how to have an AHR??

Re: how to have an AHR??

• Erinkathleen84

  

  April 2012

  Your AHR can be whatever you want it to be. A big fancy formal wedding reception or a casual gathering of friends and family. I would try and keep it as close to the actual wedding as possible or either do a 1-year anniversary party ! Whichever you decide keep us posted, this board is awesome !

  

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• Erinkathleen84

  

  April 2012

  P.S. we did STD's for our AHR. This was mainly because we had a lot of people coming from OOT.

  

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• harr0610

  

  April 2012

  First off congratulations.
  
  I agree with Erin. Ultimately, it's your wedding and you have to do what works for you and what you're comfortable with. My own experience/what worked for me:
  
  -We DID do Save the Dates for the AHR, also because about 1/2 our list is OOT. Invites will go out in September.
  -Etiquette says don't make it a reception, however again, it's you and your FI's day, so do what you'd prefer! For what it's worth, we're doing a formal cocktail hour/dinner/dance, however we will not be doing first dance, cake cutting etc that is common at receptions. I'm not wearing my wedding dress. This is just a personal preference of mine, but again, you can do whatever you want.
  -Time wise is up to you too! We're doing ours 2 weeks after. I know some ladies here have them a few months later. I don't know that there's really a "rule" on this?
  -Our wording for the invites is "help us celebrate or marriage" or something to that effect...I haven't ordered them yet.
  
  Good luck and stick around! The ladies here are so extremely helpful!!!

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• lisa3185

  

  April 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_how-to-have-an-ahr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:af67b90d-c34e-4217-9b74-007699ec0685Post:bd45ca80-d90f-459a-bcea-aa79bcdcd030">how to have an AHR??</a>:
  [QUOTE]I am getting married in June 2013, in a small chapel wedding in Niagara Falls.  When i first started the guest list, it was very small, immediate family for me, fiance has a bro and very close friend with his SO (his SO is also my maid of honor)...so barely 10 people (my bro may or may not have a SO at that point).  All of a sudden there is a list of 30 people!  I have decided that we are starting from scratch and going with our original tiny guest list.  I live in Albany, NY and most of my family (extended also) is here in the area.  I have an aunt, a cousin and an uncle that live in florida, N carolina and Maryland respectively.  Everyone else is in the NY/capital distric area. <strong> I know its my wedding but how do i, i guess, break it to the family?</strong>  They should respect my decision, right?  I have always been to traditional weddings (ceremony/reception) so i have NO IDEA how to go about this.<strong> Do i do save the dates for the afterparty? or just invitations after the wedding? </strong>I <strong>have heard dont make it like a reception and i have heard it ok to celebrate the wedding?</strong>  Im confused <strong>If i am having the wedding early June, how much time to give before the AHR?</strong> <strong>Wording for the invitations?</strong> Sorry for the bombardment of questions, but i dont want to offend anyone (or at least as few people as possible) Thank you for any answers or input that you guys can give me!  Much appreciated!
  Posted by lexakita[/QU
  
  OP, Im glad you posted on this board.  The "regs" on the E board seem to shun anything with the words destination or ahr in it.
  
  We explained to our mothers our plans and they kinda just spread the word to the rest of the family for us.  We thought they were gonna take it kinda hard (the mothers) but surprisingly enough they were totally understanding.
  
  Totally your choice.  I am not sending STD's.  I am sending my ahr invitations a few weeks before we get married.  We will be married on 4/22 and ahr is 5/19.  So I will send invitations middle-end of March.
  
  Honestly, make it what you want.  Everyones is different.  Beware, if it is too weddingish it can be seen as a do-over.  Just remember, your ahr is not your wedding day.  Your wedding day IS your wedding day!  For my ahr, we will be having a champagne brunch.  I am not wearing my wedding dress, I bought a short maggie sottero dress.  Many women do wear their dresses though, I choose not to bc I think it will look too formal considering it will be a Sunday afternoon.  We will be greeting our guests as they arrive (vs. being announced.)  We will not have any special dances.  I am still debating the cake cutting ceremony.  I think we should skip it but everyone else tells me to go for it.  Im sure our parents and siblings will say a toast.
  
  I would suggest doing it within a month.  If you wait 6 months its no longer a ahr IMO.  More of a "were an old married couple, come celebrate with us."
  I found this cute poem for my invite (woulnt work for Niagra falls wedding tho)  But so you get the idea, it goes...
  
  Very short, quick version of my wording...
  They will get their feet wet and play in the sand
  and oh yes, they will join their hands
  L & R will be wed on 4/22 in xyz, JA
  Together with their parents,
  join them in celebration of their marriage....

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• Erinkathleen84

  

  April 2012

  DW ladies STAY AWAY from the e-boards. They are scary over there.

  

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• lexakita

  

  April 2012

  Thank you!! I think i will have the AHR a couple weeks after the DW and send the Save the Dates, maybe 6 weeks-ish before the AHR.  I have a few family members that are OOT, so probably word of mouth a little before the save the dates, all of them would have to fly in. 
  
  I cant wait!! Super excited and now, i have to take my MOH and stepsister (BM) to look at their dresses, mine is all set already lol.  Im glad i can take my time and not have to worry so much about booking a dj, photographer, venue...big load off my mind, and wallet LOL
  
  Thanks again and im sure ill be posting with more questions.
  
  Congratulations to everyone too!!!
  

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