Pre-wedding Parties

oh fudge. work shower in the works

I've just caught wind that my boss & coworkers are planning a shower for me. I'm having a smaller wedding out of town; zero coworkers are invited. I believe all are aware of this. In general, showers & opening gifts in front of others make me somewhat uncomfortable, but I am having one.

My coworkers are all very nice people but we are in no way close. I am quite private about my life in the office bc it's a small, gossipy environment. (Fiance worked at same office until a few mos ago.) I know they're trying to do something nice, but it's going to make me uncomfortable since they aren't invited to the wedding and I'll mostly feel indebted...which I hate. Did I mention that I almost never participate in school/church/family/etc fundraisers they pass around everyday?

I was really hoping to avoid this altogether by keeping silent on the wedding subject, but as the date draws nearer this seems harder to do as everyone keeps bringing it up. Sigh. With all that said, I will feel rude and mean declining their generous efforts. Anyone else experience something like this? I don't want to seem ungrateful, but this is not my cup of tea.

Re: oh fudge. work shower in the works

  • edited December 2011
    Work showers are the exception to the rule that guests at pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding.  Be gracious and thank them for doing it for you, and don't feel guilty.

    Or you can decline, but I probably wouldn't.
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  • edited December 2011
    My co-workers did the same for me, though we had a family-only (and friends we considered family) wedding.  I was really touched with their thoughtfulness and generosity, and all of them knew from the beginning that we were restricted on our guest list.

    There's nothing to feel guilty about, just enjoy the party :)
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