Men's engagment rings

beebsgp · September 2010

My fiance is over the moon excited about EVERYTHING wedding, wants to be part of every decison, its kind of cute. Of course everyone notices I'm engaged bc of this pretty new ring on a particular finger....and he wants the same "acknowledgment" from people, but obviously just looking at him there is nothing that says "I'm engaged", so unless he brings it up he doen't feel like he gets to talk about this most exciting day that is coming up, as much as I do. I have heard people talk about guys now getting engagement rings....but how does that work? Is that his wedding band? Do you buy a second band come wedding time? So many questions on how that all works, I really want to get something for him, just not exactly sure what is appropriate.......

mgietler76 · September 2010

I've never heard of this, personally I don't like the idea. If its technically his wedding band (or any ring on that finger) people will assume he's already married. If not than what would he do with two rings? Just sounds strange to me.

twilight.rose · September 2010

Ditto PP. I don't understand what he would do with two rings after the wedding, unless he wanted to continue to wear both of them, which would probably be quite bulky.

Also, I highly doubt your FI will get any acknowledgment for being engaged. People will just presume he's married if he's wearing a ring on his wedding ring finger.

lalap69 · September 2010

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I *like* the idea of a man getting an engagement ring too. It's much more fair and egalitarian. And yes, I think it would mean he would get two rings - one engagement and one marriage, same as you. However, they're not common practice by any means. If he's doing it for the acknowledgement, he's going to end up disappointed. People will think he's married.

mbcdefg · September 2010

There are no rules to this, so do whatever you want.

You could get him his wedding ring now, he could wear it on his right hand and then switch it to the left at your wedding. Or you could get him a ring now and he could wear it on either hand, then get him a new ring for your wedding.

He could wear just one ring after your wedding, or both ... my dad wears two rings on his left ring finger (his wedding ring, plus a claddagh ring that my mom got him a few years ago). You can see it here, it just looks like he's wearing one large gold ring: http://mbcdd.weebly.com/uploads/3/6/6/6/3666310/6915450.png?552 My FIL used to wear his wedding ring on the left finger and a personal ring on the right hand.

eshaufle · September 2010

I think it's sweet that your FI is so excited and wants an engagement ring too!

Unfortunately, I think getting him a ring to wear on that finger will only make people assume he's already married. If he really wants to though then maybe get a smaller ring that can be put together with another smaller one as your wedding band to form one normal-sized band to wear all the time once you're married. This isn't common but I'm sure a jeweler could work with you on this to create something.

samscsi · September 2010

I had a male friend in grad school who had both an engagement ring and a wedding band. He wore them both on the same finger after the wedding and it was fine. I like the idea. Just make sure to choose a ring that isn't too bulky if he intends to wear it with his wedding band.

I doubt your fiance is going to get the same acknowledgement as you get for your ring, though.

beebsgp · September 2010

Thanks ladies!! Maybe acknowledgement wasnt the correct word..not sure. He does copier repairs, often at the same offices over and over, so has grown a sort of co-worker relationship with office staff. Most of them would notice a ring, and probably ask when he got married...but thats ok if people think he's married, that is the final outcome after all this ring business lol. Thanks for all your thoughts! Best wishes to everyone!

shaydenise · September 2010

This makes me think of Boy Meets World when Cory wanted an engagement ring. That's the only instance - in reality or fictional - I can recall ever seeing it done.

KlassyWithaK · September 2010

In some cultures its tradition for men and women to wear engagement rings. In Argentina, both the men and women were silver rings when they're engaged and gold rings when they're married (according to an article about Michael Bubles engagement ring). I don't know any men who do it personally. I don't think it would look "weird" if your FI had two different rings as long as both were relatively small and they matched.
I brought it up with FI and he said if he did it he wants to get one that looks like the Lord of the Rings ring. As funny as it would be I think I'll pass.

SEWF · September 2010

My FI wears a ring now, but it is his class ring (which he never wore before), but he wears it because he feels like we are already married. If your FI wants one, go for it. I see no reason he shouldn't. As PPs wrote, he may not get the acknowledgment he wants, but those who see him all the time may notice.

samscsi · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mens-engagment-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:87cddb64-f279-4f15-88a4-4fb3b2a8d2aaPost:30f5806b-8eb8-4a00-bc98-09cde5c3ddff">Re: Men's engagment rings</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I brought it up with FI and he said if he did it he wants to get one that looks like the Lord of the Rings ring</strong>. As funny as it would be I think I'll pass.
Posted by KlassyWithaK[/QUOTE]

Your FI sounds like my FI. Sometimes I just have to shake my head and move on.

marissa_claire · September 2010

I've seen it done but it's usually just what will become their wedding band. I kind of think it's weird but I know a guy who did it and wore it daily and he's not a weird guy, so I guess it's okay.

opalsky007 · September 2010

I was actually going to suggest a claddagh too--depending on which way it faces, it indicates single, dating, engaged or married.

lalap69 · September 2010

Opalsky, my understanding was that there were only two ways to wear the claddagh - heart facing in (means your heart already belongs to someone) or heart facing out (means your heart is available). Am I missing something on how it indicates these different statuses?

baboox · September 2010

When I gave my fiance his wedding ring, he put it on and has worn it every day since. It will also be his wedding band.

dizzinea · September 2010

honestly this sounds fair to me, girls get a big sparkly ring and a band why can't he have two as well. maybe two thin or stackable rings that look cool together? one for E ring and one for wedding band, I say power to the groom he can have more jewelery too!

ms_teach · September 2010

I got FI an engagement watch. I spent a good deal on it and he gets comments about it a lot. Then, he gets to tell his engagement story. It worked out for us and avoided having two rings.

christyhal · September 2010

My FI is from India, and in his family both the guy and girl have engagement rings. My e-ring is a diamond with a sapphire on either side of it. FI proposed at Christmas...a few months later on our 5-year anniversary I got him a titanim ring with a sapphire in it (one of those tension-set rings where the stone is suspended without prongs). FI loves it, and plans to wear it on his right hand after we are married (it doesn't go with his wedding band at *all*). We both work for the same company, so we have a lot of mutual friends who know we're engaged, so there haven't been issues of people thinking he's married. I think it also helps that his ring does not look like a traditional wedding ring, so that's not the first thing people think.

LindaN21 · September 2010

I had a boss who was marrying a woman from China and that culture does it also.
But he just wore the wedding band as an engagement band until they got married. I guess it's supposed to symbolize that he's taken since he's engaged!!!

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