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June 2012 Weddings
jdillon608
member
Me and my MOH
June 2012, May Siggy Challenge
Bridesmaids Unconscious Actions
Okay Ladies! Please, Help me!!!!
So I knew right away, who I wanted to be in my wedding party! Well, after I ask all my girls, we were all very excited. Right after I had gotten engaged, there was a bridal show that I invited all the girls to go with me. There was a dress on a model that we both fell in love with. We had planned on dates to go look at dresses. Well one of my bridesmaids has bailed BOTH times that we had plans to go. The first time (a thursday night), she used the excuse "I have to pack to go home for the weekend" (she lives an hour away, and would be gone for 1 night) then the second time her excuse was "My boyfriend will be in town, so I'm going to have to pass" (her boyfriend was in town for about 2 1/2 weeks) . When I got back from trying on dresses the first time, she ask if I had tried on the one that we had seen. I told her I had, and that I liked it a lot. She got mad because thats the dress that she wants for her wedding. (She is not engaged, and has only been dating her boyfriend for 3 months). Also whenever her boyfriend is in town for weeks at a time, I don't hear a word from her. There have been a lot of similar situations, That she is very worried about herself! I didn't see this side of her until after I ask her to be in my wedding. Am I overreacting?! I am usually a very relaxed, go with the flow girl. But, this upsets me a lot. Any suggestions on what I can say to her?
Me and my MOH
June 2012, May Siggy Challenge
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bridesmaids Unconscious Actions
[QUOTE]Okay Ladies! Please, Help me!!!! So I knew right away, who I wanted to be in my wedding party! Well, after I ask all my girls, we were all very excited. Right after I had gotten engaged, there was a bridal show that I invited all the girls to go with me. There was a dress on a model that we both fell in love with. We had planned on dates to go look at dresses. Well one of my bridesmaids has bailed BOTH times that we had plans to go. The first time (a thursday night), she used the excuse "I have to pack to go home for the weekend" (she lives an hour away, and would be gone for 1 night) then the second time her excuse was "My boyfriend will be in town, so I'm going to have to pass" (her boyfriend was in town for about 2 1/2 weeks) . When I got back from trying on dresses the first time, she ask if I had tried on the one that we had seen. I told her I had, and that I liked it a lot. She got mad because thats the dress that she wants for her wedding. (She is not engaged, and has only been dating her boyfriend for 3 months). Also whenever her boyfriend is in town for weeks at a time, I don't hear a word from her. There have been a lot of similar situations, That she is very worried about herself! I didn't see this side of her until after I ask her to be in my wedding. Am I overreacting?! I am usually a very relaxed, go with the flow girl. But, this upsets me a lot. Any suggestions on what I can say to her?
Posted by jdillon608[/QUOTE]
To answer your question in short: Yes you are over reacting
The first mistake you did was ask your BP so early in your engagement. People's relationships change so it is wise to not ask so early. I personally think it's really early to be looking at BM dress so I don't see it as a big deal that she hasn't went to look at dresses. Plus I would much rather spend time with my BF then go dress shopping for an event almost 2 years away, especially if he doesn't live near me.
I do think it's dumb for her to be mad at you for looking a BM that she wants for her non-existent wedding.
I think most of the time brides forget that no one will be as excited as them for their wedding.I don't think there's anything to say to her that won't come off as bridezillaish. I hope you don't plan on kicking her out of your BP and if you do be prepared to end your friendship.
If your friend and you are about the same age she might be expecting to be engaged soon too... I don't really know though. Unfortunately there is nothing you can say with out sounding like a zilla. (Even if you are as gentle as possible)
Even though I "know" who I would want as my BP I haven't asked anyone since you just never know how life plays out.
Regardless of how things play out I wish you the best of luck!
You had to have a clue that some of these girls were drama queens, so you should have held off a little bit. Perhaps, though, you like to dip your toes in the drama a little bit and were willing to get things going?
Step back. Give your girlfriends some time to deal with whatever feelings they have. Put the bridesmaid dresses aside for a few months (or a year!).
Me and my MOH
June 2012, May Siggy Challenge
Best of luck with that, I truly hope you gals can work it out.
~B
~B