NWR - any dual military wives out there?

forrma7 · August 2010

my FI and I will be dual active army officers commissioning in may, and i'm always open to advice and stories. i hear a lot about army wives and their relationships with their active husbands, but less of the dual military couples.

feel free to post your stories/advice below!

thanks

amber16may · August 2010

I am going to be Dual Military. I believe there are a couple more of us on this board. The biggest difference between dual Military and sole Military is time. With both of you Active Duty you could be deployed at the same time, or maybe different rotations. The Army is trying to get better at this but I have seen it happen to a couple of my friends where they will only overlap by a month or so at home. There is also a possibility that you will have to PCS at different times or to different places, especially if you are both in the same career field. Other than that it's amazing! I know that when I get called at odd times from my Soldiers, have to go into work at the last minute, have to stay long hours at the last minute, and other random things that come up....your spouse understands because they have been there done that. It helps so much in our relationship.

bintmejnuna · August 2010

I am dual mil, and it has been really hard. I have seen my FI (now my H for the past 12 days

) approximately 4 weeks in the past 2 years. I imagine it gets better once married because there's the chance of getting assigned together, but for my personal situation it is unlikely that will happen(I'm enlisted AF and he's an Army officer...and before anyone says anything about that, he's prior enlisted and commission two days before the wedding!), so I'm getting out and going into the ANG. Since you two will both be in the same service I imagine it will be much easier to be stationed together.

crimsonchik · August 2010

ah, yes. twice.

i am usaf, been in over 5 years now. (yes, a baby to many.)

my first one fell apart because we were both: 1) young and stupid, 2) right out of tech school and without any real knowledge of the real world or military, 3) in same career/shop and always opposite shifts.

this time is ever so much better, even though i've gotten to see him just 8 weeks in two years. we were married by double proxy back in november 09, but just the ways our assignments are not lining up, we will be apart for another half year (though we get to see eachother in october for our wedding!!!) i cant say we are a good example of a happy marriage, because of course we havent gotten to be together, but we are doing a fabulous job at long distance!!! in the two years we have been together, we had a few months together in germany, and have many phone calls from germany to honduras, from afghanistan to honduras, from afghanistan to okinawa, and now germany to okinawa.
thank god for the internet and magic jack.

kyrgyzstan · August 2010

I hope to commission as an MC O and SO is AD E MC. He's worried about having to have a family care plan, mostly raising children in general as an AD couple.

We're discussing marriage, and if we decide not to, we will break up, because my desire to become a Marine Officer comes before my desire to be someone's wife. Even someone as great as SO. And we'll absolutely get married before I commission, I'm not a rules breaker, and we will not JOP.

I'd say that with both of you commissioning, the most important thing to realize is that your Soldiers will come first, always, and with a dual couple, that means twice as many Soldiers.

Good luck!

AggieGirl2009 · August 2010

I am an AD Army Officer and DH commissions next week into the Army. We are still pretty new in our military careers, so the longest we have ever been separated is 4 months here and 1 month there. We both have a great love for the Army and for our Soldiers, and knowing that he cares about something as important as that just as much as I do brings us closer and makes the times apart not so bad.

meltoine · August 2010

I know a lot of women from the military boards (this, the Nest, and the Bump) who are dual-mil and make it work just fine. I'm sure it's difficult, especially in cases like PPs' when they don't see each other for sometimes years on end, but it's always your choice. If you ever decide that the pros of you both being in the military no longer outweigh the cons of being apart for that long, you can always choose to amend your decision.

I am particularly good friends with two women who recently got out of AD to follow their AD husbands to our current assignment. The AD husbands are both AF Os. One woman was an AD Army O and chose to leave AD for the TX National Guard. The other was AF E and got out when she and her H decided to apply for this assignment.

Another good friend of mine who was AD Army O left AD to follow his AD Army wife to an assignment that she had been dreaming of getting for years.

AriaGoose · August 2010

My FI and I are AF officer Mil to Mil AND we work in the same office (actually, we share a cubicle). While it sucks because we are in different buckets and we both have to work long hours together, it is nice because we know what's going on and we can relate to each other. Overall though, I can't WAIT to get out and just be a dependant wife. It can be difficult to connect with other women because they all do stuff together during the work day and I work primarily with their husbands - not them - so I am closer to the men than the women. I wish I had some girl friends... It is also hard because at the end of the day - we both have the heavy commitment of time and energy. There is no one at home to cook the meal or clean the home or walk the dog... we are both committed to an overtime-intensive job. It is a balance issue and I wish you good luck!

MrsOjoButtons · August 2010

My husband and I are both AD AF. We got married in 2007 and went separate ways pretty much right off the bat. He was gone most of 2008, I was gone most of 2009. Things like infertility treatment were put on hold for a long time because of the separation, but also because we need time to establish the foundation that most couples do in their first year of marriage.

With lots of counseling, an overworked Crock Pot, and a couple Roombas, we're doing pretty well. It's not rainbows and unicorns, but all in all, we're fine.

I work alone. My unit is a 2-man detachment, just me and my OIC, who is TDY 9 months of the year. Despite the quiet office, I have friends, a few of whom are female. They're so busy with the dependent wives during the duty day that they clear their evenings and weekends for the working class folk such as myself.

mehgank · August 2010

<-------------- Both AD Coast Guard

SuRfGrl81 · October 2010

We were dual Military until I moved with him to his recent duty station!

We met when we both were AD then I go out and went into the Reserves.....I was a Reservist for 2 years in San Diego while my FI was in Japan doing a 2 year tour....when he moved back to the states to be stationed at NAS Lemoore, CA we decided to move in together. I had to make the sacrafice and exit the reserves because there were no billets open for my rate at the NAS base in Lemoore. I wouldn't change anything though!

NWR - any dual military wives out there?

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