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NWR Am I being Unreasonable?

cschuma2cschuma2 member
Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
in Ohio-Toledo
Alright ladies... be honest with me.  I can take it.

MIL's birthday is in 3 weeks and apparently she has made mention of wanting a Kindle in the past.  BIL and DH work together and about a week ago BIL mentioned going in 50/50 on a Kindle for their mom.  DH said that $70 was kind of a lot to spend (we would normally spend $30-$40 on a birthday present) and that he would come home and talk to me about it.  DH forgot to mention it to me and we never talked about it.

BIL comes in to work today and says to DH that he went out and bought the Kindle and a service plan and our portion is $85.  Uuuuhhhh what?  He never called us to ask again.  Her birthday is still 3 weeks away and he wasn't running out of time.  Perhaps the most frustrating thing is that he bought it at Best Buy so he could use his reward dollars instead of letting me buy it from where I work where I get a decent employee discount.  He also is not passing on his reward dollar savings to us.  He also bought the service plan which I totally think is a scam and never in a million years would have paid for.  According to DH, BIL never even mentioned the service plan in the initial conversation.

I think it is totally presumptuous to just go out and buy this expensive gift and tell us what we owe him.  I want to say "F-you, take it back or give your mom a $170 gift on your own."  Perhaps a little more nicely :), I'm just super annoyed right now.  DH is much more passive and would just hand BIL the money if I wasn't involved.  $85 won't break the bank for us, but it's not like pocket change for us by any means.  Do I need to just suck it up and give BIL $85 to save myself drama? 

This has me really fired up!
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Re: NWR Am I being Unreasonable?

  • kellyandtim1kellyandtim1
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I totally would be too!  I'd probably stomp around and be peeved about it for a couple days, but end up just giving him the money to keep the peace and never even think about going in on a gift with them again.

    Out of curiosity - what is the difference with your employee discount?  DH could always say to him, why don't you take that back because we can get it for X amount?
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  • cschuma2cschuma2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    15%  which I realize isn't a ton.  However, I feel like that is a pretty decent savings when it comes to something as expensive as a Kindle.  ...IF we even wanted to buy something that big to begin with!

    DH said that he suggested letting me buy it with my discount and BIL said something along the lines of "well we had a lot of reward dollars that we wanted to use..." and then made no offer to let me utilize my discount.  It should also be noted that I am a big bargain shopper and that I take pride in finding sales and clearance things.  I would never knowingly buy a product from store X when I know I can get it cheaper from store Y.  It's the principle!

    I loooove my family, I really do.  Just not right now. Tongue out
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  • abbeylynne06abbeylynne06
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I'd be pretty ticked about that too.  It doesn't really make sense to not check again with you guys again before actually purchasing it.  If he really wanted the Best Buy Rewards points, he should pay the difference of what it cost there vs. using your discount.

    Honestly though, if I were in this situation, I'd be ticked but probably just go along with it.  I'm a non-confrontational wimp, though : )

    Could you ask your FIL (if he's in the picture, and still with MIL) to go in on the Kindle as well?  Then you could spread the cost out a bit.
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  • literarymuseliterarymuse member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think that's unreasonable at all... I don't know.. I'd probably end up paying it, just like everyone else. Maybe you could talk to him and suggest splitting the cost after his reward dollars kicked in?
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  • cschuma2cschuma2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies!  It's always nice to have an outsider's perspective.  I have a tendency to wear my emotions on my sleeve and I am far from shy about expressing my opinions.  I absolutely refuse to let someone walk all over me.  ...and I think that gets me in trouble sometimes.  :)

    I don't know what we'll end up doing, but I appreciate the suggestions!  Thanks!
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  • CoCo'sMommyCoCo'sMommy
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-toldeo_nwr-am-being-unreasonable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:237Discussion:887fdc52-578a-4a8a-8956-3eda5a52eeafPost:51a37c5d-d072-4b5b-b8f1-f7658449f5e1">Re: NWR Am I being Unreasonable?</a>:
    [QUOTE]15%  which I realize isn't a ton.  However, I feel like that is a pretty decent savings when it comes to something as expensive as a Kindle.  ...IF we even wanted to buy something that big to begin with! DH said that he suggested letting me buy it with my discount and BIL said something along the lines of "well we had a lot of reward dollars that we wanted to use..." and then made no offer to let me utilize my discount.  It should also be noted that I am a big bargain shopper and that I take pride in finding sales and clearance things.  I would never knowingly buy a product from store X when I know I can get it cheaper from store Y.  It's the principle! I loooove my family, I really do.  Just not right now.
    Posted by cschuma2[/QUOTE]

    Ok so Im probably the same way as you it wont break the bank, but its the principle. So my question is if you saved 15 percent would you pass that savings on to your BIL? Im assuming the answer is yes. So why would he not pass his savings(from his rewards) on to you? Im sorry I think thats incredibly rude! Im kinda grumpy today(so dont go based on my word) but if it were my family I would yell at my sister/brother. Since its his I would keep quiet and fork over the money(I am timid with my fiances family)
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  • antoinettegoverantoinettegover member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would want to know how much he saved and if he is just making you pay more? I'm just saying that's not cool he should had made things clear and also show you the receipt.
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  • cschuma2cschuma2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, I would have definitely split my employee discount savings with BIL.  It honestly never occured to me to do something different.

    Surprisingly, DH told BIL no thanks on the gift and didn't fork over any money!  I am quite thrilled.  DH said he didn't seem too annoyed and that he understood and then didn't make anymore mention of it today.  Hopefully there's no drama in the future and that both parties have learned their lesson!
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  • CoCo'sMommyCoCo'sMommy
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    yay thats actually great to hear!!! its non confrontational and solved the problem:)
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