Jeesh, Don't crunch numbers.

krayzeechick05 · March 2011

I just added up the amont of what I spent on a friends wedding...Over $600. I'm so not happy about that. I don't think I'm ever going to let someone use both my kids in a wedding and me the MOH again.

I needed to vent that somewhere.

Cassandra999 · March 2011

Yeah same thing. I spent about $700 on just being a bridesmaid a couple years ago.... really makes me think about what we are doing to our wedding party : /

Edit: I was adding the dress, shoes, throwing shower and bachelorette party, and some of the traveling
actually her mom picked up the hair and nails for all of us. That was a very nice suprise.

[Deleted User] · March 2011

I have actually never been in a wedding, but know they can get expensive. Very few of our friends are married. And none of our siblings are married. We were the first ones.

CLECyclist · March 2011

My coordinator said when you agree to be in a wedding, it's usually a 1,000 dollar investment. Wow. I've never been in one before, don't know that I would after reading this!!

krayzeechick05 · March 2011

Yeah, I won't. She knows I'm financially strapped as well, and she picks up the most expensive stuff. Since when did hair, dress, shoes get so expensive? And it doesn't help they have to wear seperate dressy clothes for the rehersal. Glad I kept the receipts to everything though!

nnoble4 · March 2011

Wow...that's crazy. I've only been in my sister's, and well, my mom paid for everything for me (lucky me, I know! I was still in college).

I've been trying soooo hard to keep the costs down for my girls. And, we only have a small BP. I actually felt bad asking about getting shoes (gray dress, none of them wanted to wear black shoes), and I'm hoping to be able to provide hair for free for them (two ladies in my family are hair stylists!) I've been very vocal with them in trying to get their opinions before making $ decisions.

gcbuckeye2 · March 2011

wow that is crazy! I am definitely not making my girls spend that much. Just the cost of their dress ($120) and their hair and makeup only if they want it. I think most are doing hair, but only 1 or 2 are doing the makeup.

beckilee37 · March 2011

Wow that is a little crazy! I am having my girls buy there own dresses, and while I haven't picked one out yet, I am looking to keep it below $200, like $150 hopefully. I am also paying for them to get their hair done. I suppose the hotel stay the night of the wedding will probably be $150 or so as well. I can't believe stats say they should spend $1000! I find that to be a little ridiculous. I was in a friend's wedding, and I spent almost $200 on the dress, $60 on hair, and $23 on nails and that was it!

kiyamurph · March 2011

I know it can get crazy, especially if you have to travel far. I was just in a friend's wedding this past October and her wedding was in Austin, TX. Both FI and I went and luckily I had enough frequent flier points for my ticket, but FI paid full price for his. Then you also add in the hotel and shoe costs and all that crap just adds right up. What pissed me off though was that the dress she chose was by Amsale, so it cost almost $300! She's a lawyer, but it really pissed me off that she didn't ask any of us what we were comfortable paying and it's not as though all of us have a lawyer's salary. She thought that $300 was actually a reasonable price. Sorry, not in my book. But of course I sucked it up and didn't complain because at the end of the day she's my friend.

After that experience, I refused to have my BMs pay anything near $200 and had them pick their own dresses, as long as it was black, floor length, and chiffon (they had tons to choose from). I'm also not making them wear a certain shoe or anything because you more than likely won't even see them since their dresses are long. It truly is a commitment to be in someone's wedding.

RNM 2008 · March 2011

Not to mention you need to buy them a wedding gift too!

krayzeechick05 · March 2011

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we had choices, but she "requires" has to have certain things and isn't willing to help pay for any of it. I have a little long than bob style hair and was just going to do it myself but she didn't approve. It needs to be professionally done. Plus my daughter has natural straight blonde hair, it'd be pretty down with her hair band, but nope she wants curls and those have to be professionally done too. Then I mention I'm not doing my nails because for one I don't want to mess up my nails and can't afford the upkeep, but she wants them done.

Very frustrating, and I have a long wire of patients but she's coming to the end. One thing she did agree to pay is my sons tux, which I now think she's going to dump back on me (which I didn't plan for because she agreed to pay for it) So that'll bump my total to almost $800.

nnoble4 · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_jeesh-dont-crunch-numbers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:227eaa48-d26d-4086-b8ac-fcabc8f9ea94Post:1fbce3c9-5a62-49cc-b012-50b4560b675d">Re: Jeesh, Don't crunch numbers.</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we had choices, but she "requires" has to have certain things and isn't willing to help pay for any of it. I have a little long than bob style hair and was just going to do it myself but she didn't approve. It needs to be professionally done. Plus my daughter has natural straight blonde hair, it'd be pretty down with her hair band, but nope she wants curls and those have to be professionally done too. <strong>Then I mention I'm not doing my nails because for one I don't want to mess up my nails and can't afford the upkeep, but she wants them done.</strong> Very frustrating, and I have a long wire of patients but she's coming to the end. One thing she did agree to pay is my sons tux, which I now think she's going to dump back on me (which I didn't plan for because she agreed to pay for it) So that'll bump my total to almost $800.
Posted by krayzeechick05[/QUOTE]

Does she expect you to get fake nails done?! I would put my foot down on that one and say, I'll get a basic mani, but I will not be putting fake nails on. If it's not something you want to do, that actually damages your nails and isn't just something that's easily changed out of afterwards.

jnkreager · March 2011

I know how you feel! I recently had to decline to be in a DW because I simply couldn't afford it. (Poor grad student here!) I felt awful but I really did not have $1000 + dollars!

I fell in love with dresses from White House Black Market, but they were $168, and I did not want to make my girls pay that much. Luckily, I found a coupon online for 25% off so they were able to get them at a great price! I am paying for shoes, hair and jewelry...but even with that covered, I know it adds up for my BMs. $100 for bachellerette party, $125ish for dress, throwing the shower, plus gifts!... :-/

soontobemrs2 · March 2011

Did it once and am NEVER doing it again. Cost me a fortune.
SoI learend from the experience and when I was planng my own wedding I was very cost conscious about everything to do with MOH and bridesmaids

clearheavens · March 2011

That's why we know better as we're planning our own wedding not to put our own WP through all that.

I tried my best to let them have flexibility on hair, makeup, shoes. I just chose dress color, length, and manufacturer and they chose style. I also insisted on not having a bridal shower. I figured, if I want to bond with my girls, I rather do a bridesmaid luncheon instead.

PolarBearFans · April 2011

Yep, I am in two weddings this year and i am trying not to think of how much i have already spent and will be spending. I am traveling for both.

I tried to keep expenses down for my girls. I bought their dress and shoes and gave them the option of using a makeup artist i had at the hotel (they all did) and whatever they wanted with their hair (1 had it professionally done). I didn't even think about jewelry but they all looked very pretty with what they wore. All my bridal party had to travel and it wasn't a cheap hotel stay, so i felt comfortable how we did things. Originally the dresses i wanted were $200 and i feel like a dress should be $100 for one time use, so i planned on paying $100 to bring the cost down. When i found dresses that were even better for $100 I just bought them all. I work retail, so i got an amazing deal on the shoes. So about $130 total for each girl. I spent about $30 on non-wedding related gifts to thank them (again using my great discout to bring down cost).

I would just remember this feeling for your own wedding when you are trying to decide how the bridal party will look

megandmike2011 · April 2011

I have easily spent at least $1000 for each wedding I've been in (5 so far). Dress, shoes, bridal shower gift, hosting bachelorette party, travel, hotel, wedding present---and then hair and make-up if you have to pay for it. I am trying to be reasonable with mine--dress is $250, but they can wear whatever shoes they want and can get hair/make-up if they want, but not required by me. However, with traveling and gifts I am sure it will still be expensive for most of my BMs. It is a good thing to have great friends--otherwise wedding season would just be overwhelming

Jeesh, Don't crunch numbers.

Re: Jeesh, Don't crunch numbers.

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