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RSVP Reminder... yay or nay?

chanelnjustinchanelnjustin
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have had 32 out of 132 people RSVP so far and the RSVPs are due in two weeks... is it inappropriate to send out an reminder FB message or email to have the guest RSVP by the due date. After the requested date I do plan on having my MOH call the guests who hasn't RSVPd and get a confirmation from them. I just feel like this is a larger number or is this typical?

Thanks!
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Re: RSVP Reminder... yay or nay?

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Ditto Stage.  It's very typical.  Don't nag your guests.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    They still have a couple weeks. Once it's been a few days past the due date (to allowfor mail time), start calling people. Your MOH should not be doing this; it's your responsibility. Have your FI help you.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Please do not "remind" people to send back RSVPs. Some people will send them back, and some won't, but a reminder is rude, and won't really help those who weren't going to send it back anyway (and insults those who weren't going to forget in the first place).
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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Please DO NOT have your MOH call for RSVPs.  The only ones who should call for RSVPs are the hosts of the wedding or anyone who had a hand in creating the guest list (you, FI, your parents for the people they chose to invite).  Not only is that a lot of work that you shouldn't foist on the MOH, it's incredibly awkward for guests to get a call from someone they may not even know regarding their RSVP. 

    No reminders either; trust me....tons of RSVPs will trickle in as the due date gets closer.
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  • direy25direy25 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-reminder-yay-or-nay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:359ca8d0-e1ac-424c-b098-971c65eb129fPost:af4080dd-a912-4049-abe5-83dc647ebd82">Re: RSVP Reminder... yay or nay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please DO NOT have your MOH call for RSVPs.  The only ones who should call for RSVPs are the hosts of the wedding or anyone who had a hand in creating the guest list (you, FI, your parents for the people they chose to invite).  Not only is that a lot of work that you shouldn't foist on the MOH, it's incredibly awkward for guests to get a call from someone they may not even know regarding their RSVP.  No reminders either; trust me....tons of RSVPs will trickle in as the due date gets closer.
    Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]
    All of this.  And why would you think it's appropriate to have your MOH do the calls?
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  • spudshirleyspudshirley member
    First Comment
    For me, personally, I can't stand when someone calls me to ask if we are coming BEFORE the RSVP is due.  All I think to myself is, "Why did you give me an RSVP date if you're just going to call to ask if I'm coming before the due date anyway?"

    Like everyone else said, give it a couple of days after the RSVP date to start making calls.  I bet the RSVPs will start flowing in within the next two weeks.  We, unfortunately, live in a world of people doing everything last minute!
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Why are you having your MOH call?  That is so strange to me--I would be so weirded out if a total stranger called me instead of you or FI.  And its so rude to bug people prior to the deadline--you might as well not have one if a reminder is required.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    No reminders.  We got probably close to half of our RSVP's in the last few days, and another few in the few days after the due date.  

    Your MOH has no business making these calls for you.  Following up on missing RSVP's is something for you, your FI, and maybe your parents to handle depending on the relationship of the person you're following up with.
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  • willywally5willywally5 member
    First Comment
    Wait until a few days after due date. Today was due date for DD's wedding and we got nine in the mail just today. I'm sure there will be more on Monday and even Tuesday. And then DD, her FI and I will be contacting the non-responders. It sucks to wait, but you just have to do it. It's part of being a good host. 
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2012
    You have two weeks.  Why the rush?  People have plenty of time to get back to you.

    And it's no one's responsibility to call these people (later) but yours and your FI (and possibly your parents).  You're out of line to ask your MOH to do any of this for you.  Your wedding, your problem.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Breathe and relax.  Honestly, I'm not sure anything is typical ... except there will be late responders.  Wait until a week or 10 days after the stated response date, then make phone calls. 

    It would not be out of the norm (based on what I've read on the boards) for you to need to reach out to about 10% of your guest list two weeks after the response date.
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  • bellasmomma716bellasmomma716
    First Comment
    I gotta agree, just wait it out. And yeah I'd like maybe split the list - those that are in his family, have him and like his mom call and for in yours, you and your mom.
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  • katiebo1013katiebo1013
    First Comment
    Ya, you def dont want to send a reminder out prior to your RSVP date, however, I'd say 5- 1 week after it is definatly appropriate to ask your guests. I got a lot of people message me via facebook to say they lost their rsvp but will be attending. I dont think its takcy to use fb, its just how we communticate these days- not that I would ever send out the wedding invites though an event page lol (i have heard of this happening)
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  • 0kristaschmidt00kristaschmidt0 member
    First Comment
    I don't understand the mentality of getting offended that somebody has reminded you to RSVP. I think you should be able to do whatever you want and if people get offended that's their problem for being offended. All you're trying to do is get an accurate head count, it's entirely reasonable for you to remind invitees to RSVP. If you want to send RSVP reminders 2 weeks before, after or any time in between, you should do that without worrying what others will think... because it doesn't matter.
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  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    @0kristaschmidt0 this thread is from over a year ago, just FYI.
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  • 0kristaschmidt00kristaschmidt0 member
    First Comment
    my point is valid and timeless
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  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    0kristaschmidt0 said:
    I don't understand the mentality of getting offended that somebody has reminded you to RSVP. I think you should be able to do whatever you want and if people get offended that's their problem for being offended. All you're trying to do is get an accurate head count, it's entirely reasonable for you to remind invitees to RSVP. If you want to send RSVP reminders 2 weeks before, after or any time in between, you should do that without worrying what others will think... because it doesn't matter.
    I would be offended if someone reminded me to RSVP because I am an adult and am fully capable of reading a wedding invitation and RSVP card. 

    The couple in question who decide to remind me two weeks before the date they've asked me to reply by would be supremely annoying because if they wanted RSVPs sooner they should have put an earlier date.
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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    misshart00 said:


    0kristaschmidt0 said:

    my point is valid and timeless




    Your point is obnoxious.

     

    How did you even find this thread? I'm always curious when people pull up zombie threads just to argue.

    Thank God you're back.

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    Previously Alaynajuliana


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