NFP Question and Ceremony Photos

GeorgiaPeachMarie · July 2011

My H and I were talking about our options before we got married. We ended up selecting BC because we had waited six years and honestly we were tired of waiting. We waited too late to feel comfortable about starting NFP. We've been married for 42 days and H has started bringing it up again. I feel as though there are some annoying side effects of BC so I am open to reconsidering. My concern is that (probably TMI) I usually have zero to very little CM. I am afraid I'll misread signals. We are not in any position to have children right now. Any advice?

Here are the ceremony pictures with our amazing guest priest. I love all of the pictures from the actual ceremony.

Absolute favorite. It was a candid shot immediately following the ceremony. I love this shot.

Riss91 · July 2011

Beautiful pictures!

I was in a similar sitution, but we didn't choose BC. We chose to abstain until we were comfortable with the method. I started charting pretty much the week we were married. I had my period on our honeymoon, so it wasn't a big deal anyway.

My advice is to try it out. It's not easy to be newlyweds and abstain, but not having to worry about the BC side effects and the toll it was taking on my body (plus the possibility of unknown abortion) is well worth it to me. Plus, when the time is right, you'll be a pro at charting and will give you an advantage at attaining pregnancy.

Calypso1977 · July 2011

i went off the Pill about 2 months after we married. i wished id done it sooner, but i was selfish and wanted sex on our HM.

once i went off, we abstained for about 3 months until i got the hang of it. i was fortunate - after 10 years+ on the pill, my cycles returned to normal (although my periods are much, much shorter which has be concerned).

it also might be that you have little CM becuase of the Pill. mine is defnitely more noticeable now than whe i was on it, and i noticed an increase in the first few months off as my body flushed the hormone. while we are thiking about TTC this fall, we've gone about 30 cycles now with TTA and had no issues.

abstaining sucked, but at the same time, it was short term pain for long term gain, so to speak. well worth it.

GeorgiaPeachMarie · July 2011

I have only been on the Pill for three months. I was talking about before I went on the pill. It was something I always noticed. I wish there was SOME kind of class we could take. I've looked on CCL and asked around. There are absolutely no classes being held in our area. Especially with the CM issue I wish there were a class I could take.

clearheavens · July 2011

Thanks for sharing your beautiful pictures! And we're glad to hear you're talking a bout NFP. I know the periods of abstinence seem like a pain but it really teaches us how to love each other truly and fully. Understanding our fertility and using NFP has been a blessing in our relationship.

I agree with Calypto, that BC may be drying you up, as well as anti-histamine drugs like Benedryl. I would look into getting off of BC and then getting the CCL home study book to teach myself. As long as you're on BC, the data will be skewed.

http://ccli.org/productsservices/nfp-instruction/home-study-course.php

catarntina · July 2011

Read TCOYF

You may also want to check into taking a class on creighton instead of sympto-thermal. Also, mucinex will little cervical mucus.

If you really cannot see it, try checking internally. It's one thing they recommed in TCOYF. Read it... seriously.

ootmother2 · July 2011

Love your photos!

Take your time, very few feel confident with any form of BC, including NFP. You'll get it down pat, don't worry. I'm sure many newly weds feel the same.

LOLways · July 2011

Yes, read TCOYF. I am 2/3 through and have learned lots already. I'm looking forward to being off of ABC.

newlyseliski · July 2011

Lovely images

I think BC eliminates or screws up the CM... so that may be why you aren't noticing any of the fertility signs! As difficult as it might be, abstaining to get the hang of NFP would be worth it... other ladies on here would know better about trying to learn it while TTA and coming off the pill. We took Creighton Method, but had the benefit of a local fertility center with regular classes and an instructor to meet with one-on-one to review my chart.

Also, if there's anything within a 1-2 hour drive... see if an individual instructor would be flexible enough to meet with you and your husband to determine how to best approach the transition and help you learn NFP. There's usually a cost associated with it... but compared to the long-term cost of the pill.. it's definitely worth it!

GeorgiaPeachMarie · July 2011

As I said before, I've only been on ABC for three months/two cycles. The lack of CM was before I started the ABC. We're still discussing our options. I've looked into the book and it seems to have a VERY steep learning curve.

catarntina · July 2011

TCOYF did not have a steep learning curve at all. It was an extremely easy read. Many many people have self taught themselves charting with TCOYF. If you check out the Trying to Conceive boards on the Bump they all promote TCOYF as a first step. It's a very easy read.

Riss91 · July 2011

Georgia, I think there are natural ways to boost CM - green tea is supposed to help, plus drinking a lot of water, avoiding antihistimines (if possible) and I think I heard grapefruit juice, too. Also, checking for CM internally will make it easier to see.

Calypso1977 · July 2011

i think the section of TCOYF that summed it up best was the blurb where she writes out the steps to tying your shoes. if you write out every step of how to do it, then yes, it sounds SUPER hard/complicated to learn. she equates that with TCOYF - if you look at all the steps and things to do, yes, it seems complicated, but once you do it, its very simple. it gets easier with time, too. there's even a "shortcuts" chapter but its not recommended you do those until you are extremely comfortable with the method.

GeorgiaPeachMarie · July 2011

We ended up placing an order for the book and the thermometer on amazon today. Because I have prime membership it will be here tomorrow. So we should be starting on Wednesday with temps. I am skeptical but we'll see. For those with the book does it include pictures? I am a highly visual learner and I'd like to see examples of what the different types look like. Reading a description is what is throwing me. I need to see this in action so to speak. Its just hard because it is cervical mucous.

Riss91 · July 2011

There are pics in TCOYF - good luck and we're here to help!

catarntina · July 2011

It has a lot of pictures, and a lot of visual aids for the different charts.

The software is pretty cool, too! Not the online version -- that's crap. But the trial software that comes with the book was really good. I eneded up buying it.

GeorgiaPeachMarie · July 2011

Well I've started reading TCOYF. I do think it is really informative. I feel as though the author is trying to sell me something. I have always been like clockwork so hopefully I'll go back to how I was before the three months/two cycles. It seems to have a steep learning curve but deceptively easy at the same time. We're beginning charting temps tomorrow and looking for CM.

lalaith50 · July 2011

I know what you mean about feeling like the author is trying to "sell you something," because, well, she is.

She believes so strongly in her perspective- from a completely non-religious perspective!

I love when she brings up questions that I always wonder why the so-called-"feminists" aren't asking, like why is the responsibility of taking the pill on the *woman*? Where's birth control for men? Why are doctors/pharmeceutical companies (obviuosly cuz they make MONEY off the pill) so slow to admit to the scientific/medical benefits of nfp? (so many people have stories of doctors who laugh when people say they are going to use nfp; well, those doctors are the naive ones! but why? what were they learning in med school?! And why aren't the negative side effects of ABC published more broadly? maybe cuz there's so much money in it?) etc...

Calypso1977 · July 2011

georgia, definitely fire away with questions as you go thru the book. we are all happy to help. i really think you will be amazed and enlightened.

i wll admit i was nervous the first few times we had sex on this method. but now, i fully trust it. my husband was initially skeptical, but he now fully believes it in and was trying to sell it to his brother.

GeorgiaPeachMarie · July 2011

I completely agree about the burden on women to be responsible lalaith. That part was interesting. AND I already learned something. I've never really taken my temp when I was well. It just never occurred to me. To this day, I'll go to the doctor feeling disgusting and only have a fever of 98.8 or so. This morning my resting temp was only 97.1 so that would be the 98.8 would be a fever for me. I guess 98.6 is just an average. Learn something new everyday. I am starting the part about TTA today. Even the CM part was informative as on most of the sample charts people are dry a good portion of the time. Maybe thats me? I think thats pretty good considering I only started yesterday.

lalaith50 · July 2011

yeah, before I started charting I was like, "what? I have mucus like all the time!" And then when I finished my first complete chart, I was like, "omg! I'm normal!" There was a very obvious point where there no more mucus!

epona225 · July 2011

Good luck!

I'll probably get flamed for this, but I've read a statistic that only 4% of Catholic couples actually use NFP. (I guess the rest either use some form of BC or have tons of kids.) So don't feel bad if you change your mind, you're in good company!

agapecarrie · July 2011

This may be true, but majority opinion doesn't determine moral truth. God is only offended by us doing things that are harmful to ourselves. BC is harmful against marriages...its not just an arbitrary rule the church made up.

Riss91 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-question-ceremony-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:60345a8c-884c-413d-9c54-75568c63a61aPost:79300117-ebb5-4933-84ea-59a17a3306c0">Re: NFP Question and Ceremony Photos</a>:
[QUOTE]Good luck! I'll probably get flamed for this, but I've read a statistic that only 4% of Catholic couples actually use NFP. (I guess the rest either use some form of BC or have tons of kids.) So don't feel bad if you change your mind, you're in good company!
Posted by epona225[/QUOTE]

This is not the best advice. Statistics do not determine right and wrong. If only 4% of people DIDN'T steal, would that make stealing okay?

Agape is right - truth is truth. Right and wrong are stable. Statistics may not fall in line, but it doesn't change what is right, wrong or true. It's dangerous to base what is right and wrong off of changing societal trends.

Calypso1977 · July 2011

as my priest often says, "the church is not a democracy". mob rule does not determine what's right or wrong or what the rules are.

Jay&Marissa · July 2011

You sound like a great candidate for learning NFP through CCL's Sympto-Thermal Method...it's basically the same as TCOYF, but you can learn in an actual classroom setting. You can also ask the teachers for help (I did this) and they have a board of doctors you can send your charts to if things seem off. The book is great too...they just revised it to make the cervical mucus sign more easy to understand.

Seriously...look into it. We love it!

http://www.ccli.org/

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