August 2013 Weddings

Advice Needed

So I have found myself in somewhat of a sticky situation and I'm not sure what the best way to move forward is, here's the backstory (get a glass of wine, this is a long one): 

I asked a minister that I knew from middle/high school at my parent's church to officiate our wedding sometime back in the fall (the ceremony is outdoors at the reception site). This particular minister is not at the church my partents attend any more but he is still in the same town. We originally spoke over the phone and he seemed very excited to be a part of our wedding. He requested to meet with my fiance and I a few times in person before the wedding. Well my fiance lives about an hour from there and I live about 3 hours away, so we set up a specifc time to meet with the minister when we would both be in town in October. We went to the coffee shop that we had agreed to meet the minister at on a Sunday afternoon and waited for a while, but he never showed. I called his cell phone a few times and he finally answered and said that he had fallen asleep and he would need to reschedule. We were pretty annoyed because we had made this trip specifically to meet with him, but I figured it was out of character for him, and we agreed to get back in touch next time we were in town. He texted me a couple of weeks ago just to check in and told us to let him know when we would be there next. Well we finally were able to work out a day in March that we would both be there, so I texted him this past Sunday and asked if he was available that date. When he hadn't texted back by yesterday, I told my fiance that I would send him one more text and if I didn't hear anything by today then I was going to ask a different minister from my parents church. Well I never heard anything back, so I went ahead and contacted someone else today, but I had to leave a voicemail so I don't know for sure if they are available. Just a few hours after I had contacted the second minister, I get a text back from our original saying that he can meet in March. 

Now I don't know what to do. Our original minister seems a bit unreliable and that is the last thing I need to be worrying about on the wedding day. So my questions is, how do you dump your officiant?! 
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Re: Advice Needed

  • Ohh that is a sticky situation, but I can see why you would want to get rid of your first officiant. There are numerious red flags saying he is unreliable. I would call him and just explain that you have decided to go with someone else and your sorry that you couldn't make things work with him. Be respectful and poliet and he should understand.


    "FI and I have given a lot of thought to our ceremony, and we are going to go in a different direction. We really appreciate and thank you for your willingness to marry us, but it seems like it would be best if we chose a different officiant. Thanks again for the time you spent talking with us."


    Good Luck & I hope the second officiant works out for you two.
  • Thanks for the advice!
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  • RailWay's wording is perfect. That kind of thing is so hard, but it sounds like you're making the right choice. I can't believe he slept through your meeting!
  • I would go with your second minister. The first one sounds a bit too unreliable for me. Go with railways wording!
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  • You really don't need the stress of an unreliable/unreachable officiant. Weddings are stressful enough! I can't even fathom SLEEPING through a meeting like that.
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  • yah i agree, go with the second one
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