Following the trend...another RSVP gripe

mzad22 · June 2012

Well 2 really...

One isn't that big of a deal, but I think it is weird. One of my FI's female friends was invited to the wedding and we weren't sure if she was dating anyone so the invite was addressed to her and a guest. Well we got her RSVP back and the guest she is bringing is one of my FI's ex girlfriends. There are not any bad feelings there or anything, but I found it to be a really strange choice....obviously we didn't invite the ex on purpose but whatever.

Number 2 bothers me more. Our RSVP due date was today and we are still waiting to hear from 80 people! I have an extremely hectic job in the summer, and I truly do not have time to contact that many people and find out if they are coming in the next week. Is this normal or are my guests just extaordinarily slow?

Sorry, just had to complain a little bit!

mekiakoo · June 2012

Whoa, 80??? That's just rude. So rude!!!! How hard is it to put a check mark and stuff it in the mailbox? Um... Is the friend a good friend to the ex? I think that is awkward to the point of possibly being rude. Maybe they're dating now though?

mzad22 · June 2012

Ok, that's what I was thinking too about the 80 people not responding but I wasn't sure if I was being uptight. It's driving me nuts!

As far as the two dating, I don't think so because they are both girls (I guess I'm not positive...but I doubt it). They are just good friends. My FI hasn't really talked to his ex for a couple years, and that is one of the reasons we didn't invite her. I'm honestly not that put out by it because technically his friend was allowed to bring a guest, but I do think that it is a really odd choice.

michelle11988 · June 2012

Ummm that's awkward that his ex is going to be there. I think that's a bit over the line but you have her a guest so not much you can do. 80 is a lot for not hearing back about. We got 1 RSVP back today and we still are waiting to hear from 30 couples and families and I won't be happy calling that many next week. If I had to contact 80 I would be beyond pissed.

Nati05 · June 2012

Sorry about the RSVPing. I feel your pain.. I've only gotten 1 back lol. However, I already expected that so it's different. Try your hardest to forget about it for the next few days and maybe you'll get the last few late ones come in and lower your call list!

As for the ex-gf, I would be VERY upset about this. I'm not the jealous type, but a few of FI's exes don't seem to understand it's over. So one of them coming to the wedding would NOT be ok and I'd probably take it as that guest's personal blow against me! Lol sorry.. just the idea got me a little heated. It seems your situation is completely different however and I'm really glad. But I still don't think it makes it okay by any means. That's plain rude!! Why did she do that? Are you friends with this girl? And besides, why did the ex accept?? I would never go to (nor want to) an ex's wedding. Just weird! Sorry this happened ugh! Maybe the ex will come to her senses soon and decline.

mrsmoxie · June 2012

80 people is so rude. And I feel your annoyance, my date has passed and I am still waiting on more than half of my guests. It takes every fiber of my being to not lash out and post on facebook "I'm sorry it is so difficult for you to put a check on this pre addressed and pre stamped card and put it in a mailbox." Of course I won't.

As for the Ex that is weird. But nothing bad, from the sounds of it. From another POV, I wouldn't feel right going to any of my Ex's weddings... even though all those relationships ended on good terms (well, most of them) I just wouldn't want to cause perhaps any drama at their wedding

ajmom2two · June 2012

The whole ex thing is a bit odd. Not just that she invited her but that the ex accepted. Oh well I guess. As for the 80 thing...the monday after our deadline we were waiting to hear from almost 80 guests. We ended up having to call all of them and now we only havent heard back from 3 couples, who I am assuming are not coming since we gave them until last Friday to let us know (we gave a second deadline when we called everyone). I am really sorry you are waiting on so many. Could you FI or a family member handle calling them for you?

mzad22 · June 2012

As far as the ex goes, I knew her but was never close with her. The girl who is bringing her as a guest is a friend of my fi. I'm not the jealous type, so I'll get over it. Thanks for the sympathy with the non responders. Its good to know that I'm not the only one running into this problem. (though I'm sorry for those of you running into it as well). I think I am going to decide the list upand have moms and fi help contact them. I just wish we didn't have to deal with it in the first place. Alright, tantrum over

littlemoments324 · June 2012

wow, that would be really weird...really weird...I would definitely not be comfortable having any ex's at the wedding...odd...

80 is A LOT that didn't rsvp...

syddy88 · June 2012

Our rsvp deadline is Wednesday and we are still waiting on 88 rsvp's which is 207 guests! I have no way of getting a hold of a lot of them other than mail, so it should be interesting. Good luck getting answers! I am dreading the thought of it.

Melissa.hylton · June 2012

I can understand why people dont invite the ex or that. I actually have one of my exs attending. We are really good friends. We have known eachother since HS. I dont have feelings for him. He has no feelings for me. Its understandable how people can hear the word EX and automatically thoughts start forming. But maybe look at how their relationship really is?

honeybear072012 · June 2012

I feel you on the 80 people. Our RSVP date is the 14th and I'm still off by 84 people. That's just a few under 40 invites which is almost half of what we sent out.

The best part is that one of FI's groomsmen when I had FI ask him why he hasn't RSVP'd literally said he has until the 14th so stop bothering him......SERIOUSLY? He knows he's coming so why can't he put a little check on the piece of paper and send it in?

Good luck contacting everyone! PP can any of you pass off some of the guests to FILs or your parents? That's totally what I'm doing. We're taking care of getting our friends to RSVP but invites from our parents are their responsiblity IMO.

The ex thing would bother me a lot! I'm not a jealous person but how is his friend suppose to know that the ex wouldn't cause problems? Maybe she knows the situation but it's just odd to me. Also, I think my biggest problem with this is that I'd never presume to just bring anyone to a wedding if I wasn't in a relationship.

toomanychoices17 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_following-the-trendanother-rsvp-gripe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:0d92b1a8-efd7-4f35-af4e-46d80f29dd39Post:bfed3834-3491-41ee-b547-56849a6f1f8d">Re: Following the trend...another RSVP gripe</a>:
[QUOTE]I can understand why people dont invite the ex or that. I actually have one of my exs attending. We are really good friends. We have known eachother since HS. I dont have feelings for him. He has no feelings for me. Its understandable how people can hear the word EX and automatically thoughts start forming. But maybe look at how their relationship really is?
Posted by Melissa.hylton[/QUOTE]

I have almost exactly the same situation. I'm not "really" good friends with him, but we're friends. FI went to the same HS with me and my Ex and they were friends themselves, so that's why he's fine with it. However, I think it should always be up to the bride and groom which Ex's are allowed and OP's situation is odd- sorry you have to deal with that. Even though you say you're not a jealous person, it's uncomfortable to have someone you purposefully didn't invite, attend your wedding.

Following the trend...another RSVP gripe

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