Having it on a weekday?

Jinin813 · May 2011

Is it okay to have the wedding on a Thursday? Figured it could give the out of town guests especially, a nice long weekend but the local guests may have to take off work. Has anyone had good or bad experience with this?

I want to have the wedding on a Thursday because the venue is waaaay too expensive on the weekends.

em01092 · May 2011

I think it depends on your guests. Some of them may have to take off work for the weekends anyway.

For me, having a weekday wedding might have actually been better, well for some. A lot of our friends work weekends, and about half of our guest list is retired adults from our churches, so they are free almost any day of the week. It would have put out my college friends though, who may have had to miss tests or something, along with those few who work the 9-5 Mon-Fri.

So I would evaluate your guest list and see what works best. You won't be able to please everyone either way, most likely. Just as a rule, expect fewer "attending" RSVPs, especially from distant family and old friends if you have it on Thursday. I think its nice you considered giving them a long weekend but some of your OOTs may not be able to afford that much time off.

When is your wedding? If you do pick Thursday, I would definitely do STDs early so guests can have as much advance notice as possible that Thursday is your date.

mandi921vh · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_having-weekday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:961068db-4048-423a-a3d2-fb5794e8c25ePost:765e47d8-c728-459b-945a-8c4cf1530fee">Re: Having it on a weekday?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it depends on your guests. Some of them may have to take off work for the weekends anyway. For me, having a weekday wedding might have actually been better, well for some. A lot of our friends work weekends, and about half of our guest list is retired adults from our churches, so they are free almost any day of the week. It would have put out my college friends though, who may have had to miss tests or something, along with those few who work the 9-5 Mon-Fri. So I would evaluate your guest list and see what works best. You won't be able to please everyone either way, most likely. Just as a rule, expect fewer "attending" RSVPs, especially from distant family and old friends if you have it on Thursday<strong>. I think its nice you considered giving them a long weekend but some of your OOTs may not be able to afford that much time off. When is your wedding? If you do pick Thursday, I would definitely do STDs early so guests can have as much advance notice as possible that Thursday is your date. </strong>
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mbatzlaff · May 2011

I was invited to a wedding last year that was on a Thursday. My FI and I declined because it was 5 hours from where we live and we were struggling college students. It was too difficult for us with work schedules and missing school. I'm going to be honest with you...we thought it was a real inconvenience (like they didn't really want OOT people to come anyway). Also if it's on a Thursday you may get people who leave right after the dinner so that they can work Friday morning. I think if you plan for a Thursday you will likely find that more people decide not to come...but that may be ok if you are trying to save money. I've been to weddings on Fridays and Sundays as well and those seem to be ok days if you wanted to save money. I think you should do what you think is right but if you do have it on Thursday there will likely be some people who don't come and think it's a bad idea.

blush64 · May 2011

I think it's ok to have your wedding whenever you want as long as you understand that a lot of guests might not be able to attend. It also depends on your intended guests.

In my family a weekday wedding would not be received well. It would be seen as bad manners because to make it less expensive for me I would be putting out all of my guests. A Friday night wouldn't be as bad because people wouldn't need to take off time from work. (my family only) If your guests have different schedules or would not really care about time off from work then it could work just fine.

It's only really giving someone a long weekend if they are paid for the days off, otherwise they are jsut out a couple days of work and not everyone can afford that. (even with planning) Just consider all your options and do what is right for you and your guests.

Learox87 · May 2011

I would be the most concerned with people who are still in school.

I don't know when you are planning on actually having the wedding, but maybe you could do it the Thursday before Good Friday? Most schools, and some businesses are closed on that Friday so people at least wouldn't have to worry about work the next day. Or maybe time it around Spring Break so students and people with young children who may be off anyway would at least be able to attend.

I know how you feel because my wedding is on a Sunday, but I planned it for Columbus Day weekend so it wouldn't be as much of an inconvenience. It's not as much fun to party when you know you have work the next morning!!

Good luck!

aegrish · May 2011

Friday wedding are incovenient for me because I have to take off work early usually. But I still go if it's a close friend or family member. Weekday weddings would REALLY inconvenience me (whether it was local or OOT) but again if it was a close friend or family member I'd still go. If you REALLY want to be considerate of your guests and their time off work and travel days, a Friday or Monday would be most ideal. Thursday would require a lot of guests to take 2 days off. Even a Monday would. Are you going to save THAT much by having your wedding in the middle of the week? If so and it's worth it to risk making it inconvenient for a lot of your guests to come...then go for it.

aegrish · May 2011

or find a venue that's not AS expensive on the weekend

kristeno90 · May 2011

My FI and I are only having 20 guests at our wedding. Since it is going to be an intimate ceremony we talked to each person to see what worked best for them .After talking to everyone the common "good day" was a Tuesday. SO we are getting married next Tuesday (May 17th).

redheadfsu · May 2011

For the OOT guests they have to take Thursday & Friday off of work. Most people can't afford to do that. I would only take two days off of work for very close family (but I would annoyed at them for making me do it). For the locals they will most likely arrive late or leave early as the have work.

Really, you will not be helping anyone by having a Thursday wedding. But if you want to, you can. You just have to understand you might have a higher decline rate or have guests not stay as late. But of course, you know your guest list better than us.

MyNameIsNot · May 2011

You really have to think about your guest list. If most of your guests are retired/work weekends/are independantly wealthy and don't have normaly M-F schedules, a Thursday would work great. But if most of your guests are M-F people, you need to find a venue that you can afford on the weekend.

While some people will gladly take the vacation day or two to come to your wedding, many guests cannot take the day off, regardless of how much they want to. Not everyone has paid PTO, and most that do don't have much to spare. Most people only have about 10 vacation days a year. If they plan to take a week long vacation and a few days around the holidays, an extra 2 for your wedding is a lot. Asking your guests to take 2 vacation days to come to your wedding is a real imposition, and means that you'll have a large number of declines.

Like PP said, you risk sending the message that you planned it this way because you don't really want them to come.

If you'd have a Saturday wedding if it wasn't for the budget issue, I think you need to pick a new venue.

Madisonpenny · May 2011

heck I'd go.. excuse for a day off? Im in =D

cdavislynn · May 2011

I'm having a Thursday wedding. So far, out of 200 invites, I have heard 3 negative comments/feedback from people. One of those 2 said she can't come because of the day.
I checked with people on my guestlist via mass emails and phone calls. Almost everyone was ok with it. Most of my friends and family members have jobs where they can, and want to take vacation. Most of them are turning it into a long weekend vacation of sorts.
Like someone in a PP said, you know your guest list better than we do, and I think that is the biggest factor in making this decision. If most of the people who really matter to you are in college, have jobs with no vacation pay or inflexible schedules, or can't afford to take work off, then maybe a Thursday wedding isn't for you, and you could find a cheaper venue.
I feel like weekday weddings are similar to destination weddings in a lot of ways: they are inconvenient to most of the guest list, they cost guests money (destination weddings more so), they most likely will result in less people attending. However, no one criticizes destination weddings! But a destination wedding is the choice of the couple, and they just decide that the pros outweigh the cons, for them. Not everyone else. I guess you just have to also decide if you are OK with a smaller guest attendance, and people possibly going home early.

jenajjthr · May 2011

Ditto the PP's in that only you know your guest list and what will work for them. I get how any day but a Saturday wedding saves who is paying money, but I couldn't expect my friends and family to cover that cost by making them take time off of work that may or may not be paid.

I had my heart set on a Sat. in October, but when we found out it was a race weekend that weekend we instantly changed dates. Hotel rooms typically double during race weekend and I couldn't ask my OOT friends and family to pay double the normal cost. A date isn't as important as having friends and family there to witness it.

MobKaz · May 2011

One other perspective to consider: My brother and his then-to-be bride married on a Thursday evening. They were an "older" couple (35-ish), and as a result, many of us siblings were married with children. Having the wedding on a weeknight during the school year made it almost impossible to find a babysitter. By the time we found a sitter even allowed to babysit on a school night, we nearly had to take a blood oath to pledge we would return no later than 10:00 PM.

Hays2be · May 2011

We're getting married on a Thursday. Nearly half our guest list is coming from out of town. We couldn't ask all of our coworkers, so we invited just a few each, plus some other mutual friends.

Our OOTers are either going on to other places (parents and brother to family reunion, aunt and uncle to FL) or going to hit up the beach while here. They took full or partial weeks of vacation to be here.

We originally tentatively set May 21 as our date, then both families from St Louis said they wanted to come, but the kids don't get out of school until June 1. So, they HAVE to come. We moved the date for them. Thursday came about because my parents will need Friday to travel to the reunion.

One huge benefit--smaller, more intimate guest list, and smaller costs.

If you do a weeknight, make sure your "must be there" guests can make it. Then go for it!

Milsey32 · May 2011

I would only attend a Thursday wedding if it was less than an hour away, had an open bar, plenty of chocolate, good music, and effin awesome food. So basically, if it's less than an hour away, I'd show up after work (I would not leave early unless it was family/close friend) and hope that I could have a good time. It'd be annoying though..

I feel bad enough having a Friday wedding (but I couldn't resist getting married on 11-11-11!) ... I would not even imagine having a Thursday wedding! (unless it was at the courthouse, I suppose)

Having it on a weekday?

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