my own now.

SarahSmile23 · November 2009

alexia, worst case scenario, bark collars do work!

AlexiaANDRobert · November 2009

The cintronella kind or the shock kind? I actually forgot about both of those options. I sat with a spray bottle for 10 hours one day and sprayed Mia every time she barked. Guess what? She liked the effffing water!!!!!! If I lived in a house I'd leave them locked up until they shut up - that's how we trained our dogs. Kinda like don't pick the baby up evey time it cries... but in the condo, I'm sure I'll have noise complaints. The douchey old guy downstairs (but not below me) saw me walking the dogs the day after I got back from the honeymoon and asked me where I lived. When I told him, he said "oh, YOU'RE the one with the barkers." I said, "sorry sir, I just moved the dogs in this morning." But that really pissed me off.

SarahSmile23 · November 2009

the shock kind. my dad stepmom had to get one for their dog one time, and it worked. when i worked in property management, there were several times i had to recommend them to residents because neighbors were upset about the barking!

BananaMustang · November 2009

I use a shock collar on my lab...works like a charm! She always barked when we put her in her crate before we left....now we put that on her and NO MORE BARKING!!!

BentleyBaby · November 2009

I used the citronella kind on Ferrari for a bit & it worked. I think if we had a longer time frame to test it, it would have been successful. but my apt complex was so anal & my neighbor was such a douuuuchie that I had no chance to test it very well.

SarahSmile23 · November 2009

i have to admit, i'm a douche neighbor, too, when i have to listening to someone else's dog bark.

the worst is when they walk them around without a leash. i don't want your dog to come up to me and jump on my work clothes. sorry.

SarahSmile23 · November 2009

no no no, alexia. i'm talking about people like my former neighbor with 2 boxers and who i don't even think OWNED leashes. i never once saw them with leashes on.

meghanmcadams · November 2009

Alexia we used a bark collar on our lab mix and it worked great. In fact my FSIL has it for their dog. The funniest part is that Loky doesn't wear it now but sometimes he gives the whining wimpy bark because he isnt sure!Can I complain for a second though that I started nannying for a family who apparently refuses to admit their son is autistic!!

BentleyBaby · November 2009

Grice- you're not a douche neighbor. Mine was retired and dumb. My dog never ONCE barked while I was home. She cried for 5-10 mins when I left for work on weekdays at 8am. He complained so much that my complex said if they had one more complaint I had 24 hrs to vacate.Complaining about legitimate problems = not douche.Complaining because you're an old fart who is retired and has nothing better to do = douche.

BentleyBaby · November 2009

Dear dumb@ss who keeps calling our office,411 does NOT have 7 digits in the number. Our dealership is NOT directory assistance. Did I ask for your city & state? No. I answered, "Bentley Orlando, Ultimate Motor Works" I do not have random phone numbers to give you. And I still won't have them if you call back again. For the 3rd time.

sunflowr0803 · November 2009

Dear CWs, Please do your job so I can do my job and try to be positive. You've sucked it all out of me. Dear flu, Please go away, I'm tired of feeling exhausted all day.

jazzycazy · November 2009

Dear Poor Old Lady in the flat opposite's ex husband,Coming into our block of flats and punching your ex wife and scaring the bejesus out of me at 8.30AM is NOT COOL and I hope you get put in jail for a loooong time for doing so. I'm not kidding, this happened this morning and it made me feel sick to my stomach. The police came, I gave a statement and went to work a lot later than I should have. Was a WEIRD way to start the day! To be clear, I live in a quiet block of flats in a very sleepy town, this was totally out of the ordinary for round here!xjcx

vedika · November 2009

Dear FI,I love you. Today, you're pushing my buttons. If you're hungry, get up and make something! Don't wait for me to finish doing what I'm doing to then report to the kitchen. Lovingly,Your soon to be wife not maid.

pinkpanther_truck · November 2009

Dearest Feet,Please stop cramping every time I jump rope. I have a wedding to prepare and do not have time to baby you right now. If this is because you want a pedicure... suck it up! We're in a recession and that goes for you, too, tooties. Get it together!! Look at it this way--the lighter I am, the less stress you endure when I don my 4" pumps. Capish?

steverani · November 2009

These letters have been very entertaining!!! Thanks girls!Dear Remington and Colter,I love you pups dearly but why oh why do you have to shed like you do?! I vacuum and mop and what do you turn around and do??? Shake and shake and scratch!!! I watch helplessly as the hair flies off your bodies and spreads itself on the floor...I would gasp but I fear that I will suck in the doggy hairs and get a hairball in my throat! If you weren't so darn cute, you would be outside dogs for sure! But I love you and you are worth it! Love, mommy

aondera · November 2009

I like the letters today girls! They rock! So, here I go... Dear CFL married knotties- You all suck with your super cute wedding pic siggys. Makes me want to be married RIGHT NOW so I can post super cute wedding siggy pics :-( aaand- (how 'bout a real one) Dear Sister- You treat our dad like garbage. You have a new baby. VISIT HIM! As a matter of fact, why don't you just effing call him to tell him you just had a baby?! Don't leave it to me. Who knows HOW MANY hours you were in labor. I am sure during that time you could have had SOMEONE in the room with you call your FATHER to tell him that he was about to be a grandpa again. Point is, you suck, and I wish I had the guts to tell you that. Thanks. Your very angry and hurt sister.

AlexiaANDRobert · November 2009

Rani - Do you brush your pets often? I find this helps a lot!!!GL!

steverani · November 2009

Alexia- not as often as I should...I use one of those rake things every once in awhile...they are German Shep. so I think it is inevitable that they will shed...but you are right I should brush them at least weekly!

AlexiaANDRobert · November 2009

Truthfully, if you do it every other day, it will help A LOT. They WILL still shed, but it wont be those giant tumble weeds of fur since you're brushing out that excess loose fur. GL!

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