His or Hers First

roseofdeborah · February 2012

So I'm getting so many conflicted views and my FI and my parents are going crazy over who's name is supposed to go first. For anything and everything. For our save the dates do you put Bride + Groom or other way, for addressing the envelopes one magazine said put Jane and John Doe when addressing lables....there's just so many names and apparently me putting my name first on the return address lables was a big NO....I guess I'm the only one that doesnt' care?

bells24412 · February 2012

I think I put my name first on ours, I just followed the template that the company had.

BmoreBride311 · February 2012

I started putting his name first, b/c that's just what I do when I talk to my friends "FI and I"... but then I finally realized for WR stuff, bride always goes first.

On addressing guests on envelopes and escort cards, usually put the male first, unless it's like a mother and her son or your friend and her BF (if you are only inviting the BF b/c you are close with the girl). I don't know if that's right, but that's how we're doing it.

owengirl996 · February 2012

I put mine first...ladies first? lol I'm with you and didn't really care, and neither did FI when I asked him.

penny12986 · February 2012

This link has some good tips.

http://www.elitecalligraphy.com/cms_content.php?cms_id=13

bridetobe71412 · February 2012

As far as who goes first, I'm not sure what the etiquette is on it, but I believe I've mostly put my name first for aesthetic reasons. His last name is longer and harder to pronounce, mine is easy.

I know when addressing envelopes, however, I remember reading that you're not supposed to break up the man's first and last names. So, for example, "Jane and John Doe" because John and Doe need to be adjacent.

Not sure that answers the question!

Elinetrouwt · February 2012

I heard that before marriage, the bride's name comes first, and after marriage, his name comes first. So on your invites etc. you should refer to yourselves as 'Roseofdeborah and FI', while you should address married couples as 'Uncle and Aunt Ofdeborah'.

Of course, no one will punish you for not following these rules.

Skyjewell23 · February 2012

What I have always been told is that before the wedding your name goes first. After the wedding his name goes first.

Hope that helped!

LADY324 · February 2012

I put my name first on everything but I was shocked b/c I usually thought it was the man first. But all of the samples in my invite book had the bride listed first.

roseofdeborah · February 2012

I think that's why I used my name first is because Vistaprint told me to...I blame them

Madisonpenny · February 2012

Anything that has to do with the B& G in North America, the brides name goes first and then the grooms.
When addressing envelopes for guests, formal is either "Mr and Mrs. J. Smith" or you can go "Mr. John Smith and family" or you can go 'Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Joan Smith" it's up to you and your preference.

MeaganR12 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_his-hers-first?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:2a5225f8-1a03-4a38-ba49-0bf0d4e4ab14Post:e04f65f5-b6a2-4666-8169-98ad8ac5e8fa">Re: His or Hers First</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that's why I used my name first is because Vistaprint told me to...I blame them
Posted by roseofdeborah[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Don't blame them, thank them. That's what etiquette instructs you to do.

</div>

theholograms · February 2012

I think the Bride's name goes first - at least that is what I've been doing!

When addressing (I believe this is correct):

Husband and Wife

Mr. and Mirs. John Smith

Couple living together but not married

Ms. Jane Doe

Mr. John Smith

Couple but not living together - name the friend you are close too first

Married but wife kept maiden name

Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith

Hope that helps!

MeaganR12 · February 2012

Schatzi- From everything I've read, I'm almost positive the only time a woman is in front is if they have a title. I know plenty of couples where the woman has a bachelor's while the husband has no degree but the husband is still always first.

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