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Y'all helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!

perkins81perkins81
100 Comments
in Not Engaged Yet
Today, I had a meeting with a woman who is just a few years older than me and while waiting on the third person, we had some fun "girl" talk. I was talking about my BF and how I can't wait til he proposes and I know it's coming soon cause he said he's getting the ring this month, etc etc. Then she randomly asked if I had bought my dress yet. I was totally thrown off guard and said, "what? huh? . . . um, no, we're waiting until we get engaged before we do any planning or buying of anything." She said, "um . . . ok, but don't you want to get a head start?"

Then I went into a long explanation about The Knot (she'd never heard of it) and how everyone on there says it's really bad to pre-plan for so many reasons, etc. My explanation got her thinking and I think we cleared things up. She seemed to understand why it's better to wait. So yay TK and all of y'all ("you guys" haha) for helping me know what to say to her!
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Re: Y'all helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!

  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    YAY!  I'm glad we can spread the doctrine of Non-BSC.  <3
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yay, spread the word!!  I wish I could have sent some friends to this site back when they were planning their weddings.
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  • SeaTea02SeaTea02
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have a co-worker going to try on dresses in a few weeks. She is NEY. She said she isn't telling her BF. Yup. I did, for the record, tell her she was crazy to which she laughed and said she knew she was. 

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  • susieq87susieq87
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This just reminds me of the episode of say yes to the dress (which I watched frequently before I got engaged and after) where there was a trunk show and some girl came in to buy a dress who didnt even have a boyfriend yet. What was she thinking! Good job hanging in there. It will be worth the wait!
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_yall-helped-today-explain-someone-pre-planning-bsc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2281915-7f6e-4bd5-9d70-c8e2a5287a3bPost:c63ab629-a5da-40ea-83fa-1a71b0562bd0">Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!</a>:
    [QUOTE]This just reminds me of the episode of say yes to the dress (which I watched frequently before I got engaged and after) where there was a trunk show and some girl came in to buy a dress who didnt even have a boyfriend yet. What was she thinking! Good job hanging in there. It will be worth the wait!
    Posted by susieq87[/QUOTE]

    <div>I love watching SYTTD.  I haven't seen that episode but I've seen a few when its girls who are just dating, not engaged.  I just don't understand girls like that.  I'm currently trying to convince a friend not to try on dresses as she's not engaged.  She doesn't seem to see a problem with it.</div>
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  • SopChickSopChick member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I was hanging out with BF's friend and his GF the other night, and she said something about "maybe you'll find some beautiful wedding dresses to bring back with you from Vancouver." If I had been drinking a little more, I probably would have said something, but I don't really know her very well so I tried to behave. I bean dipped her instead of lecturing.

    In my head I was screaming "WTFBBQ?!?!" Why would I be looking for wedding dresses? BF and I are NEY, and it's not something we really plan on doing until I'm at least finished my degree.

    People are weird.
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  • cu97tigercu97tiger member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Great job Perkins! I really don't get why you would even want to try on a dress if you weren't engaged. I'm a little superstitious and I for sure would have thought I was jinxing myself. Plus, there's just something about trying on that first dress after you're engaged.... why would you want to ruin that by trying on dresses when you're NEY?

    Finally, I was talking to one of my friends yesterday (she's married) about how those things that you think you want when you're dreaming of your PPD don't end up being what you want or end up with. It's like once the wedding is a reality, you make different choices! <getting off soapbox>
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Friendly FYI because this drives me crazy: it's y'all, not ya'll.
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  • perkins81perkins81
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_yall-helped-today-explain-someone-pre-planning-bsc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2281915-7f6e-4bd5-9d70-c8e2a5287a3bPost:7a17c693-8c51-4454-ab93-29020a246d43">Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Friendly FYI because this drives me crazy: it's y'all, not ya'll.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    Noted
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_yall-helped-today-explain-someone-pre-planning-bsc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2281915-7f6e-4bd5-9d70-c8e2a5287a3bPost:0bae11a9-13d3-40a9-aded-3ffc9767d50e">Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was hanging out with BF's friend and his GF the other night, and she said something about "maybe you'll find some beautiful wedding dresses to bring back with you from Vancouver." If I had been drinking a little more, I probably would have said something, but I don't really know her very well so I tried to behave. I bean dipped her instead of lecturing. In my head I was screaming "WTFBBQ?!?!" Why would I be looking for wedding dresses? BF and I are NEY, and it's not something we really plan on doing until I'm at least finished my degree. People are weird.
    Posted by SopChick[/QUOTE]

    <div>I've had this from a few friends back home, asking if we'll be having the wedding here in Vancouver or back home. *rolls eyes* Some people are just...special.</div><div>And YAY you're going to be out here soon!!</div>
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  • SopChickSopChick member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_yall-helped-today-explain-someone-pre-planning-bsc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2281915-7f6e-4bd5-9d70-c8e2a5287a3bPost:642edb8d-5f8b-4961-846b-3e5287d8b183">Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC! : I've had this from a few friends back home, asking if we'll be having the wedding here in Vancouver or back home. *rolls eyes* Some people are just...special. And YAY you're going to be out here soon!!
    Posted by kaitlynmichelle[/QUOTE]
    People have asked me if we're going to get married out there too... Not that it wouldn't be beautiful, but come on!

    (btw, YGPM)
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_yall-helped-today-explain-someone-pre-planning-bsc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2281915-7f6e-4bd5-9d70-c8e2a5287a3bPost:7cc0cd94-2216-49a4-a7ba-095499019f34">Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC! : Noted
    Posted by perkins81[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Much better.  Thank you!

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  • snorwo3snorwo3 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_yall-helped-today-explain-someone-pre-planning-bsc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c2281915-7f6e-4bd5-9d70-c8e2a5287a3bPost:0bae11a9-13d3-40a9-aded-3ffc9767d50e">Re: Ya'll helped me today!! Had to explain to someone why pre-planning is BSC!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was hanging out with BF's friend and his GF the other night, and she said something about "maybe you'll find some beautiful wedding dresses to bring back with you from Vancouver." If I had been drinking a little more, I probably would have said something, but I don't really know her very well so I tried to behave. I bean dipped her instead of lecturing. In my head I was screaming "WTFBBQ?!?!" Why would I be looking for wedding dresses? BF and I are NEY, and it's not something we really plan on doing until I'm at least finished my degree. People are weird.
    Posted by SopChick[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wow! And the dress of all things too. When I was in HS, I found a dress on sale at the beginning of the school year so I bought it to wear to prom. By the time prom came, I was horribly sick of the dress and not excited at all about it. I can't even imagine having a wedding gown for 2-3 years. </div><div>
    </div><div>We all have things we like, wedding related, and there's nothing wrong with that, but styles change and planning anything is just silly. I would be lying if I said I've never thought about my future wedding, because let's face it.. every single one of us are on this website for that reason. But I definitely agree with most of the ladies here that this intense planning should not even be thought about until you're engaged. People are insane.</div>
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  • misikesmisikes member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Some girls are too easily excitable, and I think the moment "maybes" and "somedays" are mentioned in regards to proposals and engagements, they want to get the ball rolling ASAP. Some guys need a little encouraging nudge, but most don't and are just getting all their "ducks in a row" (so to speak) before making any life-changing decisions.

    Unfortunately, a lot of girls feel the need to compete with other girls, and want to stand out from the "dating" crowd and be a part of the "I'm making big-girl decisions, be jealous" lot.

    The only decisions FI and I thought about and discussed seriously back when we were NEY was where we were going to live and where the wedding would be. (No, not street addresses or venues), but which STATE it would be in. FI's family lives in one state, and mine live in another. To us, that was something we had to agree on before we even THOUGHT of getting married. We are both very close to our families, so to go through the process of getting engaged, then arguing very defiantly on who was moving was a HUGE argument we wanted to avoid. We came to the agreement that we would move close to his family under the condition that the wedding took place closer to MY family. It was something we both 100% agreed on, and now we don't worry about it. We haven't really started planning yet (having only been engaged for less than a week), but now that we know that we're on the same page, we're just enjoying our engagement.

    tl;dr - Pre-planning is BSC, with a FEW exceptions. Looking at wedding dresses is NOT one of those exceptions. Undecided
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