Topic of the Day: Regrets

scoetto · November 2009

Is there anything in your life you regret? Or anything you wish you could do over?

Future Mrs Butterworth · November 2009

Well, that depends. If I could go back and do it over again and just choose a different path with no idea what I know now, no. Absolutely not. If I could go back to my 17 year old self knowing and having experienced everything I have, I most definitely would. I would stop fighting with my mother, stop screwing around senior year, and get into college. I would move here (to where I currently live) and start hitting on FI pretty much immediately. Then I'd find and adopt my muffinstuffs (my cats) with him, I would graduate from college, and be in a career now.

hollieheidi · November 2009

I have always lived my life and have stood behind EVERY decision I have made, even when I knew ahead of time they were bad decisions. I never wanted to live a life of regret. Even with my most recent divorce sometimes I wish I could regret that decision as well, but instead of regret I think it's more anger toward myself for again, making a decision I probably knew was a bad one from the beginning. I definately don't regret the marriage as it was my opportunity to have three wonderful children and have the resources to raise them to be the great kids they are today! Would I change some of the decisions I made, yes, but do I regret any of them?.......... no.

Witchys_Woman · November 2009

I wish I hadn't moved to Newfoundland for a year for school. I had a lot of fun and met some great people but school itself was a complete f*ck up. My course started with 3 classes of 15 and by the time all was said and done so many people we so dissatisfied we ended up with one class of 13. So many people dropped out and I should have been one of them. We got really jerked around and it was a huge waste of time and money. Then my student loan got screwed up by way of them taking payments out of an account which was supposedly closed. I ended up in debt big time. That was in 2000-2001 and just this year am I finally done paying in back. But now I have no credit and no one is willing to look at me for a mortgage, car loan, credit card...anything. It's tough to rebuild your credit when no one will give you any. .

DivineWillowMama · November 2009

I regret not breaking up with my ex sooner. I also regret letting him take my son the day he never came back with him. That's just a total suck!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm not trying hard enough, but him and his mother are always dodging me. Grrrrr. I don't want to get attacked again by his crazy mother. Just crazy! The worst part about it is that he haunts me in my dreams! All the time! I know the universe will bring Trey back to me, but sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my son by getting married without him in my life. I don't want him to be older and think that I was just trying to forget about him. I'm probably just over-reacting, but I don't want him to grow up and think I gave up on him. Grrrrrrrrrr. It's been a rough couple of days. I try to keep myself busy.

Future Mrs Butterworth · November 2009

I don't believe I've heard this story, Divine. Do you mind sharing? When/how/who?I too have a crazy ex. Story for story? Or, if you prefer not to put it on the interwebs for all to see, I understand.

scoetto · November 2009

DH has a similar story to yours, Divine. It sucks. And he felt horrible about getting married w/o his son there. But we're actively working to fix that, and as long as he (your son) knows that (whenver you get a chance to speak to him) then all should be well.I never understood how parents can use their chidren as pawns. Let the child decide what he/she wants to do. Not the parent. Sometimes the parent harbors ill feelings towards the other parent and uses the child to hurt the parent - when it's really hurting the child moreso than anything. Good luck, DWM. If you need to chat, we're here for ya.

DivineWillowMama · November 2009

It's been really hard lately. I was with my ex for 4 years, we had Trey, and I also have an 11 year old, Isaiah, who is my handsome ring bearer. When me and my ex split he took off with my son, Trey, when he took him to an appointment. I found him again after many months. I searched like a crazy mad woman. My ex found out that I was in a new relationship and that I was pregnant. What he said to me was "maybe you'll get the baby girl that I couldn't give you". That hurt me beyond hurt. He didn't love me anymore, but he had to throw that in. After that day he took off with Trey again. The horrible part is that my ex's mother was letting Trey call me when he was at her house. It was so great to hear his voice, but it was also torture. One day when she let Trey call me, she talked to me for a while also and told me that it was snowing pretty bad and they were just going to stay home until the snow stopped. I knew that was my only chance to see Trey. A very good friend of mine told me he was bringing me to him, no questions asked. So I took the ride from Maine to Massachusetts and when I got there I knocked on her door and asked if I could see my little boy. She let me in and Trey was in shock for a moment . then he ran up to me and asked if I could stay forever. I had a carseat in the car waiting for him, and warm clothes in my purse so they couldn't say I didn't put a jacket on him. I asked Trey if he wanted to go home with me and he ran for the door. I told Debbie that Dave (my ex) could pick him up in a couple days. Let me just let you know that I have all legal rights to this child. ALL legal rights. She decided to tackle me to the floor. I was 6 months pregnant with Willow. Trey was screaming for me. It was so tragic, and unfair. I got forced out of the house and my friend Mike called the police. I stayed outside and waited for the police, and one of the officers told me that I was prety much trying to kidnap him. GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I had a tearful ride back to Maine. The following week she served me a trespassing notice. Grrrr. I just want to see my little boy, but since I can't find out my ex's physical address I can't serve him papers. I called her ecently, the first time in over a year, and she told me that"God" has everyone where they belong. Let's just stick a rusty knife into the wound why don't we??? So pretty much I am enjoying having little Willow, and hoping and praying that I will find him again. Trey's birthday is the same as mine, and is 4 days before our wedding. It's going to be sweet and bittersweet.

Future Mrs Butterworth · November 2009

I'm sorry to hear about all this. Why are the courts not doing something major? I would start documenting every single thing, so that when you DO go to court you've got it all written down. Every scrap of evidence. How old is he? I'm lucky I never had kids with my ex. He had mental problems (real, diagnosed mental problems) and they got progressively worse while we were together. Before we got married we had moved into our own place, things were looking way up. We got married, he regressed (with the help of his POS mother) and we moved back into the duplex with her. Long story short I've got physical scars from the man and spent way too much time feeling guilty for leaving. It's more complex than that, but that's what I feel comfortable going into at the moment. My birthday is coming up. I am wondering if I'll ever allow myself to forget what he did on my last birthday with him. All I can think about is how I "ruined my surprise party" by coming home early from work, and so he cut himself up and told me it was my fault, and I spent the night in the ER with him and his mother, who informed me, very nicely, that every time he cut himself or took too much medicine etc etc it was my fault. I swallowed that garbage. I swallowed it and felt a tremendous amount of guilt. This was before I grew up and realized I like myself and am a good person. Now I'd never take that kind of crap and the man I'm marrying is a beautiful incredible soul.

Topic of the Day: Regrets

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