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Head Table?

bandjtrumppbandjtrumpp
in California-Northern
My sister(MOH) requested that I don't have a head table with just the bridal party. She is recently divorced & has a new boyfriend. Her point is that she doesn't want her bf to feel left out. She said is rude to have a head table and not let our bridal party sit with their dates. I am a little torn & not sure what to do now. Originally we planned on having a head table. Every wedding we have been to in our area has one. Any suggestions?
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Re: Head Table?

  • jennbuen16jennbuen16 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's your wedding. So I think it is rude for someone else to tell you that you are rude for doing something you want for YOUR wedding. I think you should do what you want, not what she wants. My sister (MOH) complained about wanting to walk into the reception (to be announced) with her husband who was a groomsmen but not the Best Man, as is tradition. I had to say no because that wasn't what I wanted. Thankfully, she didn't push too much. With that said, I wanted a sweetheart table for 2 reasons: those who were in the bridal party could sit with whomever they wanted (some were married, and some of the single girls wanted to party together) AND it allowed DH and I to have some private time. It worked out awesome - people always say that they can't eat or take a moment to breathe at their reception. But our sweetheart table was a great place for us to sit together, take a deep breath and take it all in! People came up to us, but we were still able to have some private moments and enjoy our meal & cake! We made sure to mingle so people wouldn't have to walk over to our table and it could be our little "time out" space, lol. HTH!
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  • jackelbridejackelbride member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Jenn! Don't let her tell you what you want.However, we did have a sweetheart table to be courteous to our bridal party. Most of them had dates that were not in the BP so we had them sit with their families or friends. It was still a great time and I got a few minutes of alone time with my new hubby. However, we were only at our table for the toasts and a few bites off dinner. Then we didn't even sit down until the party ended.
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  • apple_greenapple_green member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm also planning to do a sweetheart table, but I think it was pushy of her to request that. You should do what you want. However, be prepared for your sister and her boyfriend to (a) not have fun, or (b) hang out at his table a lot of the night.
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  • caligirl9caligirl9
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we are doing a modified head table. We are going to have our table with our best man and MOH and their dates only. Then one table to the left with the bridesmaids and dates and then one to the right with groomsmen and dates. The way our venue was and our size of our party it would look funky to have a huge long table. My cousin had a sweatheart table and she loved it. Plus it allowed all the bridal party to sit with dates since everyone had a date who wasn't in the party.
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  • anhngoanhngo
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with all above posts. I wanted my bridal party to feel like they weren't expected to be stuck at my side the entire night, especially after spending the entire morning/afternoon for pictures, getting ready, etc.
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  • cromero49cromero49
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're having a sweetheart table because I wanted my bridal party to be able to sit with their significant others. That was a personal choice though and I don't think head tables are bad. I think it was really rude of your friend to tell you to do a sweetheart table! I think everyone can survive a dinner w/out their significant other.
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  • StefandToddStefandTodd
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's not your sister's decision what you do, for starters.  It's 100% up to you. However, for me personally, I hate head table's that separate BP members from S/O's.  I wasn't going to do it b/c I hate when people have done it to me in the past.  Our venue really sort of dictated that a head table was necessary (versus a sweetheart table...no sweetheart table on a STAGE for us!!) so we had our BP and their S/O's up there.  In our minds, anyone significant to our closest friends and family is significant to us.  I let them all know ahead of time so they could let me know if they were uncomfortable, and so the guys would wear ties and all.  It was one of my favorite decisions I made at my own wedding.  We lucked out that none of our single GM brought lame dates or anything either...so really the S/O's that were up there were a part of our lives by association (i.e. the S/O's are either married, or probably will be soon).That said, again...it is your decision and I would NEVER ask someone to do this for me.  It should be your call.
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  • future mrs.rivafuture mrs.riva
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we're didnt want a sweetheart table and also didn't want a long head table, so we've opted for a large round so that our bridal party and their significant others can sit with us. but we only have 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen, so it works out for us.
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  • loanbphamloanbpham
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're also having a sweetheart table because I don't want to split people up from their dates.Our groomsman, which is FI's uncle did ask not to walk down the aisle with his niece, my FSIL, because he thought that was weird. Did I listen and give into his request.........Nope. He's getting married in Oct 2010, and he and his bride could do whatever they please. This is not his wedding to decide.
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  • mjlkhkmjlkhk member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Similiar issue with us........MOH has a bf who is not in the wedding......our solution.........we are having him sit at the head table............. :-) She never asked, we told her it was fine and we wanted them comfy......... :-)
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  • jackelbridejackelbride member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Another note - weddings are so special and emotional. I really feel bonded with my husband at others weddings. It's not fun to be separated from him during such an emotional time, especially if I'm close enough with the couple to be in the bridal party! Now if it was a work seminar, then I wouldn't mind saying "What?!? you can't go an evening without them?" but it's not.
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  • kaynix21kaynix21 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You could do a sweetheart table.Or you could do the wedding party with dates...but if not all of them have dates, it might be wierd.I think your sister should just suck it up, personally.If you're doing a seating chart, you can just put your sisters bf with other WP s/o's...then they can be uncomfortable together.
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