Invitation Lists - HUGE

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Hi All,

So, a little bit of background. I am originally from Cleveland, OH. 95% of my family still lives there. My fiance is from Chicago. Half of his family is in Chicago, and the other half is still in Italy. (Where his parents are from). We both have very large extended family (parent's cousins) and due to tradition they must be invited. But the thing is since it's out of town most of them won't come. Does any one have any experience with this, or know what the general RSVP rate is for a wedding with a lot of out of towners?

I'm just a little nervous that either no one will show up, or everyone will decide that they really need a good party/family reunion, so everyone would come.

Thanks in advance!!

snuff9861 · June 2012

Plan for 100% attendance and go from there. Like you said, they may all decide to get together and see the whole family.

littleluckypenny · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_invitation-lists-huge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:c8b0dbb5-a691-4d27-ae83-588fb7b6584aPost:41676470-35c1-4170-b2a1-8ce94f83fbb5">Re: Invitation Lists - HUGE</a>:
[QUOTE]Plan for 100% attendance and go from there. Like you said, they may all decide to get together and see the whole family.
Posted by snuff9861[/QUOTE]

<strong>This a million times over.</strong>

pkontk · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_invitation-lists-huge?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c8b0dbb5-a691-4d27-ae83-588fb7b6584aPost:41676470-35c1-4170-b2a1-8ce94f83fbb5">Re: Invitation Lists - HUGE</a>:
[QUOTE]Plan for 100% attendance and go from there. Like you said, they may all decide to get together and see the whole family.
Posted by snuff9861[/QUOTE]

This exactly. I RARELY see my family that's in Ohio, but they are all using my wedding as an excuse to come to the East Coast for a mini vacation.

casyme · June 2012

I have a somewhat different opinion. I'm in the same boat as you -- most of my family lives far away and are frankly too poor to travel to NYC for a wedding. (Plus, the tradition in our family is to send just a couple of people as "family representatives" to far-away weddings.) So our guest list is 150, but we only expect 80-100. So, we made sure that our venue can indeed hold 150 (hedging our bets) BUT in all other planning (such as the overall budget, the number of centerpieces we'll need, the initial food head count, etc.), we are using the more realistic number of 80-100. Once the RSVPs come in, we'll have a month to make changes if necessary, such as ordering more food. So we're prepared, yet not assuming 100% attendance.

We came to the 80-100 figure by going through the whole list and, for each person, guessing as to the likelihood of their attendance, with any "maybe"s being placed in the "yes" column to be safe. So far, our estimates have been very accurate, based on informal comments from people who got our STDs about whether they can attend.

SB1512 · June 2012

I too am in the same boat as OP, but mostly with FI's family. They have relatives in Italy, Canada and Pennsylvania and unfortunately the future in-laws want everyone to get an invite......their total guest list is about 115. Mine and my parents guest list is about 70 and I think FI will add in about 20 of his friends and his SO's, so that's 205 people total. I'm counting on 100% attendance even though FMIL is insisting that 20-25 people on her guest list will not be coming. I'm sort of inclined to agree because the relatives in Italy and Canada and some of the ones in PA are over the age of 75 and probably won't make the trip here. But just in case our venue can hold 300 people so we're safe if everyone comes

Hobie625 · June 2012

I agree with the two PP's. I know most people on this site say 'plan for 100%!!!', but this is not reality. It's just not. You know your family best obviously (and your guy knows his family best, more or less), and you can make educated guesses based on where people are coming from, their age, and other life events that are happening.

We have family scattered across the globe, and the wedding will be in Canada while all of my family lives in California. Most of my relatives are older, or have children, or have to work, so they're not coming. And I knew that before I even invited them. Other friends we invited are having babies, or buying/selling a house, or working, or just don't have the money (thanks, economy). I just don't think it's practical to assume everyone will attend. For me it's been very stressful planning things based on that 100% idea because I was trying to order enough cake, or figure out where to put the tables, etc, when really, as we started getting the RSVP's, half of them were no's. I wish I had listened to myself and gone with my original thoughs that most people won't come.

We invited around 115 people and right now, with RSVP's past due and the wedding less than a month away, we've had about 64 yeses. But, like the two PP's, we went through the list and sorted into yes, no, and maybe categories. If someone was a maybe we counted it in our overall count, just in case. And really, if people have to travel to your wedding, it's not like they can change their mind or drop in at the last minute. They have to fly, get a hotel, etc. It's just not practical.

So those are my thoughts anyway. I know others will disagree, but different strokes for different folks, right? You need to look at your guest list since you know these people best, and then go from there.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

Thanks for your help!! We are going over the invite list tonight. Just my list alone is 150 people, and I imagine his is the same. So we'll at least make sure our venue can hold 300 people, and budget based on our estimates on who will actually come.

librababy · June 2012

All my family is coming from oot. Some of the oot'ers on fi's side I know won't come but I still invited them anyway. As for my family, I have gotten a pretty good estimate of who is coming and who might be able to come and who can't. Still, invites haven't gonw out yet so I don't know for sure... anything can happen from now until September/October.

I am hoping for 150 but I am inviting over 200. About 50 most likely won't be able to come. My venue can hold up to 250 but my budget can't... so I will make adjustments after RSVP's go out. I know people say expect 100 but I just don't see everyone coming and then I can even forsee me not reaching my 150 goal. However, some families will look at a wedding like a fmaily reunion. So more people who you thought won't come might.

AurorasEnvy · June 2012

I agree with PP that you should be able to swing it with 100% attendance, space and money wise.

90% of my wedding guests were from OOT (my family lives just over an hour away, H's family is mostly from a town about 3 hours away). We invited 209 people, had about 155 actually come. A LOT of OOTers came, we had about 50 hotel rooms booked until there were no rooms available at the hotel. Just FWIW....but I suppose every situation is different - I feel like the attendance rate for OOTers is very "band wagon" in that it only takes a few family members to committ to going to convince all the other ones.

futuremrsbruno · June 2012

While we are planning everything around 100% attendance. That being said, when I've met with vendors, in particular the venue coordinator and the baker, and I told them the amount of people invited, they both said that I should expect about 10-20% less. They said sometimes everyone invited comes, but more often than not, they don't. It was an interesting take, and I think I read that in a few bridal magazines too.

However, I would definitely count on 100% attendance. It will make things much less of a headache if everyone does show up. I have kept all of my receipts and asked all of the places I've purchased things at about their return policies. They said that if it's past the return date on the receipt, they generally make an exception for wedding related items.

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