Asking/suggesting gift cards only

lalarochelle · April 2011

Is it wrong to have my bridesmaids communicate that I prefer gift cards for my bridal shower?

I'm having a shower in Michigan but live in Philadelphia and we all know what a hassle bags can be. Maybe they can make it a game to include a picture of what they want me to buy with the gift card and best picture wins something???

I don't want to be tacky, but I also don't want to spend more in shipping or checking bags to get everything back!

GeauxTigers17 · April 2011

Honestly I think you should have turned down the bridal shower if physical gifts were going to be a problem for you. I think asking for money (which is all you're doing, making it a gift card just puts window dressing on it) for a shower isn't appropriate. The whole point of showers is physical gifts (and getting together with people of course, but you see what I'm saying.)

jilld82 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:6137e2ed-a8cc-4744-af47-92c51877d0c9">Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it wrong to have my bridesmaids communicate that I prefer gift cards for my bridal shower? I'm having a shower in Michigan but live in Philadelphia and we all know what a hassle bags can be. Maybe they can make it a game to include a picture of what they want me to buy with the gift card and best picture wins something??? I don't want to be tacky, but I also don't want to spend more in shipping or checking bags to get everything back!
Posted by lalarochelle[/QUOTE]

It is tacky. If you don't want gifts then decline the shower. Opening up a bunch of gift cards is awkward and boring. Bring a few large suitcases and take as much as you can back.

jessicabessica · April 2011

Ditto PPs. If you don't want gifts, you shouldn't accept a shower. If you have a shower, bring extra suitcases, ship gifts, or leave some gifts with a friend or family member to store for you until you can make further trips to transport things.

I also think that asking for gift cards is not that far off from asking for cash. I wouldn't do it, but it's somewhat better to have gift cards on your registry with physical items. People know that if you register at a store, you would also appreciate a gift card to that store, so you don't need to tell them that that would be an appropriate gift, just like you don't need to tell people that you're happy to accept cash gifts.

lalarochelle · April 2011

Well declining the shower is not an option-it's my mother and I think she's been planning on what she would do before I was even engaged. I guess I'll just have to suck up the shipping charges. However, adding G.C's to the registry is a great idea in general

tldh · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:6137e2ed-a8cc-4744-af47-92c51877d0c9">Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it wrong to have my bridesmaids communicate that I prefer gift cards for my bridal shower? I'm having a shower in Michigan but live in Philadelphia and we all know what a hassle bags can be. Maybe they can make it a game to include a picture of what they want me to buy with the gift card and best picture wins something??? I don't want to be tacky, but I also don't want to spend more in shipping or checking bags to get everything back!
Posted by lalarochelle[/QUOTE]

The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. FIL hosted a second reception for us in San Francisco so there were a lot of gifts that we packed up and mailed home.

The other option is to realize that Michigan to Philadelphia isn't an impossible drive. I've made the car trip between Cleveland and here and Cincinnati and here several times. Can you rent an SUV and do this?

ETA- adding GCs to the registry is NOT a good idea. You should never register for cash which is exactly what you'd be doing here.

Suznh99 · April 2011

Maybe you can take gifts back with you a little at a time? Just a thought. I assume if it's in Michigan that you are originally from there and maybe your mother is still living there? Or you could keep it all there and when you have more time, take the drive out, pack up the car and take everything back with you?
I think G.C.'s are okay by word of mouth, if someone wasn't sure what to get you because they knew there was that distance you would have to take the gifts, so they asked what was better for you.

aegrish · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:6137e2ed-a8cc-4744-af47-92c51877d0c9">Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it wrong to have my bridesmaids communicate that I prefer gift cards for my bridal shower? I'm having a shower in Michigan but live in Philadelphia and we all know what a hassle bags can be. Maybe they can make it a game to include a picture of what they want me to buy with the gift card and best picture wins something??? I don't want to be tacky, but I also don't want to spend more in shipping or checking bags to get everything back!
Posted by lalarochelle[/QUOTE]

I had my shower in Michigan and live out of state. I simply returned the gifts I couldn't take home to Bed Bath and Beyond and had them shipped to my house (which they did for free).

And that game sounds like a terrible idea. The person that plans to give you the best gift wins? um no. let people buy you gifts if you are being thrown a shower. don't dictate what they can/can't buy you. You can make arrangements to return/exchange gifts if need be.

hlq2011 · April 2011

I had a shower in Massachusetts (actually, am having two in Mass) and just made sure to drive (seven hours, by myself) to get the gifts home.

If you're having an out of state shower, it's your responsibility, not that of your guests, to manage the gifts. And that includes not telling them what to buy.

artbyallie · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:377be336-d50a-41a2-b5a1-08ce3aafa14b">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]Well declining the shower is not an option-it's my mother and I think she's been planning on what she would do before I was even engaged. I guess I'll just have to suck up the shipping charges. However, adding G.C's to the registry is a great idea in general
Posted by lalarochelle[/QUOTE]

<div>Nobody said to add gift cards to the registry! In fact, they pointed out that if you register somewhere, people know you would like gift cards there without you putting them on the registry. And ditto PPs who have said showers are for physical gifts. Opening gift cards is boring and no one will bring one to a shower.</div>

jessicabessica · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:201f575c-1fbf-40d4-82c9-e88436ac6991">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only : Nobody said to add gift cards to the registry! In fact, they pointed out that if you register somewhere, people know you would like gift cards there without you putting them on the registry. And ditto PPs who have said showers are for physical gifts. Opening gift cards is boring and no one will bring one to a shower.
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

Haha thanks. I think I am the one that put that idea on here first, although I thought I was making it clear I would not do that. Oh, internetz.

lalarochelle · April 2011

I had no idea they could be returned and might be shipped for free. That seems like the most managable idea so far.

And for the record, there have been no gift cards registered for, nor request for specific shower gifts. Just trying to see what ideas are, especially when I'm already out of ideas for registry gifts in general, trying to add enough the "suggested"# of gifts .

jessicabessica · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:c7a76484-3a0b-45e2-aae0-f68e65fc772e">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]I had no idea they could be returned and might be shipped for free. That seems like the most managable idea so far. And for the record, there have been no gift cards registered for, nor request for specific shower gifts. Just trying to see what ideas are, especially when I'm already out of ideas for registry gifts in general, trying to add enough the "suggested"# of gifts .
Posted by lalarochelle[/QUOTE]

If you're talking about what stores suggest, don't worry about it. They're not trying to be helpful, they're trying to make money. Just make sure you have enough gifts that everyone invited to the shower could get something and you have a variety of price ranges. If your registry is totally picked over after the shower, you can add more things if you want, or people will just give cash or give off-registry. Don't stress about the double the number of guests think.

lindsay5432 · April 2011

My mom and fmil spread the word to shower guests that money would be the best gift for my shower. That's all I got for the shower - cards and money. Worked out well.

jilld82 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:04a0b7b4-7249-48cc-b7f0-2435ccaabe72">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom and fmil spread the word to shower guests that money would be the best gift for my shower. That's all I got for the shower - cards and money. Worked out well.
Posted by lindsay5432[/QUOTE]

Yuck, you didn't deserve a shower then.

deepcovejackie · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:6137e2ed-a8cc-4744-af47-92c51877d0c9">Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it wrong to have my bridesmaids communicate that I prefer gift cards for my bridal shower? I'm having a shower in Michigan but live in Philadelphia and we all know what a hassle bags can be. Maybe they can make it a game to include a picture of what they want me to buy with the gift card and best picture wins something??? I don't want to be tacky, but I also don't want to spend more in shipping or checking bags to get everything back!
Posted by lalarochelle[/QUOTE]

Wow, no. Best gift should never win anything at a shower.

Hellokatie0517 · April 2011

My mother was invited to a "gift card shower" for my cousin's FI who lived in Colorado at the time. This shower was about 4 years ago. To this day, she still mentions how tacky it was.

wyney · April 2011

I had a friend have a shower in NYC when she lived in FL. Yep, she brought empty suitcases, and checked them at the airport. It's what happens.

Some guests shipped the gifts straight to FL. Sure, that meant less to open, and if everyone did that I suppose it could lead to a lame shower. But if it's the guests decision to do so, that means most of them won't be disappointed by a lack of gift opening (bc it was their decision).

No contests, please. I have actually printed pictures to include with gift certificates/cash for DW or Destination Showers. Again, it's less entertaining, but it was just too practical to pass up. Neither of us had to pay shipping or lug a gift on the train. But I wasn'd directed to do it.

I'd keep the items on your registry, if you have one, small in size. If some of the items are heavier or larger, perhaps they could be the more expensive group gift types.

aegrish · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:207eb2e7-8827-4415-8f75-799c367c844d">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only : Yuck, you didn't deserve a shower then.
Posted by jilld82[/QUOTE]

lol JillD i heart u

mkrupar · April 2011

The only time I've ever printed a picture of a gift and included it with a card is when it ended up on back order and didn't make it in time for the shower.

It's on you to figure out how to get your gifts home. If you have to, store some at your mom's for a while until you can drive up there and get them. I know one of the E ladies still has gifts at her parents house because of distance.

lindsay5432 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:e864d8aa-31e1-40ff-b4c9-5b98e209dee3">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only : So you got cards and money for your shower? No judgement here (really), but isn't that a boring shower?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

Probably a little boring, but it was short and sweet -- everyone came in, chatted, ate a lot of good food, the host had me pull numbers from a hat for people to win a bbunch of prizes, had cake, gave away the door prize, I went around to all the tables to thank everyoone and chat with everyone, and then we all went home. No games or anything like that.

lindsay5432 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:207eb2e7-8827-4415-8f75-799c367c844d">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only : Yuck, you didn't deserve a shower then.
Posted by jilld82[/QUOTE]

lol, I'll give you the contact info for all the ladies who hosted and came to the shower for me, and you can let them know I didn;t deserve it. Lemme know how that goes. I do have a small registry as well and people are certainly free to shop on the registry or bring whatever or not come. Everyone knows my fiance and I have been together since highschool (10+ years) and don't need all the little "starter" things. I was a bit suprised that no one brought a gift, but not disappointed.

aegrish · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_askingsuggesting-gift-cards-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7d1b7d43-b7c0-4c0d-856c-3e0752f1fd3ePost:d7408363-f879-4b6c-8286-aacbf908e9d0">Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking/suggesting gift cards only : lol, I'll give you the contact info for all the ladies who hosted and came to the shower for me, and you can let them know I didn;t deserve it. Lemme know how that goes. I do have a small registry as well and people are certainly free to shop on the registry or bring whatever or not come. Everyone knows my fiance and I have been together since highschool (10+ years) and don't need all the little "starter" things. I was a bit suprised that no one brought a gift, but not disappointed.
Posted by lindsay5432[/QUOTE]

people sat and watched you open cards & money? sounds boring. what was the point of the shower then? Shouldve just had a money tree.

bells6337 · April 2011

Wow! What a thread!
I completely agree with PP that asking for gift cards is not a good idea for a shower. I have a situation that i would love to get thoughts on...

I am getting married in July and we need to get registered QUICKLY!... problem is, we are selling our (very small) condo and plan to move ASAP. We have already boxed up quite a bit of our belongings and stored them at mom's in order to de-clutter. Since we plan to move upon selling the condo, not sure what kind of things we will want/need. For instance, registering for towels/linens seems silly since we dont even know where we will be moving....
not to mention the storage space... mom was gracious but running out of space!. I'm sure im not the first bride-to-be in this situation.. Thoughts?

acmj11 · April 2011

I think you are worrying about this too much. People will take the fact that you are traveling into consideration. I just went to a bridal shower for a friend of mine who lives out of state. I didn't even think of bringing her a gift to the shower. I wanted to order one off the registry and have it sent straight to her house. She didn't register for anything, but I don't like giving cash so a gift card was an obvious choice.

Asking/suggesting gift cards only

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