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my 3rd, his 2nd Pre-martital counceling..hmmm

kitkat2003kitkat2003 member
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in Second Weddings

My fiance' and i both have small children. his son is ten, my daughter is seven. we have both done this marriage thing before, and really want our final Wedding, This to be it. We are getting  married on Christmas this year. I just moved to the Chicago-land area and he is from here. we are looking into Pre-Marital counceling, niether of us did it with  our ex's. And decided it would be a great  idea. I am wondering if anyone can suggest someone in Chicago that is good. Please help Ladies..Embarassed

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Re: my 3rd, his 2nd Pre-martital counceling..hmmm

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You might want to check your local board.  This one is an international one.
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm in Chicago but don't know about pre-marital counseling.  I did it through the Catholic church back when I married for the first time - Pre-Cana (sp) classes.

    I suppose any good marriage counselor would be able to take you guys through the pre-marital and blending families issues.
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Have you chosen your officiant?  He/She can probably guide you through this process, or find a family/marriage counselor.
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I went through pre-maritial counseling the first time, and I thought it was a total waste of time.  My suggestion would be to buy several books, such as 1001 things to ask BEFORE you get married, and those that people bought from amazon when they bought that one (if you haven't used amazon before, which is unlikely, but if you haven't, when you put a book in your shopping cart, other suggestions appear when you go back to browse more titles). 

    No matter how anyone thinks they know what will happen in a marriage, no one can predict one another's behavior.  So, it's best to just ask about how they feel about things now, and those books will help.  How many children, how to spend money, how to spend vacations, how often is too often for In-Laws to visit, etc.  Those are the things that you need to know, and those are the things that will be covered in those books. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • missy68missy68
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Polichick on the Etiquette board may be able to give you the names of people in the area.
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    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
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  • Krysta812Krysta812 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hello!  This is my first time posting on this site :)
    I would recommend that you visit the website psychologytoday.com.  On the site, there is a search option to find a licensed clinician in your area.  You will be able to see each therapist's picture and read a blurb about their experience and practice.  I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the Bay Area and I receive several referrals a month from this site.  I think it would be valuable to attend a few sessions of premarital counseling to work on communication, identify what didn't work in your first marriages and also make sure you are not repeating old damaging patterns and are clear on your expectations of marriage.  Good luck!
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