Looking for advice...

Re: Looking for advice...

• SuperRNluvsChef

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I'd give them one more deadline and call it good.  It's their issue if they don't have the dress ordered in time.  Sorry I know it's stressful and it's hard not to act like a mother hen. 
  
  GL!

  Hitched! 09.30.11

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• KateJ10

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree- They will be the ones that look like jackasses if they don't have their dresses on time. How annoying!

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• nordke member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Very frustrating. If it is a money thing, maybe you can offer to help pay so it can get ordered now, and then they can pay you back later? Of course that's if you have the money to do that in the first place, and if you trust that they'll pay you back...As we all know, being in weddings can be expensive, so if that's what they're worried about, maybe offer to help out IF you're able.

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• esunada member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  It really depends.  How close are you to these two now, since from the sounds of it, one isn't even talking to you...why?  Call the place you are getting the BM dresses and find out what they think is the absolute deadline to order the dresses.  Then you can tell your BMs that the store said this is the absolute deadline (maybe say a week earlier in case you need to find replacement bridesmaids ASAP) and if they can't buy it buy then you'll need to find other bridesmaids to fill their spot.  Make sure to say that it won't affect your friendship (if you care to still be friends with them) but you can't have bridesmaids who don't have dresses.  Just be warned that telling someone you don't want them to be your bridesmaid anymore can end a friendship.  If it's a money issue, and you can afford it, ask if they need help first or just pay for it yourself if you really want them in the wedding. At least now you know they aren't the most dependable friends. Good luck. 

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• kaylas16

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_looking-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:0f2a5cf1-7297-4e39-b0b4-fb65ab7aed29Post:3ce28407-15a1-4741-96d4-02eebfdddb12">Re: Looking for advice...</a>:
  [QUOTE]It really depends.  How close are you to these two now, since from the sounds of it, one isn't even talking to you...why?  Call the place you are getting the BM dresses and find out what they think is the absolute deadline to order the dresses.  Then you can tell your BMs that the store said this is the absolute deadline (maybe say a week earlier in case you need to find replacement bridesmaids ASAP) and <strong>if they can't buy it buy then you'll need to find other bridesmaids to fill their spot.</strong>  Make sure to say that it won't affect your friendship (if you care to still be friends with them) but you can't have bridesmaids who don't have dresses.  Just be warned that telling someone you don't want them to be your bridesmaid anymore can end a friendship.  If it's a money issue, and you can afford it, ask if they need help first or just pay for it yourself if you really want them in the wedding. At least now you know they aren't the most dependable friends. Good luck. 
  Posted by esunada[/QUOTE]
  
  Woah woah woah.  I'd probably skip this step.  Don't get a "replacement" bridesmaid because they will know that's why you're asking them.  Also, unless you don't intend on being friends with this bridesmaid anymore don't get rid of her.  Like other ladies have said, she's the one who will look stupid if she doesnt have a dress or it doesnt fit correctly, not you.   Just tell them when it has to be done by and leave it. 

  
  June 18, 2011

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• LCW2LCO

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  Truthfully, my girls JUST finally got them about a month ago and we just got them from Davids Bridal. Super frustrating though... people are busy but that's no excuse. I'd just politely but sternly say something like, "hey girls! Just checking in with you! I know that only X AMOUNT of you have gotten your dress and I had hoped to have them ordered by the end of last month. Please place your orders for your dresses asap! In order to get them by the wedding date you need to have them ordered by XYZ. Thank you girls for doing this - I know it's a lot of work, but you're really helping me a lot". something positive to end with? Just a suggestion. Good luck!!!
  
  
  

  12/17/86 - "Once upon a time...." 10/08/11 - "Happily ever after..."

  {Our Wedding Website!}

  

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• leggwilliams

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I let myself get super stressed over this exact issue. I finally told the bridesmaid missing from the order that she had to place her order by that Saturday or I would give the go ahead for the order to be sent out without hers and she'd have to worry about it on her own. She had it in by that Saturday.

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• flower_lover member

  

  August 2011 edited December 2011

  I'd take a little different approach. Rather than *telling* them that the deadline is here, I'd *ask* them about their situation. Something like this, "
  
  Hey, Susie, I'm so honored you  agreed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. As I've mentioned, for your bridesmaid dress to arrive before the wedding, and to have enough time for alterations, you would have to order it by X. I noticed you haven't ordered it, and I'm getting nervous. Is there a reason why? I just want to make everything goes smoothly. Please let me know what's up!"
  
  This puts the burdent on *their* shoulders...kind of like, "hey you agreed to this, how come you aren't holding up your side of the bargain". My guess is that if the person is just procrastinating, they will apologize and order the dress. If there are other issues, such as financial, this gives them a chance to step up and let you know what's going on, and you can help as appropriate.

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