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Unity Candle

Shtallionchick14Shtallionchick14
500 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
Hello,

I have never posted on here, but I have a question for my Catholic ceremony. We are planning on light a unity candle. Is the presentation of flowers to Mary a necessary part of the ceremony? Can this be together with the lighting of the Unity Candle? What part of the ceremony should each of these be in? Thanks so much for your answers, I am working on my programs and want to make sure everything flows. After these answers, I might post a copy of the program to see if you guys think it flows well. 

Thanks again!
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Re: Unity Candle

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A unity candle is not part of a Catholic marriage ceremony. Many priests won't allow it. It was invented on a soap opera... and is actually redundant to the Eucharist because the Eucharist IS the unity. It reduced the congregation from participants to spectators.

    The marian devotion is also not technically part of the marriage ceremony, however, it has more roots culturally and has some religious significance so it is more likely to be allowed.

    The placement will depend on where the priest/deacon wants them. Most put the unity candle immediately after the vows/rings (if they allow it) and the marian devotion towards the end...if at a mass it is after communion. If at a liturgy of the word, after the sign of peace.  
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  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My priest does not allow a unity candle and there is no presentation of flowers to Mary.  We aren't really sad about either of them not being in the ceremony. 
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  • catarntinacatarntina member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We had a unity candle, and we lit it right after the vows and exchange of rings.

    I did not do devotion to Mary, but sample programs I looked at from other couples married at our church had it done right after communion.  Best to check with your priest if those are acceptable places in the ceremony.
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are doing a unity candle as FI and his family are not Catholic, so they cannot participate in the Eucharist.  We are also doing it right after the vows/exchange of rings.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    About half of the weddings I've attended recently have had the unity candle.  M didn't want it at their wedding so the subject never came up.

    At the last one that I remember, the mothers lit the candles before the mass started.

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  • jesslovespetejesslovespete
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow really? The Church is PROVIDING us with a unity candle. We were told that the presentation to Mary is optional.
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  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_unity-candle-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:99d4e679-72dc-425f-b09b-4688533c79faPost:ab5f7552-c23f-4138-b54f-ed181bbed928">Re: Unity Candle</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow really? The Church is PROVIDING us with a unity candle. We were told that the presentation to Mary is optional.
    Posted by jesslovespete[/QUOTE]

    My priest isn't allowing it anymore and said if we absolutely had to have it, it can be done at the reception.  I was surprised as well. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We were not permitted to have a unity candle. It didn't bother me, though. The Catholic ceremony is beautiful just how it is.
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  • linzluvsgzusslinzluvsgzuss
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Like PP, unity candle isn't Catholic and the unity happens in the very Sacrament of Matrimony and then received again in the Eucharist so we're not having one. I haven't been to that many weddings, so I've never seen the Unity Candle. My friends who got married this summer presented flowers to Mary, I think, at the very end of Mass before the final blessing. It was very beautiful and FI and I are still talking about whether or not we'll do that.
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  • Hannah098Hannah098
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are also not allowed to do the unity candle at St Ignatius Loyola in Spring, TX.  The reason listed in the 20 page booklet of rules from the church is that "the unity candle is not part of the Catholic Church and is therefore, not allowed".  The priest who baptized me mentioned he does allow it at his church (he's in a different city) but said we should consider having it at the reception before saying the meal prayer if we really had our hearts set on it. 
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_unity-candle-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:99d4e679-72dc-425f-b09b-4688533c79faPost:c5cc5dd2-acbd-4e5b-a376-c0b8799d16cd">Re: Unity Candle</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are also not allowed to do the unity candle at St Ignatius Loyola in Spring, TX.  The reason listed in the 20 page booklet of rules from the church is that "the unity candle is not part of the Catholic Church and is therefore, not allowed".  The priest who baptized me mentioned he does allow it at his church (he's in a different city) but said we should consider having it at the reception before saying the meal prayer if we really had our hearts set on it. 
    Posted by Hannah098[/QUOTE]

    How funny, Hannah!  The last wedding I attended was at St. Ignatius Loyola in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts and that was the wedding I mentioned when the mothers lit the unity candle.  I'll have to check out St. Iggies in NYC
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  • _Dagney__Dagney_ member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We werent planning on having a unity candle, but my FMIL bought one for us. I don't want to hurt her feelings.  If the priest will allow it, we will use it during the ceremony.  If not, the idea of doing it at the reception is lovely.

    In fact, I might just want to do it there anyway.
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