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Black tie?

KellyRVTKellyRVT member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Ohio-Columbus
Anyone having a black tie wedding? I'm thinking about putting it on our invitations. It's not something that would be enforced of course, but it's definitely something I would like to encourage.

Thoughts? 
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Re: Black tie?

  • nnoble4nnoble4
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ours is formal....not necessarily Black Tie though. Our invitations look very formal, and on our website we wrote (under Guest Information): "The attire for the event will be formal. No jeans or t-shirts, but a tux is not required."
    Hopefully, that gets the point across well enough so people dress formally.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is considered rude to put dress requirements like that on your invites. Your guests are adults and can dress themselves. They should be able to tell from the formality of your invites as well as the venue what the appropriate dress would be. Just sayin...
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  • nnoble4nnoble4
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Missy -- I sort of agree, which is why I opted for the website. I think if it's truly black tie, you can get away with it though. At least, that's what I've seen through my research.

    Websites are great cause you can get away with attire and registry information hehe.
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  • lo99lo99
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Unless the majority of your guests actually own tuxedos, I would not recommend it.  Otherwise, it's just adding another expense for your guests.  Black tie optional would not bother me (men could just wear nice, dark suits if they don't own a tux), and it would get across that it's a formal wedding. 
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  • kiyamurphkiyamurph
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're having a true black tie wedding, but seeing as the economy is the way it is, I'm not going to turn people away for not wearing tuxes.  I put on our website that tuxedos are preferred, but that they can also wear dark colored suits.  
    @missysue, I kind of agree and kind of don't.  I put black tie in the lower corner of our invitations so guests can know for sure that it's black tie.  I think that you have to know your crowd and I know that most people don't know that you're supposed to be able to tell how formal an event is just based off an invitation.  I know that telling people what to wear isn't quite good "etiquette" but at the same token I just think that we're living in a different time and not everyone will pick up certain things based off of the invitation.  I think that me putting black tie in a small font in the right corner isn't a faux pas, but then again that's just me.  I could be wrong and I'm sure some etiquette people will disagree but oh well.  


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  • sherise40sherise40 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I also just put it on my wedding website.
    Instead of black tie I said cocktail attire so they dont think they need to wear a tux.
    I wouldnt put it on the invites though.
    -Sherise Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • MissOwlMissOwl
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'm with missy. any info about suggested dress should be on the website. even then, you should only say the basics like 'cocktail attire' or 'beach casual'. 
    Linky link to MissOwl's Pinterest Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • green795green795
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding was black-tie optional, and although I would have liked to put somewhere on the invites I knew it was a no-no. It is OK though to put it in a subtle place like on your reception card if you are have a true black tie wedding, I've heard. But I put it on our website, which I knew our friends not already in the WP would see. Our families always get pretty dressed up for weddings, cocktail attire at a minimum (and so do we), so we knew our families would be dressed appropriately for the formality of our wedding. But we knew not all the other guests, especially others our age, would normally dress up- so the website was the best way to display it. I also had people ask us and our immediate family about attire, so we told them. I always ask when not sure. Usually people get the hint with the time of day your reception is, or where the reception is, and how your invites look. But no matter how hard you suggest, you may still see people not as dressed up (we saw people in sundresses), and it's ok. It's not going to make a huge difference in the end.
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  • KellyRVTKellyRVT member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We have it on our website but I don't think it's realistic to assume everyone is going to look at our website before the wedding, especially the older crowd. I do agree with Kiyah in that I don't think it's a good idea to assume people are going to infer the manner of dress from an invitation's decor. Until I started planning my own wedding I had no idea that the invitations were supposed to suggest the formality of the occasion- it just wasn't something I had ever had to think about. Of course now it makes sense. 

    Thank you guys for your opinions and thoughts as always! :)




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