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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?
Hi Ladies.
I am having a problem with a family member who is in our wedding. They live out of state.
The dilemma. We had a suit chosen to rent for our wedding. We were recently notified that this suit has been discontinued, and will not be available. The new choices will possibly be more expensive. My fiance' asked if we could go shopping, and see if we could purchase a suit for a similar cost, before we commit to renting.
We went to men's wearhouse, where we were told, to our surprise, that it could be an issue to find a suit to fit all of our groomsmen. They asked us to get sizes from the guys, and bring them back so they could determine what was available. So, we asked the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured.
The wife of a married couple who are in the wedding, and live out of state contacted me and wanted to know why we needed the information. I explained the situation. She responded, asking which suit we had chosen, and that they would go look at it. I again, explained that we hadn't chosen, and couldn't until we had the sizes of all the guys.
She then wanted to know why we couldn't go to a discount tux shop, so that they could go to one by their home and get it. I asked if there was a men's wearhouse nearby, and when she said yes, I asked if she could please stop by there with her husband and get a measuresment.
Again, I got a why? And that she thought that men's wearhouse carried every suit in every size. No, they don't. And then, she wanted to know if we had told the bridal shop that we weren't getting tuxes there. Again, no, because we may still end up needing to rent if we can't find something in the appropriate price range. We have short guys, heavy guys, tall skinny guys, and a few who workout regularly and are very muscular. Lots of different sizes to fit.
Anyway. I explained that we wouldn't know what was even available until we had all the sizes. Then, and only then, could we determine if there was something suitable. (We were just hoping that the guys could put their money toward a purchase instead of a rental).
So, today I get a response from her husband.
Hi. We are perfectly ok with renting a tux. People do it all the time. There are many budget tuxedo rental places that are much cheaper than what you may be paying, if you are concerned about price. I am approximately a size ...jacket, and ... pant, however, depending on the suit, this may or may not fit.
I asked him if he would please go to MW and get measured, and his reply was...."As soon as you decide FOR SURE that this is where you are going, yes. We would prefer not to do so until you know what you are doing in case you change your mind.
I again told them that we couldn't pick anything until we had sizing, and he said to just use the approximate size, and let them know what we decided.
I need to know, ladies. Is it really too much to ask him to go get measured? I didn't think that we were imposing by asking, but am just amazed by the response we got. I don't consider myself a bridezilla, and the other guys were very happy with the fact that we are trying to get the best price, and hopefully, for something they can own, instead of just pay for and return.
And yes, we asked them for their budget, and are determined to stick to it.
Thoughts?
I am having a problem with a family member who is in our wedding. They live out of state.
The dilemma. We had a suit chosen to rent for our wedding. We were recently notified that this suit has been discontinued, and will not be available. The new choices will possibly be more expensive. My fiance' asked if we could go shopping, and see if we could purchase a suit for a similar cost, before we commit to renting.
We went to men's wearhouse, where we were told, to our surprise, that it could be an issue to find a suit to fit all of our groomsmen. They asked us to get sizes from the guys, and bring them back so they could determine what was available. So, we asked the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured.
The wife of a married couple who are in the wedding, and live out of state contacted me and wanted to know why we needed the information. I explained the situation. She responded, asking which suit we had chosen, and that they would go look at it. I again, explained that we hadn't chosen, and couldn't until we had the sizes of all the guys.
She then wanted to know why we couldn't go to a discount tux shop, so that they could go to one by their home and get it. I asked if there was a men's wearhouse nearby, and when she said yes, I asked if she could please stop by there with her husband and get a measuresment.
Again, I got a why? And that she thought that men's wearhouse carried every suit in every size. No, they don't. And then, she wanted to know if we had told the bridal shop that we weren't getting tuxes there. Again, no, because we may still end up needing to rent if we can't find something in the appropriate price range. We have short guys, heavy guys, tall skinny guys, and a few who workout regularly and are very muscular. Lots of different sizes to fit.
Anyway. I explained that we wouldn't know what was even available until we had all the sizes. Then, and only then, could we determine if there was something suitable. (We were just hoping that the guys could put their money toward a purchase instead of a rental).
So, today I get a response from her husband.
Hi. We are perfectly ok with renting a tux. People do it all the time. There are many budget tuxedo rental places that are much cheaper than what you may be paying, if you are concerned about price. I am approximately a size ...jacket, and ... pant, however, depending on the suit, this may or may not fit.
I asked him if he would please go to MW and get measured, and his reply was...."As soon as you decide FOR SURE that this is where you are going, yes. We would prefer not to do so until you know what you are doing in case you change your mind.
I again told them that we couldn't pick anything until we had sizing, and he said to just use the approximate size, and let them know what we decided.
I need to know, ladies. Is it really too much to ask him to go get measured? I didn't think that we were imposing by asking, but am just amazed by the response we got. I don't consider myself a bridezilla, and the other guys were very happy with the fact that we are trying to get the best price, and hopefully, for something they can own, instead of just pay for and return.
And yes, we asked them for their budget, and are determined to stick to it.
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla?
[QUOTE]I don't blame them for wanting you to make a decision before going to get things taken care of. I'd be annoyed having to go to multiple places as well. Is this guy an unusual size or something? If he's anything close to average then you'd have nothing to worry about. In the future, have your fiance deal with him because then the wife won't likely be involved.
Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]
<div>She first asked "<span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured." that's when they started coming back with the whys and how comes. She did not say hey everyone please run (don't walk. Run) to such a place to get measured and report back ASAP. If they had first responded with normally I'm a 32 waist with 40 inseam and 16 shirt (I don't know if measurement would be the same where you are) then I think that would have been fine. But they responded multiple time with why and how come then gave a wishy wash normally/could be/don't know answer. </span></div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need measurements for guys suits.......Bridezilla? : She first asked " the guys to send us sizes, and/or get measured." that's when they started coming back with the whys and how comes. She did not say hey everyone please run (don't walk. Run) to such a place to get measured and report back ASAP. If they had first responded with normally I'm a 32 waist with 40 inseam and 16 shirt (I don't know if measurement would be the same where you are) then I think that would have been fine. But they responded multiple time with why and how come then gave a wishy wash normally/could be/don't know answer.
Posted by mary35699[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well of course they did--I'd want to know why too if she hadn't picked a suit yet. Personally, if someone had asked me to go to a specific store to get measured, when they hadn't even picked suit or tux, I'd be pretty irritated since it would require me to make an extra trip, drive (when I don't normally drive during the week), or fight traffic on the weekend, all to potentially have to do it AGAIN if she picks a different place. It sounds like the OP's GM DID respond with an approximate size that he measured at home, so I don't know what you're taking about.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, you got an approximate size, that should be sufficient for determining if a suit comes in his size. It's silly that you want him to get measured when you haven't even determined if it's the suit you want. If it comes in everyone's sizes, will this be the suit you choose? If so, you should communicate THAT as it makes you seem less undecided. Also, why are you asking the GM's wife for his size? Shouldn't your FI be asking HIS friend for HIS size?
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Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Since it seems he didn't have an issue eventually giving you an approximate size I do think it's odd and a little irritating, all of the "why?" and "how come" texts. I can sort of understand why you still want him to get measured since the response he did give you was so wishy washy, but are you really concerned that this guy will be a limiting factor on the suit? is he significantly taller, shorter, thinner, or heavier than the other guys?
All that said: we rented from Mens Warehouse, and they made no comment what-so-ever about any size limitations. They didn't ask us if we had anyone of any exceptional size, even after we'd picked the tux and put deposits down for everyone. While I'm sure there are unique situations like PPs very thin friend the only situation I can imagine as to why they'd need EXACT sizes for everyone would be because they want to see what's in stock, not that the suit wasn't made in that size; and that would only be an issue if you're picking a discontinued suit.
I dealt with MW for my wedding. We picked tuxes 2 months out, everybody got measured around 4 weeks before the wedding, and everything went fine. Your wedding is in June and you're not even 100% sure you're definitely going with MW, so why are you pressing the issue?
Frankly, if DH was your GM and we were getting multiple texts from you about getting him measured 5 months out for a tux that he might not even end up wearing at a place you might not even end up using, I'd be pretty irked with you.
With that said, honestly, it would be annoying to have to go in twice for measurements. It's enough to drag a guy in once, let alone 2x. I think the general sentiment from guys is, "tell me where to go and when" and omit unnecessary details and superfluous trips.
Pick it and they will rent it. Done and done.
[QUOTE]To clarify ladies.....we are not looking to rent a suit or tux, but to buy one, and the salesman at men's wear house told us he couldn't show us anything until he knew the sizes of all the guys to see what was available that would fit all of them. Clearly, if we were renting, it wouldn't be an issue, but we don't know if we can buy either until we see if what's available is in the budget, and they can't tell us what's available without the sizes, according to them. We honestly aren't trying to be a PITA, just trying to get the info we were asked for, which we obviously need BEFORE we can make a decision. Thanks, so much for your input, however. I appreciate your thoughts and comments,
Posted by megannie[/QUOTE]
I don't think you are being a PITA at all. You told them the situation and let them know the reason why you needed the measurements (because that is what the store told you). I think they are being hard headed by not going to get measurements done. Seriously they take all of 2 seconds and can be done anywhere, not just MW.
I think you should have your FI call his friend up because this guy is his GM and your FI should be talking to him not you. Have your FI explain the situation, over the phone not through text and to ask him to get measured..
There may have been some miscommunication or some lost-in-translation thing going on because you were having this discussion through texts.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you can't just pick something that <strong>isn't</strong> being discontinued, and therefore, won't be an issue for everybody to find. Like I said earlier, if you were texting me to get DH measured for a suit that he might not even end up wearing at a store you might not even end up using, I'd be more than annoyed.
Pick a store that you definitely will be using and a suit that definitely will be available to <strong>rent</strong>, not buy (Like PP, DH and I wouldn't buy a suit that we had zero say in picking out) and drop it already.
If you were telling them all to just wear a black or gray suit or something, that would be fine, some of them might not even have to go shopping at that point. But forcing them all to buy the exact same suit is ridiculous. If everybody is in the same color suit, nobody's even going to notice whether or not the detailing matches.
And again, if you are going to insist that everybody wear the same exact suit, then pick a suit that's not being discontinued. I don't get why you don't understand that harassing people to get measured at a store you might not even be using for a suit that might not even be available is obnoxious.