Holidays.

[Deleted User] · March 2011

I wasn't sure where to post this.

This summer will be 4 years i've been with my fiance. We both celebrate christmas. The past 3 have been with his family. I told him that once we get married we should alternate holidays. [thanksgiving and christmas] I feel it would be fare. He isn't too happy about it and doesn't 100% agree with it, and still hasn't told his family because they will FREAK on him. [his sister lectured him about how people have family who travel just to visit family on xmas (she lives 20 mins from him so i dont see where that's coming from) when he brought up an idea of spending xmas alone just me and him and kids(when we have them)].

I told him I thought it was fair because what happes when my sister gets married and has kids-I wont be able to see them on xmas or spend the holiday with them! I didnt think that was fair and I wouldnt want to miss that. Also when we have kids I feel it would be best for them to alternate xmas with families so they would still both sides. [we would do thanksgiving and xmas eve one family and xmas the other..every year switch & the other holidays discuss after]

Also- I feel pretty bad to leave my parents and sister alone on xmas. My sister isn't married, and doesnt have kids.
His family is his parents , a sister, a brother, another sister/BIL w/2 nephews.

My familys so small. So they really are alone. His family isn't. So I feel bad. My dad says he doesnt care, but I'm sure deep down he does. I can tell when we talk. because me and my dad and super close.

I was just wonder, am I wrong? What other things could we try?

What do you& your husband/fiance do?

kbroth01 · April 2011

I've run into this problem with my FI. What bugs me, is that we see his family at least once a week as it is. He has a very close family, every Thursday night they meet at a local bar and grill just to hang out with the family. And then Every Sunday we usually have brunch.
What bugs me, is that my family isn't as close as his, and I really only get to see them on Holidays. We dated for 6 1/2 years before we got engaged, and we still agrue about which family we will spend the holidays with. but we got many years to work it out. It just bugs me too, that I don't get to see my family as much as I see his.

jemmini6 · April 2011

My family is local and his lives about 3 hours away, so we usually try to see them both for the holidays. The past 2 years, his uncle who lives locally has hosted Thanksgiving and his parents came up here. The first year we had dinner with his family and dessert with mine, then last year we had dinner with my family and dessert with his.

For Christmas, we've been going to his family's house on Christmas Eve, spend the night and Christmas morning with them, then drive 3 hours back here to do Christmas dinner with my family. It works for now, but when we have kids, it's important to me that they have the traditional Christmas morning, so we will be doing at least that at our house and we'll work out time between our two families afterwards.

Holidays.

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