"ceremony" for our son

Re: "ceremony" for our son

• Mrs.B6302007 member

  

  November 2009

  Just give it to him before or after the ceremony when you're all together and alone (having the photographer take pics is fine).  If he's too young to get it anyway, there's really no point in putting it in the ceremony.

  The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
  "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
  06.10.10
  BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
  
  
  

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• trix1223 member

  

  November 2009

  Ditto Mrs.B. I feel that a wedding is between two consenting adults. While I understand that you both adore your son~as all parents adore their children~your wedding is about you and your FI. As you said, your son isn't old enough to understand the implications of such a "ceremony". And frankly, I teach 3 year olds, and my guess is that he'd certainly rather have a Hess truck than an engraved pocket watch. I know you want to do something "keepsake" for him~but your wedding day isn't really about him. You've been his mom and dad since the second he was born. Your wedding doesn't change that at all. So give him a gift. But do it at the RD which is, I presume, where you are giving everyone else in your wedding a gift. And give someone your camera and have them take a picture of it for you.

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• NBVitamine

  

  November 2009

  This is somewhat related, my step-son (FH's son from previous marriage) is 13. I'd like to do something special for him. From what I see here, you seem to advise against it. But I'd like to do something to symbolize to him that I'm not only taking his father to be my husband, but also taking him as an important part my life. Any thoughts? I was thinking a piece of jewelry. Do I give this to him at the ceremony and make a special moment of it?

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• ffmaid

  

  November 2009

  pp- Ask your stepson. But basically it is not sweet it is creepy when kids are forced into this type of thing and it kinda deemens his real mom. Yes he is important to you but this is not t about yoru relationship with your step son. Stepson got no say in your marriage and vows or such to him in public are alkward at best. do not force a 13 year old into that position partiocularly at such an alkward age. He can be the best man. But anything else is creepy.

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• trix1223 member

  

  November 2009

  NBV-another thing to think about.  If your step-son's mom is still in his life, you're potentially putting him in an awkward position.  To a 13 year old, having him be in a kind of "ceremony" within the wedding ceremony might strike him as being publicly disloyal to his mom.  It may not be your intention, but I can easily see how a kid could feel that way.Give him something special:  just do it privately, and keep your wedding between you and your FI.

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• lilcassers member

  

  November 2009

  I think giving him a gift at the rehearsal is a great idea, but not the wedding
  
  Ok, this may seem cheesy for a wedding, but may be the best gift in the world for a little boy...
  
  does he like sports or anything? Say he likes baseball, having a baseball engraved with "You are so special to us Sam" Love "Dad & Ashley", for example, would be super sweet for a little boy, and awesome as he grows into a teen. So relating an interest of his with a special meaning from you and your FI is a cool idea. But jewelry or a pocket watch is something I think of for a royal family lol.

  

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• NBVitamine

  

  November 2009

  Thanks all so much for your input!!
  I will definitely strike my idea of doing something at the ceremony. You are correct that it would put him in an awkward position. I was really on the fence about it. Mainly because I didnt' want to deny the fact that he's so very important to me. I do however, agree that it is between his father and I.
  I was thinking of getting him a gold chain as a keepsake, not something he would wear necessarily. But I also like the idea of giving him something sports related since he's very much into sports.
  
  Thanks again for your helpful comments and suggestions!

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