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Bridesmaid...yes or no

shalanajshalanaj
First Comment First Anniversary
in July 2013 Weddings
My FH and I have been engaged for a little while and have finally set our date and booked our reception venue!  Shortly afterwards I asked all of the bridesmaids to be in the wedding. One of the bridesmaids WAS my brother's girlfriend.  Needless to say, they broke up recently.  I was unaware the problems that they were having so I was shocked to find out they were on the outs even when I asked her.  My brother said that she isn't going to be in the wedding, and she is telling me she won't be in it if I don't want her to be.  I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I don't want to hurt either of their feelings, but I also don't want there to be any drama.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Oh, i forgot to mention her son is supposed to be our ringbearer as well....
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Re: Bridesmaid...yes or no

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    WildMageletWildMagelet member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Etiquette pretty much dictates its inappropriate to remove someone from your wedding party, short of legal offenses or trying to sleep with your significant other.

    Did you ask her just because she's your brother's girlfriend?  I'm assuming you were friends.  If you're friends, I'd say let her decide if she wants to still be in your wedding.  A  year and a half is plenty of time for them to get over their differences and be civil with one another for one day.  If you aren't friends outside of her relationship with your brother, I'm assuming she will end up removing herself from your WP between now and then.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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    beckster5551beckster5551
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    I agree with PP and etiquette does say that you should not remove a BM.

    If you asked her to be in your wedding because you are her friend too and you wanted her to be in the wedding? The wedding I am in, the MOH is the brides brothers ex gf, but the son (RB) is her brothers.

    I would recommend going with what you feel you would want. Think about how you would look back at your wedding party photos in 5 years.

    HTH!
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    shalanajshalanaj
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks ladies!
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