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April 2012 Weddings
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Getting grumpy..

Epiphany1031Epiphany1031
100 Comments
in April 2012 Weddings
I MUST vent...  

My FH's parents refuse to have placecards and assigned seating even though there are now going to be over 100 in attendance. It's really their say, since it's at their house and they have contributed a lot to the wedding. They say that their side of the family will ignore the placecards anyway because they don't know the etiquette so it'll be a waste of time. I'm irritated because I DIY'd the placecards and was so happy about them (and it took a lot of work!!) and now it was for nothing. Not only that but now it's going to be complete chaos when it's time to be seated. I have tried a zillion ways to explain the benefits of placecards but they refuse.
And on top of that, so far most of our single guests in the family have invited themselves a guest on the response card even though the invitation was written to them only. It's getting to the point of being extremely annoying and awkward to keep making calls. Our catering bill and rental bill  for chairs, etc.. is climbing fast every day due to the growing guest list (a lot of VERY distant family members calling, "can we go?" when there are 6 in their household (for example) and my FH's parents saying, sure!!)  and now I don't even know if we can pay for it even if we put our whole entire tax return towards it. UGH.. We had started out with a guest list of 65 and now it has grown to 115. 115!!!!!
I don't know how this all got out of control. :(

Ok thanks for "listening".. just feeling really overwhelmed right now.
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Re: Getting grumpy..

  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    Yikes! So have you been making calls to the single guests? What do they say? Are your FILs paying for all of the costs associated with these extra guests? If they are saying yeah sure, come along, they should be covering the costs, IMO. You said the wedding is at their house and it's their call, but I wasn't sure what all you meant about what they are paying for. 

    I mean, clearly it's not just a few people. Your GL has almost doubled! I would not be taking this laying down, unless your FILs are covering all costs associated with these extra guests. 
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  • cdbishopcdbishop member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I agree with Erica, if your FIL are just saying yes to extra people it should be at their cost not yours.   If you don't want those extra guests, you need to contact those who invited them.  
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  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Wow, there's a whole lot of craziness in that. I'd be upset about the escort cards too, considering you put so much effort into it. If they're already done, why can't they be put out? Even if only some of the people see them, as they claim, what difference does it make to them??

    Regarding having so many extra people, I'm confused too. Are the ones who are inviting the extras the one paying for it? If not, they're way out of line. You and the set of parents that are paying need to put your feet down. It has to stop.

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  • TrixeetrixTrixeetrix member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I am confused on this as well.  Who is paying for these extra people?

     And I understand that its at MIL's house and she may be contributing money but it is YOUR wedding.  If you want to put some place cards out that you made I would just do it.  MIL should understand that this is your special day and if you want place cards than there will be place cards!!!
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  • blgroutblgrout
    1000 Comments

    Has your FMIL been to a wedding where there is no assigned seating of any sort?  Even just assigned tables would be better than nothing IMO.  I'm sure you've probably tried explaining that someone always ends up sitting by themselves because of the chaos that ensues with no seating plan (been there, done that) or having 15 people crammed in at a table meant for 10 because peeps want to sit together.  That totally sucks that she doesn't want to let you use your placecards though.  And that she's letting everyone and their BFF come to the wedding uninvited (we've had some of this, though not to the same degree you have!).  If they're paying for it, I guess I'd probably let it go, even if it's irritating.

    *hugs*  Hope things calm down for you soon!

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  • faerylvr27faerylvr27
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_getting-grumpy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:3cd66b6a-27b4-4937-b3f5-178d8b4ddc07Post:469f54b7-e2b2-4ea6-8563-f1f10fc72e3a">Re: Getting grumpy..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yikes! So have you been making calls to the single guests? What do they say? Are your FILs paying for all of the costs associated with these extra guests? If they are saying yeah sure, come along, they should be covering the costs, IMO. You said the wedding is at their house and it's their call, but I wasn't sure what all you meant about what they are paying for.  I mean, clearly it's not just a few people. Your GL has almost doubled! I would not be taking this laying down, unless your FILs are covering all costs associated with these extra guests. 
    Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

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