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Did you register? How did you decide?

prodigalgirlprodigalgirl member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
We really don't NEED anything.  Of course, there are some things we'd love to have, since we both took the bare minimum when we divorced.

But, my family can be rude, catty gossips sometimes and they love to find fault with people.  Normally, they complain when a bride and groom don't have a wedding registry.  But, in our situation, since it's a second wedding for both of us, I'm not sure whether they'd complain more about us NOT having a registry or us HAVING a registry.

Part of me just wants to avoid registering so that no one accuses us of demanding gifts.

What did you do?  Have you heard any negative responses?
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Re: Did you register? How did you decide?

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    gcbsmommygcbsmommy
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are registering for just what we *need* and only offering that information to those who specifically ask for it.  We don't necessarily want people to bring gifts, but if they do, it would be a blessing to have things we actually need instead of things that collect dust.  We also tried to find affordable items to register for.  The first time around, I didn't think twice about registering for expensive place settings of china and $300 comforter sets, but this time, we are really trying to make things affordable and practical.  Just our way of doing it.  I am sure what is "right" varies in each couple's situation.

    :)
    Kristina
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    debi1941debi1941 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel he pain you have with this very decision....we will both be 48 when we get married next month and seriously registering at our age to me seems ludicrous.....BUT.....we did, at one location...Bed,Bath and beyond...only because a double handful of people kept asking me about it....

    I walked aimlessly thru the store, needing nothing, the salesperson who set me up with the scan gun told me to then...stop looking for things you need, and scan what you would like to buy if given $1000.00   ...so off we went, scanning away......

    a few relatives have asked, a few friends have asked.....we have already started rcvg gifts and two came from the registry! 

    A wise woman on this very board said to me when I asked exactly the same question.....register or beware...you may end up with a chilli pepper lamp! 

    You don't need to bring it to every ones attention, but if asked, say, YES, we are...at _________________...and thats the end.....

    If a sister or relative gives negativity, well, maybe they are just a bit jealous :)

    Congrats !

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    BoxerGirl73BoxerGirl73
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having the same dilemma in deciding. We already live together and have everything we need, but suspect since this is his first marriage that his family in particular will ask. I had also thought about registering for gifts towards our honeymoon.
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    MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond for things that we would like to have or for replacement items.  It's not a large registery just enough that if there are gift givers attending we will get what we will use, and not a chili pepper lamp or an invitation embedded fiberglass serving tray.
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    thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We registered at Crate and Barrell and Bed, Bath and Beyond. It was helpful for out of town guests to order a gift and have it delivered to the house.

    I debated on this too, but people want to bring gifts, and you obviously need things for your household, so I would go ahead and register if I were you.
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    belletopbelletop
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you having any showers?  If so definitely register...

    We just registered last weekend and it was hard to find enough items to put on there.  We managed to get 60 items on the registry.  But it's also FI's first wedding so his family is throwing us 2 showers.
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    JohnAmy423babyJohnAmy423baby
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is a rough spot for me as well. We both were previously married and had very short lived maraiges. Its only been 5 years since my last shower so i feel really weird registering for gifts. (even though I gave the ex most from last time) I am getting pressure to do so from coworkers but I think I am going to skip it and maybe look at a few items or stores that a gift certificate would be good for.
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    jdkarstenjdkarsten member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_did-register-did-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:fe6c5e06-0d69-4762-9d19-fda75c5039fePost:57728ffa-5a8d-4beb-bf89-72a1e02d6009">Re: Did you register? How did you decide?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel he pain you have with this very decision....we will both be 48 when we get married next month and seriously registering at our age to me seems ludicrous.....BUT.....we did, at one location...Bed,Bath and beyond...only because a double handful of people kept asking me about it.... I walked aimlessly thru the store, needing nothing, the salesperson who set me up with the scan gun told me to then...stop looking for things you need, and scan what you would like to buy if given $1000.00   ...so off we went, scanning away...... a few relatives have asked, a few friends have asked.....we have already started rcvg gifts and two came from the registry!  A wise woman on this very board said to me when I asked exactly the same question.....register or beware...you may end up with a chilli pepper lamp!  You don't need to bring it to every ones attention, but if asked, say, YES, we are...at _________________...and thats the end..... If a sister or relative gives negativity, well, maybe they are just a bit jealous :) Congrats !
    Posted by debi1941[/QUOTE]
    Thank  you so much for your kind and wise words.  We are getting married for a second time and these issues are not easy.
    You are a gift to me today.
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    prodigalgirlprodigalgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you, ladies!  It's so great to get this input from women who have BTDT and the encouragement is certainly welcome too!
    Thanks again!
    ~PG~
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    colleenegancolleenegan
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    register. It makes it much easier for those people who want to purchase for you what you would like. Ignore your gossipy, judgmental family. They need to get a life, be polite and either support your decisions, or get out of the way!!!!! You are an adult!
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    mustanggooniemustanggoonie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I have been living together for a year and a half now.  There's not much that we need or don't have.  But I'm registered anyway.  It would be really nice to have a new set of bath towels and bed sheets.  Plus there's a few items that might be fun to get anyway.  I have a knottie wedding website and there is a page for your registry, so I'm letting everyone know about our registry there. 
    Most people expect to bring a gift with them to a wedding.  If people want to bring gifts, you might as well register for something that you want, eh??
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