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Walking me down the aisle...

Hannah098Hannah098
First Comment
in Texas-Houston
I have not spoken to my father in nearly 7 years, although he lives less then 20 miles from me.  Its an awful situation, and please just accept its been a difficult choice I had to make to allow time to heal my and my mother's wounds!  MOVING ON! :-)

I am asking all of my father's family to come to my wedding, therefore I am asking he and his new family also.  I will see them prior to the wedding at another family function, so hopefully any drama will be taken care of there. 

I have no intention of asking my Dad to walk me down the aisle.  My Grandpa has been more a part of my life than my Dad ever was, and I felt like asking him.  Then I started thinking what will people think - why is he walking her down the aisle when her Dad is here?  Will my Dad's upset be compounded by me asking someone else to walk me?

So, now I am thinking I should just walk myself down the aisle, since really I am 29 and have been on my own since 16 - no one else is "giving me away".  My Mom does not want to walk me down the aisle, and I agree, its just too non-traditional for me. 

My question is, in order to avoid hurting feelings and having guests wonder, is the right thing to do just walk myself down?  I am going to ask the Deacon if he can just skip the "who gives away this girl" portion.  Our family Priest mentioned having my FI meet me midway up the aisle and us presenting ourselves together to God.  Too crazy???
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Re: Walking me down the aisle...

  • KelaReneeKelaRenee
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you want to have your grandpa walk you down the aisle, then do so. 
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  • sweet__peasweet__pea member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Follow your heart.  Sounds to me like you really want your grandfather to walk you down.  Why worry about what others will say.  Do what is in YOUR heart and don't worry about what others think.  This is YOUR wedding.  :)
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  • nana8301nana8301 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel like you should do whatever makes you happy. And those who are truly important and close to your heart should know why you chose your grandfather instead of your father.
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  • cfdittrichcfdittrich
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am in the same situation Hannah. My dad will be invited but only because I don't have the heart to not invite him, however, my brother will be walking me down the isle because my Papa will be marrying us. I say to go wtih your grandfather and don't worry about what other people think. IT IS YOUR DAY, NO ONE ELSE'S! I have to keep reminding myself that as well.
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  • MdniteMustang00MdniteMustang00
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-houston_walking-down-aisle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:121Discussion:1cdf8403-889e-46fb-9984-68adf11a263bPost:f8bc78ef-83cb-4dff-9bbf-7674e4906a48">Re: Walking me down the aisle...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Follow your heart.  Sounds to me like you really want your grandfather to walk you down.  Why worry about what others will say.  Do what is in YOUR heart and don't worry about what others think.  This is YOUR wedding.  :)
    Posted by sweet__pea[/QUOTE]

    exactly!

    My Uncle walked me down. I wanted someone to. I refused to have my mom do it (not because of tradition reasons....). This uncle (and aunt) have always always been there for us...and all they had were boys. So I was honored to have him do it, and he was tickled I asked!
    Becca & Justin - 5/16/09 - Planning Bio My Blog(updated 3/12)

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  • Hannah098Hannah098
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all of the advice!  Its really helpful to hear this from people not involved in the situation.  While it may hurt my Dad's feelings, I do not think he would create drama during the ceremony or reception.  Surely no one would actually ask me during the reception about why my Grandpa walked me instead of my Dad....right???  Yes, yes, this is the right thing to do.
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  • cfdittrichcfdittrich
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    NO one will ask, and if they do, how are they a part of your life and not be surprised by it?
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  • mpwdpwmpwdpw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Follow your heart sweeite!!  

    My father and I aren't very close but we do have a relationship, however my stepfather has been more of the father figure in my life.  SO, I had both of them walk me down the aisle.  :)

    And if your afraid of hurting your dads feelings, just think of hows he has made you feel.  In my opinion I wouldn't think he was worthy enough to give me away if yall aren't close at all.
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  • Toshia10Toshia10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am in the same situation and just got married June 11th. My Grandfather walked me down the aisle even though my Dad sat in the front row as my family. To be honest, it meant the world to me and when I began that walk down the aisle to my Husband my worries about what everyone else would think melted away and my Grandfather proudly gave me away and not a word was ever mentioned. I was extrememy worried and understand how hard it is, but allow someone to give you away. If your Grandfather has been a big part of your life don't take that away from him or yourself. Your Dad should be happy that you are happy on this day. I had a special dance for my Grandfather and one for my Dad as well to make sure that he was recognized. Best of luck, and remember....all of this worry goes away when you begin your walk down the aisle and see the man that you will be spending the rest of your life with. Wink
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