It's not just me, this is weird... right?

TashaK24 · May 2011

So I know part of having a destination wedding is having people around during the traditional honeymoon time, and FI and I are totally fine with that. We arranged for everyone to stay a week and then just the two of us are going to stay an extra 4 nights to have some alone time. Fastforward to this week when my parents have now decided they're going to stay the extra 4 days too! They claim they won't try to hang out with us, but knowing my mom, they will. It's weird right? Why would they WANT to stick around for our honeymoon time? It's not like this is their first trip to Maui, they were just there in December and have a time share and go like 2-3 times a year!

kaesha · May 2011

Eh, I think if I was shelling out money to fly somewhere, I'd definitely try to maximize my time in that location, you know? We had guests who flew to our wedding FOR their honeymoon, told everyone they didn't want to see people except for the wedding event and everyone listened.

I say you refuse to answer the phone and ignore them if they do try to get in touch. Will you be in the same complex? If you haven't booked a place for those 4 nights, why not move to another (secret) area of the island.

breaness · May 2011

Everyone is staying on the island the whole time we'll be there, we'll just be on different sides. Everyone is staying on the south side the whole time, we're going to Hana the morning after the wedding and then making our way back and spending our 'honeymoon' on the west side.

TashaK24 · May 2011

Sigh, I wish we could move to a different hotel. We're all staying at the time share condo and FI and I are pretty broke with the wedding, receptions and me and my dog immigrating to the UK, so we can only really afford to stay longer because we're using my parents time at the time share. I'm hoping we can at least be in a different BUILDING :P

kaesha · May 2011

All fingers crossed for a different building then!

Honestly, if they're being generous enough to share their timeshare with you, I'd probably leave the issue of how they choose to spend their time well enough alone. It's not ideal, I know, and I can totally understand why it would bum you out... but since it's because of them that you get to stay, then it sounds like something you may have to suck up, unfortunately.

moonbunnie · May 2011

We have the same issue! We are renting a house for the week of our wedding and staying there with about a dozen of our family and friends, which will be most of our guests. Then, everyone is leaving and we are staying a second week. But, Dan's uncle decided that he and his girlfriend want to stay 2 weeks too. Which is ok, but I wish maybe they would have come a week earlier rather than stay a second week. I told Dan that we are not hanging out with them at all the second week because I really want that to be our honeymoon time, and I don't think we will be staying at the same place as them for the second week, but I'm still kinda annoyed because I just have a feeling they will be calling us and Dan will be like, oh one dinner would be ok right? Grr.. or maybe I'm being crazy too

TashaK24 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_its-not-just-this-weird-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:73Discussion:f9f05953-bf38-4f5e-bda1-f9c67fab11e8Post:b99fed57-1578-4d9c-9c71-2e59c0f9b8a1">Re: It's not just me, this is weird... right?</a>:
[QUOTE]All fingers crossed for a different building then! Honestly, if they're being generous enough to share their timeshare with you, I'd probably leave the issue of how they choose to spend their time well enough alone. It's not ideal, I know, and I can totally understand why it would bum you out... but since it's because of them that you get to stay, then it sounds like something you may have to suck up, unfortunately.
Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

That's a really good point, we wouldn't be getting "maui'd" (hehehe) if it wasn't for them. Maybe I'll just "lose my phone" for those four days :)

aliblu · May 2011

I'm in the same situation as you. Me and FI are staying 2 weeks, and so is my family. We are doing stuff together the first week, like Welcome BBQ, shopping, luau. But, the second week, I tell my Grandmas all the stuff that FI and I want to do, and then she says, "Oh, lets all do that together!" She wants to join our sunset cruise, dinner theater, ect ect. Which, I dont mind really, but I would like just one thing FI and I can do alone! My parents even told me that after the wedding, I should only be spending time with FI, but now they want to do everything together.

breaness · May 2011

Just tell them that you want that to be your honeymoon time. They should understand that. My mom and dad have no interest in crashing our honeymoon.

motoLyn · May 2011

I think it would be a little awkward. I would follow Kaesha's advice and not answer the phone or any attempts of them trying to contact you. Hopefully you can get a room in another building and get some buffer space. Good luck!!

Tanq&Tonic · May 2011

So initially, I thought it was weird and voted as such. But then after hearing more, including the fact that it is their timeshare you are staying in, I don't think it's so odd. I definitely think it's in your control to not answer your phone, or just decline if they do ask you to get together. And if it really doesn't work out, you can take a super secret 1-year anniversary trip somewhere even better!

sharkbitemiller · May 2011

I, too, will be in the same boat. FI and I are actually going to a different island after the wedding but since my mom has family on said island, they are going to stay a few days extra as well. I know my mom and she will try to call every second she can to do stuff with us. I already "put my foot down" and told both of my parents that they are to not call us for any reason whats-so-ever. I ever threatened that if they disturb us on our honeymoon then how in the world are we to try to give them a grandchild. haha...my mom got the point. LOL!

AKWinterBride · May 2011

I don't really think it's a big deal. If they wanted to stay in the same room, yes, but if they are just going to be at the same complex it's not a big thing, you can avoid each other easily. I mean, the only time you really don't want them there will most likely be when you are inside your unit, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Tanq&Tonic · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_its-not-just-this-weird-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:73Discussion:f9f05953-bf38-4f5e-bda1-f9c67fab11e8Post:fad80e28-fdb8-402b-916d-0173e6b6e046">Re: It's not just me, this is weird... right?</a>:
[QUOTE]I mean, the only time you really don't want them there will most likely be when you are inside your unit
Posted by AKWinterBride[/QUOTE]
LOL. :D Awesome, and so true.

A&J_Hawaii'd · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_its-not-just-this-weird-right?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:73Discussion:f9f05953-bf38-4f5e-bda1-f9c67fab11e8Post:86c3a1d3-a597-4620-b26b-a5be2175605b">Re: It's not just me, this is weird... right?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: It's not just me, this is weird... right? : LOL. :D Awesome, and so true.
Posted by Tanq&Tonic[/QUOTE]

Agreed!

Eh, I don't think it is too wierd. Then again, we are taking our kids on the trip and will only have 3 or 4 days alone after the wedding before our family leaves the island (and the kids are returned to us)...then we are planning on turning the rest of the trip into a family trip. So, I am probably not the right one to give advice on this topic =)

kimmykupcakes · May 2011

I get that it's nice that your parents are doing stuff for you, but I would in no way want them to stay during my honeymoon. We had a feeling FI's mom would do this so we are staying somewhere else besides where our guests will be staying during the wedding and will be moving to another side of the island for a few days before we leave to another island to try to avoid this. His mom will not have ANY of our lodging information until we get there to also try to avoid this. I'd make it really clear that you will not be seeing anyone once your honeymoon has started. Don't take their calls and make your own plans that just include you and FI.

carrieoz_76 · May 2011

The trick is to leave the wedding location and go somewhere else. We went to Pa'ia, then Hana, then to Kauai, and we were happily on our own. If you stay in the same place, I think you can expect at least someone to decide to extend their stay as well.

If you're taking them up on their generosity to stay at their timeshare, then you're not really in a position to insist that they not stay there. You gain freedom if you head off on your own.

It's not just me, this is weird... right?

Re: It's not just me, this is weird... right?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards