September 2012 Weddings

Does your FI screw up wedding plans?

So my FI is pretty stressed at the moment.  I'm doing the majority of wedding planning though he weighs in on every decisions and gets "assignments" from time to time.  Two of those tasks were to order the groomsman gifts and order the suits.  Both arrived late last week and there were problems with both!

The gifts were grill sets with a monogrammed case, but FI didn't know that the last name initial goes in the middle and of course didn't read the directions (there were three boxes clearly labeled, first name, last name, middle name).  Honestly, I laughed at him, and it's okay.  Whenever someone asks the GM why their initials are wrong they can tell a funny story about FI.

The suits were custom made via some website in Asia.  FI totally screwed up his measurements.  I think he can have the jacket and vest tailored a little, but the pants totally have to be reordered.  Fortunately we are ahead of schedule so he has time... but he was really pissed at himself and keeps making comments about it.  I'll admit, that I am annoyed with this mistake (he didn't measure his waist, just wrote his jean size!) but he's beating himself up enough that I don't need to say anything.

I joke that he does it on purpose so I don't give him more to do.  But has your FI messed up anything wedding related?

Re: Does your FI screw up wedding plans?

  • Nothing like that......... yet! Although its sad to say i don't think i would let my FI order that stuff! LOL ooo but HEY I'm getting married 9-29-12 and my FI hasn't even asked his last GM! I'm afraid by the time he asks he will say he can't, it will be too late and we will be short one GM. LOL

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  • He hasn't messed anything up so much as is procrastintaing a few things.  We only have four of his six GM gifts purchased.  He hasn't even come up with an idea for the other two.  Every idea I suggest he shoots down but that's because I'm throwing out generic ideas because I am not close with these last two GM.

    Second thing he is procrastinating is the music.  A DJ was out of the budget for us so he said he'd take care of it.  We need some songs edited and don't have the money to buy the editing software right now.  Our neighbor/long time family friend has DJ equipment and is home for the summer.  He has still yet to ask him if he can borrow his stuff or help us out so this can get done before he returns to school soon.  I also asked FI to make playlists understanding you can really only do classics/oldies this far out because you don't know what will be popular in September.  I wanted that part done so we could just insert popular songs once they are out and it hasn't been done.
  • FI hasn't really screwed anything up, he's just really slow about getting things done! The only major issue we've had is I brought up the idea that I wanted my brothers to be GMs last month and he thinks that's too "last minute" and doesn't want the numbers of BMs/ GMs to be uneven. That's the only thing he's done/ we've disagreed on that's really irked me. Otherwise he's really tried to be helpful and we've made most decisions together. 
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  • egm900egm900 member
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    FI just doesn't do his assigned tasks until waaay after I asked for them to be done.  For example, he was supposed to get the addresses for his side of the guest list.  He did great with the ones he could get from his mom, but he didn't even start on those until a couple weeks after the date I told him we needed them by.  

    His college friends, not so much.  So far, I've gotten all of them, either through one of his friend's wives (they just got married, so she sent me what she had) or via Facebook of the ones I'm friends with.  We're down to about 5, but I've only met them once if at all, and I'm not comfortable messaging them.


  • The only thing that FI was annoying with was getting addresses. Other than that, I am very happy to say that he does anything and everything and sometimes I don't even have to ask. The only thing he hasn't done yet is get their guys their gifts and I know he won't do that until the week before with how he is lol. I'm pretty impressed considering we've been moving, planning, and I got a new job all at the same time. He's seriously handled it like a champ.
  • rsreesersreese member
    100 Comments
    edited June 2012
    FI has really nice handwriting and really wanted to help address the invitation envelopes. He made so many mistakes on them! I had to redo a bunch of the envelopes. I was glad he wanted to help but we really didn't have the extra envelopes to spare. As PP's have said, getting addresses from FI has been a nightmare. I've been asking for them since January. Its June. Last night I told him I am mailing all of the invitations on Saturday and any people I don't have addresses for will not get one because I'm not touching another invitation after Saturday.
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  • Same as PP's. I need addresses for his side... I finally just asked his brother's wife, since they just got married two years ago. But I still have to call the FMIL and verify that they're correct.
    Other than that FI's been wonderful. He is really chill about everything, which is good cuz I tend to get a little frazzled... Embarassed
  • My FI hasn't screwed anything up at all in fact he has been a major help to me.  I am stationed in England with the Air Force and have had to do a lot of planning long distance and online.  My FI is back in Arizona where the wedding will be and has helped me so much.  He has met with all of the vendors and has done everything I have asked him to do in a timely manner.  He went with my Mom to order our flowers but all the rest he has done on his own.  Two weeks ago he ordered our cake, ordered our wedding bands, and got fitted for his tux.  Last week he met with the caterer and planned out the menu for the reception.  Everything he does he consults with me first so I can tell him what I would like and give him my opinion on things.  We are both working on the song list for the DJ.  The only things we have left to do now are meet with our officiant, the DJ, and order the wine and beer for the reception.  My FI has been a life saver he does everything without complaint I couldn't do it without him.  He is the best FI in the whole world I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have such an amazing man in my life.  I can't wait to walk down the aile and marry my best friend.Smile
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  • FI doesn't do anything wedding related unless we sit down and do it together.  I've assigned him a few tasks, but I clearly state what I'm expecting.  He asked me to be VERY clear about things cause he doesn't want to screw them up.

    The only really bothersome thing is that he still hasn't told me if he wants some of his friends at the wedding.  Their numbers are accounted for, but right now he's saying no cause he doesn't trust them to not be completely vile around his and my family.  Also, he's pretty pissed at a couple of them.  But every time I ask for a final decision on whether they're coming, he waffles.  Unfortunately, I can't really have any part of this decision, because I don't want to be the one to tell him his friends aren't invited.  I also don't want to be the one responsible for inviting them if they get drunk and start throwing glass bottles at people (as I've seen from experience).

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  • I'm in the car with FI and just giggled as I read this. He was great with getting addresses, but definately will get some supervision on further tasks! There are lots of things left to do though so I do need his help.
  • My FI was out to sea for 4 1/2 months!  He JUST got back on Friday night (YAY!).  

    He has been very helpful in some aspects, has had a lot of opinions:  He decided we should get married in a church with a mass (we're doing the express version), he's decided to buy a tux, he picked quite a few key decisions here.

    All the grunt gross work has prettymuch been me.  The budgeting, planning, etc. has been my thing.  It sorta drove me crazy for a while but on the other hand, it kept me sane while he was gone for so long.

    On the bright side, my FI has been very willing to take a few things over now that he's back.  The best thing he has done so far is to tell his parents who I love but can be kind of particular... and a little weird with costs... that wherever they think think the rehearsal dinner should be is great as long as it's within 20 miles of our reception site.  BEST. IDEA. EVER.  

    I do kinda love the idea of the 'unique' monograms, PS.  
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  • I have been asking FI for probably 4 months to set up appointments with our vendors, who are all people HE knows. He always says "Yeah we gotta do that, yep." and then does NOTHING. I haven't even seen any work by our photog or asked how much he wants, because FI just can't seem to be bothered to get in touch with the guy. We need to meet with our officiant, who is a former coworker of FI's and that hasn't happened either. But it has been really hard with us both working 12-15 hour days through out the week.
  • My FI suddenly decided (after his family said they won't be coming) he no longer wants a wedding and we should just elope.

    That has caused some major stress. I get why he has had the change of heart. It just isn't fair for him to take the wedding away from me b/c his family is being awful. It isn't fair for me to force him to do something he doesn't want to just because I want to.

    We've talked it out and he is "on board" but every time I talk about wedding stuff with him I can tell he is annoyed by it. Which upsets me. So yes, FI has really very much screwed up our wedding plans.
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