Another FSIL rant

CurlyQ284 · November 2009

Here's the background: http://talk.theknot.com/boards/main_frame.aspxpage=ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=9 The RD is tonight and I feel sick. He was literally told he was not allowed to go out last night. DH and I hung out with my brother's buddies, they all hate her. My parents hate her. Actually, kinda funny, my grandparents are leaving my mom a large sum of money, she was going to will it to us. Now she's making it contingent on a post-nup cause FSIL is so awful. It really sucks that he's going through with this. I feel like puking.

danieliza1127 · November 2009

Does your brother know that everyone feels this way? Has anyone ever expressed their concerns about her to him? Why doesn't he see what a douchebag she is?

CurlyQ284 · November 2009

Ah crap I'm a knot idiot and I have no idea how to make the link work.

laurenclaire1386 · November 2009

The link was bad, but I think I remember the backstory. She a crazy ho, is what it boils down to right? I'm sorry your brother is doing something you know will not work out well. I'm sure it's really hard to sit by and watch. Best of luck to them. And to you getting through the RD tonight.

CurlyQ284 · November 2009

Yeah, he screamed at my parents "you just don't even Tryyyyyyyy to like her" I think the best man said something. Back when they got engaged, I told him to wait cause she was on her best behavior after a breakup. He's very dramatic and freaks out easily. They fight on a nightly basis, in front of me. This isn't second hand, I'm at their house a lot and they fight all the time. He threatens to leave for the night to sleep elsewhere. It's just a mess. He even LOOKS miserable.

danieliza1127 · November 2009

Well damn, that really sucks to have to watch him go through with this. All you can do is support him and be there for him if/when it falls apart. That really sucks though.

laurenclaire1386 · November 2009

God, I really feel for you. I'm super close to my brother as well, and there's no way I could let him go through with something like this and have a clean conscience. But I also realize that telling someone marriage is a bad idea is a conversation that NEVER goes well. Maybe he'll have a come to Jesus experience tonight and decide not to go through with it. Here's to hoping for the best.

CurlyQ284 · November 2009

Has anyone been through this? Does it work out between the two of them? I've only seen this kinda thing happen once, where everyone hated the bride and they were divorced within a year.

ac_in_dc · November 2009

Sorry to hear this.I watched my sister enter a shiitty marriage 10 years ago and proceed to have 3 kids with the guy. They divorced 3 years ago and he makes her life hell any chance he gets. I voiced my concerns very tactfully before the wedding, another one of my sisters went all out and the two of them didn't speak for 2 full years. Confonting people about shitty relationships never works. It sucks.

laurenclaire1386 · November 2009

In my experience, when the majority of a couple's friends/family think the marriage is doomed, they're usually right. Unfortunately.

amalama · November 2009

My sister married a man everyone hated. She was also 18 and pregnant. I had the "You know you don't HAVE to get married" talk with her about a million times. Maybe I should have just come right out and told her he was a jerk, but I tried to focus on how they should wait instead of making it about him. It didn't work. Their marriage lasted 3 years before he started cheating, they are in the middle of their divorce now. It sucks and I'm sorry. There really isn't anything you can do but hope for the best and be there for him when it all falls apart.

BecW2be · November 2009

I went through this with my sister. She met a guy who immediately struck me as "off". Really obnoxious, tried to sound like he was more educated and had more money than he really did, etc. Four months into it she announces she's going to CA with him, and they're taking a day trip to Vegas to elope. I'm at work the Friday she's flying out to marry him, and my boss asks me what's wrong. I said I was down b/c my sister was marrying this guy I just didn't like and felt like something was wrong about him. I said he worked as a modular home salesman, but acted like he was CEO of a development company, and if he had so much money I didn't understand why he wouldn't fix his crooked front teeth. She dropped her fork and said, "OMG. Is his name Shitface Shitterson?" (name changed) It was. Turns out, he was ENGAGED to her best friend, and told her he had a business meeting in CA that weekend. He also owed her about $20K. We called her, got a friend's number in CA and I took a shot in the dark and called and left a message for my sister. She called back, I told her what I knew and told her to get the hell home and to NOT marry him. She called me back and said they weren't going to let some jealous ex-girlfriend ruin their lives and she was going to marry him. She did, the other fiance sued her new husband, and they ended up having to give her $1K every month for two years. He later cheated on her repeatedly and once I side kicked his car, he drew back to hit me, so I bit him and almost got arrested. But that's another story.

missy68 · November 2009

Yes, and having been on the other side of the coin; I've asked people WHY didn't they say anything, and their first response? Because you wouldn't listen! Sometimes, we have to make our own mistakes - and learn from them. Occasionally, the lessons are valuable, and make life better. By the way, they were probably right.

vicmo5 · November 2009

He later cheated on her repeatedly and once I side kicked his car, he drew back to hit me, so I bit him and almost got arrested. But that's another story.Bec, you are awesome.

angie74 · November 2009

if everyone has voiced their concerns, there is (sadly) nothing else that can be done... this sounds like sh!t waiting to happen... I hope it gets better and bec- you're a badass

mandapanda78 · November 2009

Bec my admiration for you grows and grows. I think you should write a book about your life and call it "B for Badass"

Bubbalub · November 2009

I have also been on the other side of this one and after it all went to hell I asked my friends and family why they didn't say anything. They figured I was in love and wouldn't listen. Ugh. Oh well, it helped shape me into the stronger woman I am today. Maybe this experience will make your brother stronger and more confident in what he wants out of life? Yeah, long shot, I know.

britne28 · November 2009

Curly, that sucks big time. Love is seriously blind sometimes. Bec, is your sister still married to that jerk?

missy68 · November 2009

Bec, you are a badass. Can I give you my ex's address???????

BecW2be · November 2009

Ha! I don't know about badass more than just really defensive of my close family and I reacted to him trying to hit me. My sister and I call it the night I attacked a giant. He was 6'7", which made me even more of an idiot. He'd been busted by her cheating, AGAIN, and then he left us at dinner and we had to find our own way home. I was pissed, and his precious car was important to him, so I kicked his precious thing to get back at him for hurting my precious thing (my sister). And hell no she's not still married to him. Although, I think I'm at the top of the suspect list if he ever meets an ill fate. Her new husband is amazing. I adore him, and he treats her like gold. If it's only because he heard of the night I attacked a giant, then I'm ok with that.

CurlyQ284 · November 2009

Sorry I posted and ran, I had a hair appointment. I asked her to put blue highlights in, she didn't have any blue

Welp, hopefully they split before they have kids. My mom said she's going to pull him aside and say "I'm going to say the same thing to you that I said to Curly before her wedding. If you're having second thoughts, it will be difficult, but we will support you through it. If you're absolutely sure you want to marry her tomorrow, we'll support you both, together." She didn't say that to me, but I told her to throw it in there so it sounds like she's not saying it just cause she hates FSIL. Funeral Rehearsal is in an hour. Gotta go pick out an outfit

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