BM and tattos?

Carla1019 · September 2011

My FI does not want two of my BM's tattoos to show during our wedding. I understand his concern but I picked my BM because I want them by my side and I feel uncomfortable asking them to cover up.

Is there a way to compromise? Can I ask them to cover up for pictures but they can take the make-up off during the reception? I personally don't care but FI doesn't want to see ink on the BM when he looks at our wedding pictures.

What should I do?

island07b2b · September 2011

I like your idea of having them cover up for the photos. That is the usual compromise I hear about. I have a tattoo on my back shoulder. It's small. I was in a wedding as a BM and wore a strapless dress but neither the bride or groom cared about anyone's tattoo really. However, if I were asked to cover up I would have been just fine.

mahoganieyes · September 2011

I really did not care but one of my bm has a tattoo on her back. She actually asked was it okay but the girls ended up picking a dress that covered the tattoo. Is it a name or picture? Some tattoos look beautiful and add contrast to traditional wedding photos. Not too many people living today have no tattoo; definetly becoming more common.

2010Bride2be · September 2011

Short answer....tell your FI to get a grip.

Long answer.....
You picked your bridal party because they are your closest friends and you want them to stand up for you on your special day. Tattoos are typically very sentimental and meaningful to those who have them. To ask someone to cover them up is rude. That's just like your FI saying that he doesn't want someone in your wedding photos because he doesn't like the way they look.

I have tattoos and chose to cover them on my wedding day because my mother asked me to. But I did not dare request my bridesmaids to cover theirs. (I had one bridesmaid actually ask me if I wanted her to.)

BTW....Tattoo cover-up is a b!tch to get off. Its not as simple as going to the bathroom and washing it off.

Soon2BSand · September 2011

What ^^^^ said.

TNMurray · September 2011

DH got whatever he wanted when it came to the wedding because he cared about soo little. I agree with not showing tattoos. I think it is a good comprimise to ask if they mind covering it up for the ceremony and pictures. Worse they can say is no and then you will need to talk to your fi.

mlewis85 · September 2011

Where are the tattoos? Makeup to cover them is an absolute pain but if it's on their back or arms, can they wear a balero during the ceremony and for pictures? That way they can take it off during the reception to be comfortable.

Gift928 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_bm-tattos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:031d40c2-2421-4ef1-8003-aadab41bf9aePost:e86a3478-21ae-4d11-88d8-14b44067f7d2">Re: BM and tattos?</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I think it is a good comprimise to ask if they mind covering it up for the ceremony and pictures. Worse they can say is no and then you will need to talk to your fi.
</strong>Posted by TNMurray[/QUOTE]

THIS!

lmlm · September 2011

I don't think that asking them to cover up is bad. My FI didnt ask but I was the one running with this one. I have 2 girls with back and arm tattos and I don't see the elegance being there when I look back at my pictures with tats in the pics. No to mention I don't want to have to keep reminding the photographer about posing us diff ways for shots just to cover up. I don't think any less of my 2 special ladies b/c of this at all. I look at it like this, you tell them how you want their hair, shoes and dresses, why not finish up with the make-up request as well. All one big package for accepting to be in someones wedding.

egammo3 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_bm-tattos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:031d40c2-2421-4ef1-8003-aadab41bf9aePost:a08a5c8a-98ce-4d49-98c1-2380e55bd69d">Re: BM and tattos?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think that asking them to cover up is bad. My FI didnt ask but I was the one running with this one. I have 2 girls with back and arm tattos and I don't see the elegance being there when I look back at my pictures with tats in the pics. No to mention I don't want to have to keep reminding the photographer about posing us diff ways for shots just to cover up. I don't think any less of my 2 special ladies b/c of this at all. I look at it like this, you tell them how you want their hair, shoes and dresses, why not finish up with the make-up request as well. All one big package for accepting to be in someones wedding.
Posted by lmlm[/QUOTE]

THIS! You couldn't have put it any better, and I actually thought the same thing. I asked my sis how she felt about covering up her arm tattoo and she agreed to do it because its my day, and it comes with being a BM.

djscat · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_bm-tattos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:031d40c2-2421-4ef1-8003-aadab41bf9aePost:a08a5c8a-98ce-4d49-98c1-2380e55bd69d">Re: BM and tattos?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think that asking them to cover up is bad. My FI didnt ask but I was the one running with this one. I have 2 girls with back and arm tattos and I don't see the elegance being there when I look back at my pictures with tats in the pics. No to mention I don't want to have to keep reminding the photographer about posing us diff ways for shots just to cover up. I don't think any less of my 2 special ladies b/c of this at all. I look at it like this, you tell them how you want their hair, shoes and dresses, why not finish up with the make-up request as well. All one big package for accepting to be in someones wedding.
Posted by lmlm[/QUOTE]

Totally agree. 3 of my 4 girls have tats. Once we pick the dresses I will be able to see how they look in the dresses. If it doesn't look good to me I will ask them to cover it. If its not distracting or overwhelming then I won't.

chescam · September 2011

I don't know about this. A tattoo is permanent and I feel that people get them to show them off. I think you should allow them the opportunity to come to you first about covering them. If they don't bring it up, just leave it alone. WHen it comes to things like this I just leave them alone. FI and I don't have any tattoos but I do think I would be offended if someone asked me to cover it up because of how it would look in pictures.

For my wedding I went through something similar. I don't wear jewelry and my ears aren't even pierced. If a BM decides to wear jewelry, that's their decision. If they come to me and ask me how I feel about it, I'll give them my view but it's entirely up to them what they want to do.

daniandron · September 2011

I might not ask anyone to cover the tattoo if it was just for photos, especially since I've heard the make-up really IS a pain. Can your photographer just photoshop them out of the final photos? Now if FI has a problem with them showing for the ceremony, then yes maybe a bolero. But I'd feel singled out if it were me with the tattoo. Can they all wear a bolero and not just the 2?

MarryingmyKnight · September 2011

I have a HUGE tattoo on my back and I don't plan on covering it up. I am sure because it is on my back it won't be seen in pictures (maybe ceremony pics) but I am not concerned with it. I don't like arm tattoos but I am not making my BM's cover them up because then I would have to cover mine and I love my tattoo.

I was in my friend wedding and she didn't ask me to cover the tattoo and honestly it wasn't in any of her pics.

I guess it is just a personal preference, if your FI wants them to cover it up then ask them to. Maybe to be nice about it you can purchase the make-up they would need to use to cover it up. You can even let them know that you love them how they are but FI is asking that they cover it up. Hmm? That's a hard one and a matter of preference.

prncsz · September 2011

It's your wedding just ask them to cover it up with make up the day of your wedding. I had two BM's with tats one was my sister I let them know from day one they needed to be covered up. They did not have a problem with it.

kaimah · September 2011

I agree with prncsz and your FI, just ask them to cover up. it's only for one day, they should not have a problem.

irons633 · September 2011

I believe that you should compromise with him. I have two small ones on my back and I'll be covering them up due to my mother asking me to. However, my bridesmaids as well have tattoos and they are not offensive, nor are they large so I will not be asking them to cover them up.

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