Catholic Weddings

Tuesday Questions!

Seems like everyone around me is pregnant, TTC, or just had a baby, so I've got pregnancy on the brain!

1.  What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?
2.  Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc
3.  Do you/will you BF?  What factors would you consider in making that decision?

 

Re: Tuesday Questions!

  • 1.  What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?
    In some ways I feel attracted to the idea of going all natural, no epidural.  I know few women who have done it, but the ones that have had no epidural AND epidural seem to prefer going without because they were less sore after, and felt that they were better able to bond with the baby right away because they weren't so groggy.  But...I also like the idea of minimizing pain, so yeah...we'll see lol!
    For C-sections, I say thank God they exist for emergency situations!!  However, I think that so many people are pushed into them when they're not necessary, and that bothers me.  C-sections aren't as good for Mom or Baby!  I think VBACs should be more encouraged...they can be perfectly safe, but from what I hear, doctors almost always push for C-sections after you've had just one. 
    I think home births have plenty of pros, including cost as well as having a calming/bonding atmosphere for the parents.  But I'd probably be too scared to have a home birth just in case something went wrong.
    2.  Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc.
    I will probably be pretty darn conservative, but I won't be extreme.  For instance, doctors say SOME caffeine is fine, so I'll have some, rather than completely abstaining from it.  I don't eat meat/fish, so those rules won't affect me.  I won't smoke/drink at all, though, even though doctors say that one glass of wine is okay.  I just would feel weird drinking when pregnant, you know?
    3.  Do you/will you BF?  What factors would you consider in making that decision?
    I will absolutely BF, barring any complications that would make it impossible (for instance, not producing milk...a friend of mine had that problem!).  The benefits of BF, plus the money saved, makes it a no-brainer for me.  Even though it requires some sacrifice and planning on the part of the mother, I think it's well worth it. 

     

  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited September 2012

    1.       1. What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?

    C-section is a very hot topic for me…I had one with my first that I believe was ENTIRELY unnecessary (and the doctor basically admitted later that it was, though at the time he was making all kinds of threats about what would happen if I didn’t go through with it.) DH & I spent my entire (pitocin-induced, non-pain-medicated) labor fighting him off. He decided about a week before my due date that there was no way I’d have a vaginal birth and IMO he did everything in his power to make sure he got his way. Now obviously I know some c/s are necessary but I think our rates in this country are seriously INSANE. WHO recommends I believe 10-15% for best outcomes and the US as a whole is at like 30%. The hospital where I delivered last time has a freaking 48% c/s rate and this doctor in particular wouldn’t even tell me his personal rate but I bet it’s 60% or higher judging by how he acted and things he said (like that he believes someday all births will be scheduled “just like every other surgery.” Um birth is not surgery under normal circumstances…)

    All that said, I am planning a VBAC this time and going to a practice of CNM’s that has a totally different outlook (and driving an hour each way to see them...there is definitely a VBAC-friendly-provider issue.) I am delivering at the hospital however…I am not against homebirth generally but for myself, having lost a child, I’m just not willing to go without or delay the emergency measures that are available at a hospital and not at a homebirth. Epidurals…I went without one until c/s time and don’t plan on one this time.

    2.  Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc

    I am probably middle of the road. I drop caffeine for the first trimester then go back to one cup of coffee a day after that. I don’t do deli meat though I have forgotten once or twice. I will eat tuna or other fish but not that often (maybe once a month) and all that stuff that is really high in mercury I don’t eat anyway pregnant or not. I do definitely give up raw things like sushi etc. I also don’t touch artificial sweeteners but I don’t remember much of that is the recommended thing to do or if I just have a personal thing against them. I will drink an occasional (maybe once per 2-3 weeks) small glass of wine with dinner in the third trimester.


    3.  Do you/will you BF?  What factors would you consider in making that decision?

     Yes, I did for the time my first son was here & I plan to again. It was kind of always something I just assumed I’d do and I feel pretty strongly about it—it wasn’t really a weigh-the-pros-and-cons decision. It came really easily for me though which I know isn’t always the case.

    Our little saint, 12/18/2010-12/28/2010

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/2hnyji0.jpg[/IMG]
  • edited September 2012
    Maybe because I'm fan of doing things the way nature intended, I take a pro-vaginal, non-epidural stance. I can understand a c-section if it's absolutely necessary, but as Caitriona said it occurs far more often than medically necessary. Home birthing really appeals to me. From what I understand, an ambulance can be on standby in case of emergency. i think it would be so great to have a child in the comfort of your own home. Eons better than being admitted into a hospital where mother and child are more likely to be exposed to infection.

    I don't drink caffeine now, so I would never while pregnant. If I can make food/ beverages at home from fresh ingredients, I absolutely will. I'd avoid fish because of the mercury thing, but also we're not big fish eaters anyway. It wouldn't be a loss.

    I will definitely BF. Cost efficient, healthy, and bonding for mother and child. Really, I have never heard a good argument for not BFing, unless there's a risk of passing along infection- or the obvious lack of actual production. If you can, you should. That's why it's there. Then again, I also plan to make my own baby food and cloth diaper. That may be more work than some are willing to handle, I but i honestly believe it's the best and most cost-conscious approach.
    image
    Ovarian cyst lapro: '01, '04, '09 Conal biopsy: '01- results negative Dilation: '03 for cervical scarring Pcos test: '05, FSH and LH normal Mirena removed July '12 My Ovulation Chart
  • You know, I'm really interested in cloth diapers.  I don't really know anyone who does it, though, so I'm just not sure about it.  Cost wise and environment wise, it just makes a lot of sense.

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-questions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:5c8a4faa-a6a6-4382-b071-cc94ffd177b8Post:518c0b02-46d8-4b2f-8171-d83bfbfcc6b3">Re: Tuesday Questions!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You know, I'm really interested in cloth diapers.  I don't really know anyone who does it, though, so I'm just not sure about it.  Cost wise and environment wise, it just makes a lot of sense.
    Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

    Almost everybody I know does it...it does seem like it can get a bit confusing between all the varieties that are available, but we're planning on doing it after the first few weeks. From what I hear, newborns are too small for a lot of them and you'll just get a bunch of leaks.
    Our little saint, 12/18/2010-12/28/2010

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/2hnyji0.jpg[/IMG]
  • http://allaboutclothdiapers.com/my-top-5-cloth-diaper-covers/

    This website was highly recommended by a friend and after having read through it, I'm pretty confident we could make it work.

    image
    Ovarian cyst lapro: '01, '04, '09 Conal biopsy: '01- results negative Dilation: '03 for cervical scarring Pcos test: '05, FSH and LH normal Mirena removed July '12 My Ovulation Chart
  • 1. What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?

    If I'm able, I'd like to have a natural birth with no epidural.  I've heard some women say that getting the epidural itself is pretty painful, and just the idea of having something injected into my spine makes my stomach churn.  My mom had all six of us with no epidurals, and it went fine, so I'm hoping I can be equally as tough.  I'd prefer not to be all drugged up during labor, but it's possible that I'll change my mind when actually in the situation. 

    I only know a few people who've had to have C-sections, and from what I know it sounds like in their situations the C-section was necessary, although I have heard that the overall rate of C-sections in the US seems fairly high.  One person I know had to natural deliveries and then her third child by c-s, and she said the c-section was the worst as far as pain and recovery time.  I really hope I can avoid that.

    I don't think I'd ever consider a home birth - I'd be way too worried that a complication would arise or something would happen. I would definitely consider looking into a nurse midwife or other type of practitioner besides an MD, but would want to be in a hospital either way. 

    2. Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc

    I think it'll be really difficult for me to cut out some of those things (caffiene for sure!) but I know I'll try my hardest - especially for my first pregnancy, where I'll be paranoid about EVERYTHING. I really don't eat much tuna fish or any type of fish, so that won't be hard to cut out. Deli meat will just take a little while to get used to, I'll have to come up with alternatives for lunch besides sandwiches/Subway. I do like to go out for sushi, but some of my favorite rolls have no raw fish or any type of fish (I love sweet potato tempura rolls, and recently tried an avocado/peanut roll that was yummy). I will miss the occasional glass of wine, but will definitely give that up - even if my doctor said it was OK once in awhiile, I'd feel so bad drinking while pregnant.

    3. Do you/will you BF? What factors would you consider in making that decision
    I definitely plan to breastfeed, unless it's somehow physically impossible for me.  I really never considered not breastfeeding, I just always assumed that's what I'd do. I find it so strange to hear people say that they'd never breastfeed because it's "weird" (I think I read recently about some celebrity who said it would be weird/creepy to have her baby latched onto her boobs) - my thought is, that's what they're there for!

    4. cloth diapers - never really thought about that.  I'll have to check out some more info on those.  I'd always thought that'd be so much more work and not really worth it, but I guess I never really looked into it.
  • 1.  What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?
    I don't really have an opinion on epidurals.  I think I'd like to try going without.  C-Sections, I agree with PPs.  I think so many of them are unnecessary.  I even have a friend who scheduled hers just like surgeries and was annoyed that she couldn't get the day she wanted.  It's a baby.  God's plan for pregnancy has worked just fine for millenia, why would you mess with it?  
    I am having my baby(ies) in a hospital.  I agree with catiriona -- I just couldn't stand being away from medical help if something went wrong.  Another friend of mine had hers at a "birthing center" and has been sure to give me all kinds of unsolicited advice.  I know she means well, but I'm just not on board.
    2.  Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc
    I guess I will be pretty conservative, but I'm glad to hear from a mom who sometimes "breaks the rules."  I am a huge foodie and I hate the idea of giving some of that stuff up.  =(  Plus sandwiches are like the easiest thing to make for school, so the deli meat thing made me sad.
    3.  Do you/will you BF?  What factors would you consider in making that decision?
    Absolutely.  It has amazing health benefits for the kid.  I certainly don't want to be one of those moms who breastfeeds a seven-year-old, but I wouldn't pass that up.
    Anniversary

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  • 1.  What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?
    I went back and forth, round and round on the epidural issue. When labor actually hit, I was the girl in the movies begging for the epi. I'm sooo happy with my decision. I had a reasonably quick, easy labor and was rested for a similarly easy delivery. We were definitely able to do skin-to-skin and breastfeeding right away.

    C-sections, I agree should only be done when medically necessary, but it is hard when your/your baby's life/health may be on the line to really judge that line. I think liking and trusting your doctor is important. I wish I had had a better sense of that when choosing my doc though things still turned out ok. VBACS should, IMO, be the first choice for those moms who had a section the first time.

    I'm not a fan of homebirths. I think medical staff should be readily available if things do go wrong, because when they do, it gets dangerous fast (and often unexpectedly).

    2.  Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc
    Totally depends on the rule. I drank (reduced amounts of) caffeine throughout my pregnancy. I didn't touch deli meat, soft cheese, or alcohol (actually had an aversion to it anyway). I avoided artificial sweeteners (it is a rule, but I avoid them anyway). I'm not a big fish eater and have never smoked, so those were non-issues.

    3.  Do you/will you BF?  What factors would you consider in making that decision?
    Definitely BFing. It is a non-issue for me. If God allowed me to do it, I was going to. It has been easy for us from the get-go. My main consideration, really, is how long I will continue (probably a year).
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Resa, We cloth diaper (or CD for short :) ) I LOVE it! And it turns into kind of an obsession because there are so many cute varieties out there for that cute little baby bum! If you have questions,  you can definitely ask. There's also a greata forum on the bump for cloth diapers. Starting out can be super confusing.

    As for the questions..
    1. I did an unmedicated vaginal birth in the hospital. The hospital where I delivered is very low-intervention, pro-"natural" and is well known as being a great hospital for delivering (of course it is a Catholic hospital, too!). I think their C-section rate is 12% or something. Yes, C-sections are a fantastic medical intervention when necessary, but I think everyone can agree they are performed more than they need to be.

    I went in with a very open mind about the whole process - I didn't flat-out say I wouldn't use any pain medication or any type of intervention, but I wanted to see exactly how things went first. To me, I figured I would never know how much worse it would be before the end - maybe when I would decide on the epidural I would be only an hour away from having the baby in my arms. And looking back, you really truly don't remember the pain. It's seriously the weirdest thing. What an amazing trick of nature! Also, the thought of a humongous needle in my spine was scarier to me than any contractions. And I also wanted to move around during labor which you cannot do with an epidural.

    2. I was pretty conservative when I was pregnant, just because that is what felt right for me. I tried to eat healthier in general, really. After the first trimester, anyway. At the beginning food sounded awful to me so I basically ate anything that sounded good to me at the time - I remember eating a lot of potato chips and the doctor saying "just eat what you can!" :)

    3. I am actually still breastfeeding my little guy and he just turned one. In the beginning I was basically counting down the days until his first birthday so I could quit. But the benefits to both him and me are so great and I've really gotten so used to it that we're nursing into toddlerhood. Not too often, but still enough to give him the immunological benefits and bonding time... and because I can still eat a few extra calories and get away with it ;) That is seriously one fantastic thing about breastfeeding (out of many) - I am down about 5-10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight due to nursing. And I certainly have not changed my diet.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

  • Rather than hitting each question individually, I'll just say I plan to be as crunchy/natural as possible when I have a baby.

    Ideally, I'd like a water birth, at home, with a midwife.  And with as little interference as possible.  And I want to breastfeed, probably co-sleep, use cloth diapers, babywear, etc.

    Of course I KNOW that things happen.  You have to be flexible, and you can't be dogmatic about these things.  If any of these things are not right for me or baby, then I'll try another way. 

    But I'd like to really try for all of these things.  More natural the process, and closer to the baby the better. 

    Everytime I mention that I'm in favor of any of these things (co-sleeping, natural birth, home birth, long term breastfeeding, etc.) to my mom, she just rolls her eyes and says that she can't wait until I change my mind and realize how unrealistic it is.  It actually really irritates me, so I must admit, part of my motivation is to prove to her that yes, it is possible (and I already know it is--plenty of women do it!).

    Even though I want all these things, I would never judge a woman for her choice.  A woman shouldn't feel judged no matter what choice she makes in this regard (unless it was something obviously harmful like smoking or something).  And we should be able to have an honest conversation with each other other things like breastfeeding, natural birth, etc. without either side getting their feelings hurt.  Women seem to get really defensive when it sounds like you're critiquing the choices they made with their babies.

    SaveSave
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-questions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:5c8a4faa-a6a6-4382-b071-cc94ffd177b8Post:3576800a-1d24-473a-9cc1-f3c6972fb13b">Re: Tuesday Questions!</a>:
    [QUOTE] Even though I want all these things, I would never judge a woman for her choice.  A woman shouldn't feel judged no matter what choice she makes in this regard (unless it was something obviously harmful like smoking or something).  And we should be able to have an honest conversation with each other other things like breastfeeding, natural birth, etc. without either side getting their feelings hurt.  Women seem to get really defensive when it sounds like you're critiquing the choices they made with their babies.
    Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

    I think that this is because being a parent is <strong>way</strong> harder than it looks on paper. No matter how prepared you are, you're not. I don't care how many little brothers and sisters you have or how much babysitting you've done or how long you've worked in daycare, or whatever, when it is your baby, your responsibility, and not just your life, but someone else's, suddenly it is really, really real. You do the best you can with what you've got when you've got it. You make choices that you wouldn't make in other situations or that others wouldn't make in your situation. Lots of moms have a way of seeming very judgemental about certain choices, even minor ones, and it is hard to take when you've made a (possibly very difficult) decision to do differently, or when you wish you could make a different choice. Sleep deprivation and hormones do not help in the early months, but I don't think it gets much better as babies get older.

    I love your attitude of support, Monkey, so I wasn't trying to bash or anything, just following up on your thoughts, perhaps because the "mom judging" is a real struggle for lots of women, including myself either or the giving, receiving or perceived end of things.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited September 2012
    Another thing that really bothers me is early inductions.  I'm pretty sure around here it's about 75% of babies who are induced early, and about 60% seem to end in c/s.  Doctors use inaccurate methods to calculate due dates anyway, so what getes me is: what if their "due date" is actually a week or two early, and they incude two weeks early?  That really bothers me.  

     

  • AlexaNPAlexaNP member
    100 Comments
    edited September 2012
    1. What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?
    I don't see anything wrong with epidurals.  That should definitely be the mother's decision.  I really didn't want to have one, but it got to the point where I changed my mind.  Unfortunately, it only worked for about 20 minutes and wore off.  I'm not sure if it wasn't administered correctly or what.  So for future children, I will definitely not have an epidural since I made it through the first time basically without!  I agree with everyone else that C-Sections can be an important saving medical procedure but they are used too often.  And I think VBACs are a great option!  Especially if the C-Section was because of medical reasons and the mother really didn't want it the first time around.  I know a lot of hospitals (at least around here) don't have that as an option, but my hospital does, it is one of the top 5-10% in the nation for maternity care!

    2. Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc
    Moderate. I didn't do ANYTHING bad for the first trimester, but I did have a very small amount of caffeine the resto f the time. I followed the rules on fish and everything else though. I'm of the mindset that I'd rather err on the side of being too careful because otherwise I'd never be able to forgive myself if something DID happen.

    3. Do you/will you BF? What factors would you consider in making that decision?
    Yes!  To me, it just seems like the obvious decision.  Cheaper, easy (once mom & baby both catch on), portable!  Plus it's the best thing for mom & baby (much easier than exercising for losing that baby weight too!).  For my daughter, my goal was to BF for 6 months, but she started losing interest around 4.5-5 months, and wouldn't eat enough so we had to supplement with bottles and introduced other food. But every baby is different, so for future children, I plan to have my 6 month goal as well.

    EDIT:  I should point out that I did have to go back to work around 2.5-3 months, so when I say "BF" I also include the time when I would pump at work and my daughter would have bottles of breast milk during the day.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I agree about inductions!! I think they are used way too often.  They should also be reserved for medical reasons or when babies are far enough past their due date that it may become an issue.  Very good example: my cousin was 10 days past her due date and they finally induced.  She managed to have a vaginal birth with her daughter who was 10 lbs 5 oz!  If they had waited much longer, she probably would have had to have a C-section.  Therefore, when she was due to have her son a little less than a year later, they induced a few days before her due date, so she would be able to have a natural birth and the baby wouldn't be too large, and sure enough, her son was born at *only* 9 lbs 3 oz.

    But way too many people use it as an excuse when they just want to be able to time the birth themselves, or are tired of being pregnant and want to give birth sooner rather than later.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2012
    1. What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?
    No real opinions on epidurals.  Id avoid c-section at all cost, if possible.  I get why people do home births, but for me personally, id want to be in a hospital as i dont want to clean up the mess!

    2. Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc
    I personally think too many take this to an extreme.  Our mothers  and grandmothers ate most of this stuff that's "forbidden" and on top of that many of them smoked.  We all turned out just fine.  Now i wouldnt eat cold cuts daily, but a sandwich here and there isnt going to do anything IMO.  id still drink coffee, but id probably cut down.  id also even have probably one glass of wine per week. 

    3. Do you/will you BF? What factors would you consider in making that decision?
    Id probably breast feed exclusively if i had the luxury (and desire) of staying home.  Its the best way to build a child's immunity to many things, naturally.  However, my kid would probably end up formula fed at least part of the time. 
  • Jasmine&RajahJasmine&Rajah member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited September 2012
    This is going to be long - you've been forewarned!  ;-)

    1.  What are your feelings on no epidural vs epidural, c-section, VBACs, home birth, etc?


    I really would have loved to deliver our little one in a birthing center, which would have been a setting closer to a home birth.  However, after the miscarriages I was technically high-risk, so there was no way my doctor and specialist were letting that happen.  I was induced at 40 weeks in the hospital (which, thank God, has such a wonderful maternity ward that it didn't have a "hospital feel" at all - a major blessing in my mind.  Since I've had another loss since then, we'll probably go the same route with this baby if she doesn't appear on her own before 40 weeks.)

    I vehemently didn't want the epidural.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I was afraid of it (the release you have to sign was straight-up frightening to me.)  But after 24 hours of labor and not much progress, I couldn't bear the thought of staying in the cycle of "pain with no purpose."  Our little boy was born six hours after the epidural (which epidural didn't do much for the trial of pushing at the end, but at the very least, it did move things along.)

    2.  Do you consider yourself more conservative or liberal when it comes to following "pregnancy rules" such as caffeine, deli meat, tuna fish, etc

    I take everything into consideration, and I always make sure I'm on the same page with my doctors!  I enjoy coffee, so I'll have one cup in the morning (and maaaaybe a little decaf later on.)  Tuna fish is fine as long as you only consume the appropriate amount (there are some fish that are very high in mercury that my doctor advises staying away from, though.)  I do avoid cold deli meats entirely because the concern there is listeria, and it only takes one bite of contaminated meat to contract that.

    3.  Do you/will you BF?  What factors would you consider in making that decision?

    I prayed that I would have no problem with nursing, and after the first six weeks, it was SO natural and easy, and I loved  it.  Our son's pediatrician was also my lactation consultant, and she was amazingly supportive, and helped me identify the food in my diet that was irritating the baby, guided DH and I on what I should be eating and drinking to aid milk production, etc.  I credit her with being a major part of why I was able to nurse for so long.  And aside from all the medical - and financial! - benefits, it was my "snuggle and cuddle" time with the baby.  I miss it so much - and praying that I can nurse the new baby with as much success.

    A important point on this topic is this . . . we learned that it is crucial to make sure that the baby will not reject a bottle.  We gave our little boy pumped milk in a bottle about once a month - not often, but just in case.  That turned out to be a great blessing when I had to go to the ER one night when the baby was not even four months old.  :*(  While our friends took me to the hospital, DH stayed home with the baby and had to give him multiple bottles during the night, because I was gone for hours (fortunately I had remembered to take the pump with me - ha!)

    Whew . . . if you've made it this far, God bless you!
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