Does your SO cry?

elannis · August 2011

My other post made me wonder about this. If you say something super sweet to your SO, do they ever cry? Or do they cry when watching sappy movies, go to funerals or weddings, etc?

If they do cry, do you see it as a positive or negative (what do you think about it)?
If they don't ever cry, what do you think about it?

csousa1 · August 2011

Like a baby. Evidently this is not something he used to do, but he sure as hell does it now.

He happy cries and sad cries at movies/shows/etc sometimes. He cried at American Idol once. It is usually just a teary-eyed thing, and not all-out crying, but he definitely mists

His chin quivers EVERY time we argue. Usually when he starts talking about how much he loves me and wants us to resolve X issue. Sometimes tears end up spilling out.

Whenever he has actual tears, he gets a paper towel to wipe his eyes. Never a tissue. I guess it is his way of making it more manly or something.

ETA: I love this about him. I think it is great that he feels safe enough with me to let his real emotions come out. He grew up in a very loving, but pretty rough and tough household. It was his parents and two boys, not a lot of female persuasion going around so there was very little emotion sharing. From stories I have heard, he was an incredibly sweet hearted little boy and was made to have a rough exterior from his upbringing and life experiences. The fact that he trusts me enough to see the sweet little boy again feels like a huge honor. In fact, it was when he told me that he knew his heart was safe with me and that no one had ever made him feel as safe as I did, that I knew I was in love with him.

Swazzle · August 2011

In 4 years I think I've seen BF cry twice: once when we had a really really terrible fight & once when his dog died. I don't really think much of it, some people are just not that emotional I guess. I cry enough for both of us LOL

tuarceatha · August 2011

Nope, BF doesn't cry. I've seen him really upset before, and maybe once on the verge of tears... But I don't think it means anything that he doesn't cry in front of me. Crying is gross. I hate crying, even when I need to. I get a headache and my eyes get all puffy.

My exs cried. When I hurt their feelings. Made me super uncomfortable and judgy.

elannis · August 2011

Haha, csousa that made me laugh. I think it's just because of the picture with a tie around his forehead next to your description of him, lol. At least you always know how he feels and apparently he's a big American Idol fan.

I personally see nothing wrong with a guy crying if he feels strongly about something. I do it, so I'm not going to think it's bad for someone else to.

RDR: My BF is kind of the same way. I've only seen him cry a couple times and it was when we had a huge misunderstanding and when I surprised him with a very elaborate scavenger hunt (nobody has ever taken the time to do anything like that for him before apparently). But I cry enough for the both of us too! : )

[Deleted User] · August 2011

DH does cry, but not a lot. he cried when his mom called to say his grandpa died. he's cried before when we're overcome with emotion. he cried at the wedding rehearsal and at the wedding. it doesn't bother either of us

kellyt89 · August 2011

My SO cries occasionally. In the beginning it made me uncomfortable because I grew up in a house/family where men did NOT cry (I've never seen my dad cry, ever, in 22 years). I really appreciate it now, though, because I think it's the reason he's so understanding and caring - he's very empathetic person and he's not one of those guys who "doesn't get it" when you're upset about something.

CCO2012 · August 2011

YES! Him and his dad are both huge babies! I will cry a bit at movies etc, but BF cries at little stuff with us. He is very cute about it. lol I am positive that when he proposes he will be crying at least as much if not more than me!

lilphillips14 · August 2011

I haven't seen him cry or anything really. He gets kind of emotional, but even when we have to leave each other for long periods of time, he doesn't really cry or anything about it. We'll see what he does this Sunday afternoon when I have to go back home, haha.

[Deleted User] · August 2011

My guy cries sometimes. He hates for me to see, so he tries to hide it from me. I tease him and call him "my mushy man" when he does it...then we usually end up in some sort of tickle battle. It's usually touching scenes with kids in movies or if animals get hurt (he's a HUGE dog lover) that trigger the misty eyes. I don't mind that he cries sometimes. I think the fact that he cares that deeply will make him a wonderful husband and father someday. I've got a good egg!

DanieKA · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6534a6ad-278a-4908-bee6-d551276abc78Post:366378dd-4ee5-4751-af58-dce0f156cff6">Re: Does your SO cry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope,<strong> BF doesn't cry. I've seen him really upset before, and maybe once on the verge of tears...</strong> But I don't think it means anything that he doesn't cry in front of me. Crying is gross. I hate crying, even when I need to. I get a headache and my eyes get all puffy. My exs cried. When I hurt their feelings. Made me super uncomfortable and judgy.
Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This for me, too. I've seen him sad and dejected and probably right there, oh so close on the verge, but never seen a tear. It's okay since I cry enough for the both of us. And part of me thinks there's a lot in his past he has cried about and maybe he's just all cried out. Does that make sense? SO doesn't have any relationship with his father. And he was engaged previously, and was heartbroken over their breakup even though it was good that relationship ended. I'm sure there were tears over some of that stuff (which oddly doesn't bother me-the ex-fiance stuff, not the father stuff). </div>

mnt2bonstg · August 2011

My honey definitely cries. He didn't used to but as soon as we became more comfortable with each other and in our relationship, he started letting the tears flow. For instance, two weeks ago he and I were talking about our "bucket lists," (things we'd like to do before we 'kick the bucket'), and I was talking about all the things I want to do. I looked over to him at one point and all of a sudden I saw tears in his eyes. I asked him why he was upset and he said, "It just breaks my heart that I can't give you all those things right now. I would give you the whole world if I could!" He's such a sweetheart...and a keeper! :-)

cu97tiger · August 2011

FI cries occasionally. He's an emotional person, but it isn't so much movies or tv shows that will get him. He cries whenever we talk about our dogs getting older and how we'll handle it. He cried when his Oma passed away and at her memorial service. I think it's healthy, and guaranteed if he starts crying, I start crying.

PS My dad is a HUGE cryer. Both his girls moved away and whenever he sees us, or his grandkids he cries. Then he cries again when we leave. It's so sad...

lunarsongbird · August 2011

I've dated a lot of criers...guys that cried about everything and anything. So honestly- it's perfectly okay the Andrew hardly cries.

I've seen him cry twice- once at the end of Kenshin and the other during the last Harry Potter movie. However- he's very discreet.

I've only seen my dad cry once- so I'm used to men that don't cry.

Andrew is a very good communicator, so I don't often have to question his feelings or emotions.

elannis · August 2011

Lunar: I think I've seen my dad cry only a few times too. He always cries at funerals, but we haven't been to many (thankfully). Other than that I heard that he cried a lot, like a TON, when I went to college and when I went to Spain for 4 months, and when I had my first car accident.

I don't have a problem either way if guys cry or not, as long as they communicate somehow.

snorwo3 · August 2011

Mine absolutely cries, but it's over sad things. No movies or anything either. He cries when we get in big arguments. Which is hard for me because I don't get emotional over sad things (only happy things) so I find myself not as sympathetic when he tears up over a fight instead of rationally resolving it with me.

thelamarrs · August 2011

He's cried once when he was going through something really tough with school and I gave him a gift bag with the newest video game he wanted, all of his favorite candies and a long letter about how I was very proud of him, etc.

And then when we have serious talks about our relationship. For example if I'm upset about something and while we're talking about it, he'll get upset and cry.

But out of the four years we've been together all together I've seen him cry less than 5 times.

jemmini6 · August 2011

I've never seen FI cry and we've been together for almost 3 years now. He's only seen me cry once and that was because I was angry and frustrated (not with him, and it was just tears welling, not actual sobbing crying). Neither of us are really criers, but I'd definitely be more likely to than him. I don't think it's that we hide our emotions, but we haven't had any major things happen to cry about.

I've also only seen my dad cry 3 times and they were all related to deaths, my grandma (his MIL), my uncle (his BIL), and my grandpa (his dad). I've only seen my mom cry a handful more times than that. So I guess it's a family thing, we just don't really cry that much.

I guess that should have been a major red flag to me with my ex...he made me cry all the time even though I'm not usually a crier. I guess he was just really good at pushing my buttons...good thing that relationship was short lived.

SKP82 · August 2011

I have seen FI cry a few times. Once when we found out one of his best friends was killed in Iraq. A couple of other times when talking about other guys he knew who were killed. And once when I was leaving Germany and he was going to Iraq for 15 months. ETA: He did let a few tears fall when proposing, too.

And another time when watching this ESPN special. The kid here has Progeria and is a patient of his sister's. The whole family has gotten extremely close to him. You can watch, but it WILL make you cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCSzysu_flY

loves2shop4shoes · August 2011

FI cries rarely, but I've seen him do it. I've seen him cry at funerals, once when he said he wished his dad could see him graduate college (his dad is deceased), when he proposed, and once when I said, "I always pictured my wedding, but now I can see the face at the end of the aisle."

MirandaVanZ · August 2011

My BF cries sometimes, but I alway thought guys should be able to cry. My day cries at church, movies, weddings, funerals, pretty much everything so thats what I expect.

I actually endded a past relaionship because the guy never cried (we were together for a year and a half) It weirded me out to be with someone who had no emotion and made me feel like he didn't care about me enough to show emotion.

elannis · August 2011

SKP82: Oh my gosh, you weren't kidding about that story making you cry! That's so sad and it's so amazing that he has that attitude.

Jeter1028 · August 2011

It's a rare occasion. DH cried during our wedding (although he says "The sun was in my eyes!" Hah) and I can remember him crying when we talked about his mother being sick. I think there was one other time when we got into an arguement that he cried ALOT. But no, he doesn't cry at movies or anything like that. And lately, I've been doing enough crying for the both of us to last a lifetime (good ol hormones!) LOL

And no, I don't see it as a negative whatsoever.

SKP82 · August 2011

Elannis - he is really an inspiration. It is so sad what he goes through, but to him, he is just a normal kid because he doesn't know anything else. It really is heartbreaking that such a horrible disease exists (and there's no cure).

desertsun · August 2011

Aw, I like this thread. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that y'all have guys who aren't afraid to be vulnerable with you.

My H teared up a little during our wedding vows.

lavenderfields13 · August 2011

I've known BF for over 5 years now and I've NEVER seen him even close to crying. I thought that he would when his Gram died or at her funeral but he didn't. I know not everyone shows their emotions the same way but it was weird to me that he didn't. After that I'm pretty sure he won't cry at our wedding. This makes me a little sad actually.

zipis1 · August 2011

I've seen him cry a few times, though the most I've ever seen him cry was when Bumbledog died.

I love that he cries. I mean, I'm glad that he doesn't cry at every little thing because that would get annoying (for men and women I find it annoying). But I'm glad he isn't the type to suppress his feelings.

desertsun · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6534a6ad-278a-4908-bee6-d551276abc78Post:4308b5be-0889-4939-9db5-686209243261">Re: Does your SO cry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've seen him cry a few times, though the most I've ever seen him cry was when Bumbledog died. I love that he cries.<strong> I mean, I'm glad that he doesn't cry at every little thing because that would get annoying (for men and women I find it annoying). But I'm glad he isn't the type to suppress his feelings.</strong>
Posted by zipis1[/QUOTE]

Yes, exactly this.

ashful90 · August 2011

BF never, ever cries. At least, I've never seen him cry. Honestly, it's nice that he can stay strong for me and for himself but for some reason, I've always thought it was the "okay with being vulnerable with me" thing that makes me want to see him cry just once during our relationship. He was close at his first best friend's funeral last year but then he sort of went into himself and I was the one who cried. I didn't even know the guy, either... It was just a very sad day.

Does your SO cry?

Re: Does your SO cry?

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