Now, before anyone says anything angry to me, please read this all the way through, even though I know it's really long.
I had 5 bridesmaids, and had another person I wanted to ask (to make it 6), but my parents wouldn't let me (something about too many people up there, not enough space, the expense, since they're paying for part of the BM dress, etc). Since they're paying for the wedding, it was out of my hands.
Anyway, my MOH is my sister, and my BMs were 2 friends from high school, a friend from college, and a really close family friend. This focuses around the friend from college.
We'd been friends for several years, and she had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor about 2 years before I got engaged. I was devastated at the news, and have tried to do everything I can to be there for her.
So, I was able to collect 3 of my BMs to go dress shopping (The 2 high school friend, and the college friend). I went in with something in mind, but told all of them I was open to other ideas.
So we get to the store, and all hell breaks loose. First she complains about my color choice. Then the fabric. Then the dress that I had originally looked at. That part didn't bother me, so I suggested we look at other dresses, but said that the color and the fabric weren't up for discussion.
So she goes and gets a dress that is completely inappropriate for my wedding. Her chest is hanging out, the skirt is super short, and it's practically backless. My family and my FI's family are fairly conservative, and with my family, due to religious reasons, the sleeves thing is a problem that we're just going to deal with.
I tried to explain this to her, and she throws a huge fit, and starts talking to the other BMs and the lady who worked at the store about it, trying to get them to bully me into it (along the lines of if we bother her enough, she will give in, to avoid the drama). None of them agreed.
Finally, I got them all to put on the other dress, which looked lovely on all of them. She complained about the high back, because she wanted to cover her tattoos. i explained that, due to my family, the exposed tattoos were a problem. She started sulking. Then, after getting her measurements, she stormed out without really saying goodbye.
I was really upset about all the drama, and I wondered if maybe her health was acting up, so I figured I would call her the next day to see if everything was ok. When I called, she didn't answer, but then responded with a text, saying that she was busy, what was up? So I said that I just wanted to see if she was ok, because she hadn't seemed like herself. She then shot back that she felt like no one was listening to her, and that we were being mean to her. I tried to be understanding and talk with her about it (all through text, since she wouldn't answer the phone), but she just kept getting more and more hostile, and finally said, "Well, I don't think I want to be in your wedding if you're going to be like this." The only response I could think of was to say something along the lines of, if that's how you feel, then I have to respect your wishes. I hope you'll still come to the wedding. She then informed me that she wouldn't.
Several days later, she texted me, hostile once again, demanding to know why she'd been fired from my wedding. When I reminded her she had said she didn't want to be in it, she didn't respond to that, except to say she'd been sick, and that's why she wouldn't answer the phone.
After that, I ended up asking the other person I had wanted to have in my wedding. I guess it's a replacement, but not in the way some people have talked about- it certainly wasn't a consolation prize, and she was someone I sincerely wanted in my wedding to begin with, but was unable to include.
Needless to say, the original BM and I are no longer friends, which makes me really sad.
So I guess this is another side to the bridesmaid coin, but also a little bit of a cautionary tale. I'm definitely with the other posters on this subject, that you shouldn't fire someone because they're not doing things for your wedding (I've got one of those too- my BMs are fulll of all sorts of fun drama), nor should you generally replace someone, unless there's a specific circumstance.
Just my 2 cent's worth.