Name Change - Different From Kids

NJhousewife22 · January 2011

I'm going back and forth on the name change thing (I really don't want to change mine) but was wondering what the implications/issues are in the future of not having the same last name as our kids. What issues have any of you ladies with kids that don't have your last names run into?

peaches85 · January 2011

My cousin has her father's last name and her mother kept her maiden name. People always think her parents are divorced or that her mother isn't really her birth mother which makes things annoying, if not uncomfortable, for her at times. And when she was much younger she had trouble understanding why all of her friends had the same last name as both their parents, but she didn't.

Aside from that, she hasn't had any issues that I'm aware of.

goaliegirl · January 2011

I can't really remember from when I was a kid...but working in an elementary school, when I see kids with different last names from the parents, I always stop to wonder if the parents are divorced and check to make sure who is the proper person to contact if there is a problem etc. It really isn't a big deal, but people will think that probably.

felicia220 · January 2011

Because of the reasons that the PP just mentioned, I decided to Hyphenate my name. I really wanted to keep my maiden name and honestly I probably use it more than my married name. I did think about how it would effect our future children and figured that hyphenating was the best solution.

uppereastgirl · January 2011

I have to think that it will be different for our generations' kids, because people are getting married later and farther into their careers, so more women are keeping their maiden names. I know when I was young it was really weird to me that I had one friend whose parents were still married but her mom had kept her maiden name -- but that was really unusual back then. My sister has mentioned that a lot of kids in my niece's pre-school class have moms with different last names.

altimat873 · January 2011

I know what you mean, I am soooo torn. Its like you have your name for 29 yrs (well for me) then all of a sudden you have a new name? So weird to me. If I hyphen my last name will be sooo long, and its bad enough people butcher my FI's last name, I cant imagine both of them. BUT I have that feeling that I dont want my children to have a different last name as me, as pp said, people wondering what the deal is etc. Im teetering with making my middle name my maiden last name or keeping both names and no hyphen - this way I can use either one. Big huge decision, good luck!

goaliegirl · January 2011

I ended up changing my name because I didn't want my children to have a different last name as me. With my job, I actually hyphenate my last name for things, because not all the parents remember that I got married and changed my name so it is easier. Legally, my last name is changed, but I still use my maiden name for certain things and it is fine.

melliott09 · January 2011

I kept my married name after my divorce, so I'd have the same name as my 2 boys. After meeting someone else, we have a child together, and now I do have a different last name from my youngest. We get married in April, and I was torn too about hyphenating, but I do not want to carry on my ex's name. In current times, I think it's much more common to see divorced situations with kids in school.

Legally, I will have the same last name as only my youngest son, but for my older boys, I will hyphenation only when I fill out their school papers, so there is that association with their last names to me, for the schools sake.

shoebie · January 2011

I am keeping my name, our daughter has my last name and after the wedding if we decide for more children they will have his last name. Its just a name i have never had someone stop and ask why our daughters name was mine and not my fi's. My name is my identity and i don't think that should have to be changed to prove your love ask any man to take your name and they will prob laugh at you.

felicia220 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_name-change-different-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:eddce2c2-5b73-4cb5-92b3-eabf162fb687Post:eaefc4b7-9a18-4534-b4cf-f3ff5c349530">Re: Name Change - Different From Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]or keeping both names and no hyphen - this way I can use either one.
Posted by altimat873[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what I meant, I don't know if they actually Hyphenate names anymore, legally I have no hyphen, just both names. I guess I should have clarified that. </div><div>
</div><div>And yes, I legally use both, I can sign a check with either one or a credit card receipt with either one. It is kinda nice. </div>

kmleon83 · January 2011

as a kid with a different last name than her mother i never had problems with it. my mom got remarried when i was 8 and took my stepdad's name. personally, i've never felt weird about it..it's just how it's always been. i live in a small town and pretty much everyone knows my mom and that i'm her daughter, despite the name difference. looking back, had i known my biological father would have turned out to be a super deadbeat, i would have asked to take my stepdad's name too.

there has only been one hiccup i can recall and that was very recently. my guy's mother didn't know that our names were different so she had sent a card to my parents addressed with my last name until he told her we had different last names. she was embarrased, but my parents have been used to being called by. my last name by my friends so they just laughed it off.

Name Change - Different From Kids

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