Bachelor/Stag Party Woe

julzy · August 2012

FI leaves tonight for Vegas for his bachelor party and I'm a wreck. Firsly, I hate being away from him for an extended period of time (he has a business trip as well so he'll be gone about a week.) Secondly, I'll admit I'm jealous that I can't be there. And thirdly, my FI is going to be wandering around Vegas which 13 of his guy friends, drunk as a skunk.... major eeek!

I trust him, I really do. It's other drunk girls in Vegas and his friends I don't necessarily trust. And part of me is nervous he'll get drunk and gamble away wedding money.

The whole thing is making me a nervous wreck. Sigh. How are you ladies copping with this stuff?

I've made plans with a few of my girl friends this weekend to keep me busy but I'm just so bummed right now...

valerahd · August 2012

so glad to hear I'm not the only worrier about this stuff... my FI wants to go a casino for a bachelor weekend about 3 hours from where we live. I am not worried one bit about cheating or anything like that but I do worry about his bad influence friends encouraging him to drink his face off them go gamble all of our money away. we're still working out details but we decided it will be a better idea in the long run to have my friends and I go too. we will book separate rooms but do a big group dinner and just having the girls nearby will keep the guys in check at the poker table... that't the goal anyway!

in your case just know that everything is going to be 100% fine and he will be jealous when you have your party too!

Ali092011 · August 2012

I would be a little nervous if FI were going far away for his bachelor party. As far as the money thing goes, maybe you two can talk before he leaves and decide what amount you can afford to lose, and have him only bring that amount (along with whatever he needs to feed himself, of course). I'm always afraid I'm "accidentally" going to gamble away all my money when I go to a casino, so I only carry with me the exact amount I can afford to lose if I lose it all, and I never go back to the ATM. (Oh, another thing you might want to do is see if he'll leave bank cards to accounts that have wedding money in them at home.)

When it comes to being worried about other drunk girls--just don't go there or you'll make yourself sick. Remember that he is marrying you and he wouldn't do anything to dishonor that promise. In fact, he's going to Vegas in celebration of the commitment he's about to make to you. You know you wouldn't let a drunk guy hitting on you be a temptation, so why would your FI let a drunk girl come between him and the woman he adores?

I completely understand the stress and worry, but don't forget how much he loves you and you will be fine.

goatlady12 · August 2012

I put my foot down and said. "No trips." I didn't want to be bridezilla but as far as wedding budget goes it didn't fit. I couldn't help but think about all the wedding expenses a trip away would cover.

shoebie · August 2012

I would take the money out of the account for the week so he cant gamble it away if that's your worry. I honestly dont see why people go away for bachleor / bachleorette parties its supposed to be one last fun night out before you get married not a continues weekend of strippers drinking and god knows what else. With that said if you and fi have no problems or a history of cheating I would not worry about it. Im sure hes aware of how much he loves you and you him and what it would compromise if he did anything to disrespect your relationship. If your that worried I would have a talk with him before he go's its Vegas you know there's going to be strippers but I would ask they go to a strip club and not have a stripper come to the room..... Good luck and good idea about making plans and staying busy for the weekend fi & I are doing ours same night so no one is home alone he's going to a gun range and bar and im doing comedy night and bar.

AEPerpete · August 2012

I think it's a great idea to hang out with friends, and keep your mind off what he may or may not be doing. This way, you're not worried, and you are having a fun time for yourself.

BrittneyRN · August 2012

I honestly wouldn't worry about some drunk girls trying to hit on him or anything. Plus, you say you trust him, so even if they would, you have nothing to worry about! I'm sure your fiancé is more responsible than to gamble away the wedding money, but I get worrying about little things like that.

KittennDave · August 2012

I would have similar worries, FI and I have talked though and I think he'll just go out golfing with the guys, dinner, something like that, but then again he's a bit older so the whole gamble/stripper thing doesn't do anything for him.

minionlover · August 2012

Have you talked to him about it? Maybe that will ease your mind. FI and I talked about this whole thing a while ago and we both agreed that there would be no bachelor/bachelorette parties. We don't believe in the "last night to go out and have fun", it shouldn't stop just because you are getting married.

NRod70 · August 2012

He loves you..don't worry about stupid drunk girls. As far as the money, if you're nervous he'll over-extend himself, limit his access to the money. Have him take only a certain amount of cash, take only one specific credit card or if he'll be using a debit card just have a set amount in the account he would have access to. This, of course, is coming from a girl who has her FI on an 'allowance' lol.

Let him go and have fun and you have a nice weekend with your girlfriends

julzy · August 2012

We've talked through everything and he's promised me no strippers, etc. I know he'll behave. It's a mix of emotions like I said. One is I get down everytime we're apart. He leaves tonight and won't be home for a week. He'll be a lot of miles away.... (we live in NYC.)

Also I guess in general I was hoping he didn't want something this big. I think my girlfriends and I are going to tour some wineries and rent a house for a weekend closer to the wedding... a little more lowkey.

I know my worries are silly. He's responsible and incredibly loyal. Rationally I know I have very little to worry about. But the emotional side of me doesnt want to get out of bed.

Meh. I'm pathetic!

NRod70 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_bachelorstag-party-woe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:65ab291e-ecea-42d1-be6a-8a28f5498e4bPost:4b77bc79-8fa0-48bd-b118-913e08109fd4">Re: Bachelor/Stag Party Woe</a>:
[QUOTE]We've talked through everything and he's promised me no strippers, etc. I know he'll behave. It's a mix of emotions like I said. One is I get down everytime we're apart. He leaves tonight and won't be home for a week. He'll be a lot of miles away.... (we live in NYC.) Also I guess in general I was hoping he didn't want something this big. I think my girlfriends and I are going to tour some wineries and rent a house for a weekend closer to the wedding... a little more lowkey. I know my worries are silly. <strong>He's responsible and incredibly loyal</strong>. Rationally I know I have very little to worry about. But the emotional side of me doesnt want to get out of bed. Meh. I'm pathetic!
Posted by julzy[/QUOTE]

Of course he is, that's why you're marrying him! And no, you're not pathetic! You just love your honey!

PaddysGirl8 · August 2012

My FH is going about 8 hrs away. I'm worried about him getting drunk and buying everyone and their mother round after round. He just gets like that when he is drunk, annoying. So he will have cash and a groomsmen that we trust will have his debit card in case of emergencies. He's fine with it. I took cash to mine but I am better at not using my debit card.

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