Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion
Options

Too many groomsmen!

pastoreem12pastoreem12
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I am soon to be engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years. We have been seriously talking about wedding and wedding party. We both have small families, therefore having a small-ish wedding with about 100 guests (this includes the wedding party). He has been saying he has 10 groomsmen, while I have 4 bridesmaids. The uneven number is not an issue to me. My question is, is he being irrational? The men he is thinking of asking are people that I have only met once or twice since we have been together. He has seen them possibly 2-3 times in the passed 5 years. He is also wanting to include his best man's little brother, whom he is not friends with. Am I the one being picky because I would prefer a smaller wedding party since its a small wedding or is he going overboard with who he wants in our wedding? Or should we just leave it as is?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Too many groomsmen!

  • Options
    ceh789ceh789 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    So 15% of the people at the ceremony will be part of the WP?  I would think the two of you were being very silly, sorry.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    1) Don't finalize (don't ask) your WP until 8-10 months before your wedding.

    2) He can have whomever he chooses although I think ten is a bit excessive.

    3) When the time comes and he still says he wants all of these guys tell him two things: a) The guys you have standing up for you should be ones that you'd call at 4 in the morning to help burry a body in the woods and b) Don't forget that you have to purchase all of these guys thank you gifts so purchasing for 10 guys can get really expensive.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pastoreem12pastoreem12
    First Comment
    I completely agree with you. I don't want a large wedding party, like I said. I would prefer him to have 4 or 5. However, I can't convince him that the people he wants to ask are unreasonable. Just wondering if I was being unreasonable with wanting him to cut some of his fiture groomsmen out or if I was right, in that we should not have a large wedding party.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ceh789ceh789 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Well it doesn't really matter who is "right" here.

    Perhaps if you explain that you're not comfortable with such a large party and suggest that you agree to have only a MOH and BM so that he doesn't have to "leave anyone out" of being a GM.  Generally people who might feel slighted to not be included in a group of 5-6 would understand why they're not in a group of 1.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pastoreem12pastoreem12
    First Comment
    Thanks for the advice!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    saracowansaracowan member
    First Comment
    I have found that men have different kinds of relationships than women. Early on, when we were talking wedding part, my fiance would say "I could always ask X to do it" and it would be someone he was close to in high school but literally hasn't seen in 5 years. He sees those friends as lifelong friends, even though he hasn't seen or spoken to them in years, and if I told him today we needed one more groomsmen, I think he wouldn't hesitate to call one of these guys and have him stand up.

    I do think 10 is a lot, and I ultimately talked my fiance out of having guys in the WP that I've barely met, but men won't necessarily come to that conclusion on their own. You'll have to talk to him about it. Be respectful, but point out that you'll be looking at these pictures for years to come and that he should limit the WP to his very closest friends.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    almostMUMFORDalmostMUMFORD
    First Comment
    I am in the same delima. I rather have 4-6 bridesmaid so I won't have to pick and choose between friends. at th 4-6 mark its only sister and bff. My FI has narrowed his tlist from 28 TWENTY EIGHT to 8 however I still feels like 8 is a lot of people... Yay or Nay to 8?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ceh789ceh789 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    I'm reminded of this post:   http://etiquettehell.com/hellsbells/?p=4000

    "It took an hour to get everyone down the aisle" and who doesn't want to have the caption "Related but I don't know how, says the bride".
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sweetcanadian1979sweetcanadian1979
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-many-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c8784dfe-f557-424f-b740-91c4f29aa555Post:5fb36d4e-8869-4169-aaef-a1a559ccacb3">Re: Too many groomsmen!</a>:
    [QUOTE]1) Don't finalize (don't ask) your WP until 8-10 months before your wedding. 2) He can have whomever he chooses although I think ten is a bit excessive. 3) When the time comes and he still says he wants all of these guys tell him two things: a) The guys you have standing up for you should be ones that you'd call at 4 in the morning to help burry a body in the woods and b) Don't forget that you have to purchase all of these guys thank you gifts so purchasing for 10 guys can get really expensive.
    Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

    I agree with all this & wow that link is absolutely ridicilous & crazy.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards