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April 2013 Weddings
zombiebridesteph
member
Can I just curl up and cry? You know, instead of planning this wedding.
So we hashed out a budget and decided to have a small wedding so we could stay in our budget and still have a great wedding for the people we care about. We are paying for this wedding ourselves with a little help from our families, but not much. Today, the future hubby told his mom our plan. He said she "went from zero to tears in about a half a second." Now we have to invite all these people that we don't even really want there. I know this is OUR wedding and we should do what we want, but I can't say no to the future mother in law. I think I might just cry. Our wedding is over a year away and I'm already feeling like I just want to elope with the fiance. Is anyone else dealing with this? I'm sure someone is.
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Re: Can I just curl up and cry? You know, instead of planning this wedding.
But ultimately *I* want these people there too, not just my parents.
What our issue is the room size. We have enough people to cover the grand ballroom if they ALL come. If they don't, it is another $$ per head until we reach the minimum capacity. If we choose the smaller room, and they all show up, it will be very crowded, and cramped. I used to work at our reception hall so I totally can see this happening. But in the end it will be cheaper to stay with the smaller room and not worry about the head count.
I got lucky because my parents actually went to a wedding back in October and they had the whole ballroom. they had over 350 guests and my dad said that was even crowded for him. He wants us to get the full room and will pay the extra money per head if we don't reach our minimum.
Sit down with your FI and see where you will be compromising to allow for these extra guests your FMIL wants. Then show her what YOU will be giving up in order to accomodate them. Not in a way to make her feel bad, but just sit down with her and show her the revised plan. Say something like "oh it sucks I can't get this because now we have added the extra guests to our list". Maybe she will realize she doesn't need to invite the neighbor who babysat your FI that one time when he was little, and she will shorten her must haves.
I hope this makes sense lol, I am sorry if I am confusing. But good luck!
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I know how you feel. My FI has a HUGE family! We decided on a small wedding, then we went to visit his mother and she started giving off all these names of people who had to be there from their family. Needless to say I had a huge panic attack and ended up offending her. My FI was very understanding. Here we were planning a small wedding capping it at 80 to capping it now at 130. My FI and I are also on a tight budget and are planning on paying for this ourselves. Thankfully his mother has offered to help pay because the majority of the people there are her family. I would talk to your FI and then talk to your FMIL about YOUR plans for YOUR wedding. Remind her that it is what the two of you want, not what she wants.
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