Moms and Maids

16 month old flower girl?

I want to include my 16 month old niece in my wedding.  I have came up with a couple options.  But first, here are some details:

I want to include my niece (16 months old) and fiancee's niece (6 years old).  We have a VERY short aisle to walk down and VERY limited space to stand so we do not plan to make them stand with us during the ceremony. I want them to walk together so the older one can hold hands with the younger one.  One issue that I am facing is what can they can do one handed (since they will be holding hands) and what can they do once they get to the end of the aisle.  Here are the things I came up with:

1) Walk down the aisle holding hands and carrying baskets or kissing balls. But what do they do once they get to the end of the aisle? And how do they make it back to their mothers? 

2) Walk down the aisle ringing bells, but we will have music playing.

3) Walk down the aisle holding a flower and then they give the flowers to their grandmothers (bride and groom's mothers) and then they go and sit with their mothers. 

I do not expect this to go smoothly. lol I just want them in the wedding. 

Thoughts or suggestions? 


Re: 16 month old flower girl?

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I like the third option I think it would be cute. and its good you don't expect things to go smoothly (cuz they probably wont but it usually ends up being super cute anyway) for example I was at a wedding where the flower girl walked down the whole aisle forgetting to throw any flowers and when she got to the end she realized it so she just threw them all out at the end of the aisle. It was so funny and made a good story.

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My rule of thumb is that unless someone can use words to tell you why they're in a wedding, what their role is, and navigate the aisle on their own,  they shouldn't be in a WP.

    She won't remember being in the wedding, and won't care whether she's in it or not.  I just don't see the point personally.  A 16 month old is not going to be able to follow any of the directions:  give a flower to grandma.  Walk down the aisle and then walk to least not without adult guidance.

    I'd just have her sit with her mommy, or grandma, or whomever, and then make sure you have an adorable picture taken with her at some point.

    But if you feel compelled to include her, please don't do the second option.  Bell ringing over and above the music playing is just annoying.

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    I'm sort of with Trix.  A 16-month-old child is a baby.  I understand that you may want to incorporate her but you can bet your bottom dollar that she'll freak out and never make it down the aisle.  I'd say skip it.  It's a nice thought but it's not gonna work out.
    BabyFruit Ticker If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. Even if we're apart i'll always be with you. - A.A. Milne
  • edited December 2011

    Like I said, I'm not expecting it to work out.  I'm not debating on IF she should be in the wedding only what can she do in the wedding.  The 6 year old will be able to lead her down the aisle.  It is only five rows of chairs.  My wedding is only immediate family and friends.  So I am just asking for suggestions on what I could have them do or carry.  Thanks

  • edited December 2011

    My flower girls are 2 and 1 1/2.  I know they probably won't remember anything, nor will they probably make it down the aisle, but I'm okay with that.  I know we'll probably end up laughing how everything turns out but it will be worth it!

  • edited December 2011

    i think its very cute to include your niece whether she remembers it or not she is an important part of your life....even if something goes wrong it will be cute cause of her age! My florist is making a little princess wand decorated with flowers for my flower girl, I think that would work for u too...GOOD LUCK!!!! : )
  • edited December 2011
    As long as you are ok with whatever happens...the third idea sounds lovely.  The 6 year old s
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • edited December 2011
    1 or 3.  Have their mothers seated at the front of the church.

    My daughter is 16 months...I can't even begin to imagine if she would walk down the aisle or not.  Sounds like you're okay with this though.  Just go with the flow, and it's okay if she won't cooperate on the day of the wedding.
    Kate ~ Mommy to Matthew 3/29/07 & Kylie 12/30/08 & Chase 3/31/11
  • kari316kari316 member
    edited December 2011

    We had my 4-yr-old cousin & she almost didn't make it down the aisle.  The only thing I've seen work is to have her mom or dad waiting at the front with a toy or candy to get her to come to them.  But be prepared for her to not want to do it, stop in the middle and freak out, etc.  Just have a backup plan and move on if it doesn't work out.  It can be very entertaining - a few yrs before the same kid had a hysterical flower girl performance.  But it can also go downhilll so just try not to make a big deal of it if she chickens out.

  • kari316kari316 member
    edited December 2011
    ps just want to note that at our rehearsal she chickened out and wouldn't do it so I didn't have high hopes, but on the wedding day she was ready to go and happily walked down without any problems.
  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    edited December 2011
    Not entirely helpful, here, but my niece is 16 months old now, and she still can't walk more than a few steps without face-planting. Also, sometimes she holds things like it's going to disappear forever if she puts it down, other times, you put something in her hand and before you blink it goes sailing across the room. So, she might not "give up" the flower she's supposed to give to Grandma, or she might not take 2 steps without deciding it's not coming down the aisle with her.

    If you're going to do any of these, please skip the bells, because that's kind of obnoxious. The other 2 sound cute ... but I still think the baby is too young to be doing this.

    I'm really not trying to rain on your parade here, I understand you want to include you're niece and I know you're saying you don't expect perfection ... but as somebody who currently spends a lot of time with a 16-month old (And I love my niece more than life itself), you just might want to take these things into account before committing to doing this.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • tommyandytommyandy member
    edited December 2011
    Can the 6 year old pull her in a wagon?
  • orangejuliusorangejulius member
    edited December 2011
    I second the wagon idea, and here's why...

    My daughter is 20 months and won't let me or her father (or anyone) hold her hand and walk. Toddlers have a mind of their own. Also, 16 months is still a little wobbly on the walking to begin with. We're having our 20-month-old in our wedding next April (she'll be 2 1/2 by then) and hoping she'll be able to hold the ring barer's hand by then and focus, but with these things you just never know! Good luck, it will be really cute! The third idea sounds really sweet.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I, too, am having a very young flower girl so I'm not going to tell you it's a bad idea. You know her and none of us do, so if you have confidence then I say go for it. I like the idea of both girls holding flowers and giving them to the grandmas. I do think that her mom needs to be sitting next to grandma if possible so that she can see her as she walks down the aisle. In my case, I am mom, so she can just walk to
  • edited December 2011
    I like the wagon idea or the hand holding idea. My niece-to-be is going to be about the same age when we get married. My cousin (our 2nd FG) will be 6. The 6 year old is adorable, she is so excited about being in the wedding... it consumes her, moreso than some of my bridesmaids! HA! When you put the 2 together, sometimes the younger one will attach to the older one... they may hold hands and walk together very easily. Lauren (6y/o) is so excited to hold hands with Clara (2 y/o). They'll sit with family after the fact.

    It's great to expect the unexpected when incorporating little ones... if it means a lot to you and you embrace the whole "come what may" attitude... it'll be cute either way it goes.

    I also have 2 ring bearers- (6 and 5)  at their baby sisters christening the 5 y/o was pretending he was an airplane... it was the funniest thing in the world.

    I take getting married very seriously but I don't need anything to be perfect... and more than that I don't expect to. So, if you have those sentiments go for it... if you go with a wagon though... my only thought is what if the baby falls out, climbs out,  etc. I almost did the wagon too... then I decided against it.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for the feedback.  I thought of the wagon, but I know she will not stay seated.  Plus, our aisle is only 5 rows of chairs.  So they do not have very far to go.  My niece has been walking since 10 months old so she is actually droing really well.  My mother babysits her so I do not think it will be a problem for my niece to walk to her.  If she doesn't give my mom the flower or walk down the aisle like she supposed won't be the end of the world.  I won't even be in there to know!  lol  I think we have decided to go with the two girls giving the grandmothers a rose.  It gives them a purpose and something to do at the end of the aisle.  The important thing at this wedding is our marriage.  Everything else is just pretty and fun.  So if something does go how it should it's ok...we will still be married.  Thanks again!
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