Sticky Situation with Wedding Planner

classy_little_chic · July 2010

Here is my situation-

My co-worker's daughter-in-law is a wedding planner and had offered to talk with me about her services when I got engaged. My mom and I discussed and decided to hire her. She was really wonderful in the beginning, but as time went on I began to get a little nervous. She would not return calls, but only text. E-mails would go unanswered until she had something to ask me. We were supposed to sign our catering contract in January (our wedding is August 2010) and the date kept getting pushed back. The first time it was due to weather and the other times it was because it was not convenient for her schedule. Please know that both my fiance and I work full-time and he attends graduate school also full time. This person does wedding planning part-time and this is her source of income. Our contract did not get signed until the beginning of June.

The other issue that has come up is regarding flowers. We have decided to have fake flowers in our wedding and she was going to do them for us. We discussed getting together at the end of April to go shopping for the stems. Unfortunately one her grandparents died and we were unable. I was sympathetic and not concerned about the flowers; our wedding was still three months or so away. We kept trying to set a date and it felt like every date I suggested she could not do. It finally came down to her asking me to take a vacation day so I could accomodate her schedule. I was very frustrated by this and explained why I could not (I am leaving my job and all unused vacation time is paid out to me). Our compromise was that we would give her the funds budgeted for the stems and she would go buy them. This was in the beginning of June.

I contacted her at the end of June to see how our budget was and also to see if she needed my opinion on anything because I was getting ready to go on vacation. It turns out she had not done anything yet, but was planning to when she went to visit her parents in a few weeks. Again, I thought "OK, we still have some time". Unfortunately she experienced some health problems and needed to have surgery. She is currently at home recovering, but is unable to travel.

My sticky situation is how to address the needs of my wedding, but still be sympathetic and understanding of her health situation? I do not want to be insensitive, but my wedding is also four weeks away and none of my flowers have been started. I'm concerned that she is understandably focused on her current situation and will not consider the fact that she may not be up to finishing her undertakings.

Please help me be sensitive and understanding, while getting my wedding to-do list finished.

*Barbie* · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sticky-situation-wedding-planner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f4c5e925-19de-4d09-8d10-2e2535719b52Post:8355d5b0-44ac-4f7a-92d9-273fdecef244">Sticky Situation with Wedding Planner</a>:
[QUOTE]Here is my situation- My co-worker's daughter-in-law is a wedding planner and had offered to talk with me about her services when I got engaged. My mom and I discussed and decided to hire her. She was really wonderful in the beginning, but as time went on I began to get a little nervous. She would not return calls, but only text. E-mails would go unanswered until she had something to ask me. We were supposed to sign our catering contract in January (our wedding is August 2010) and the date kept getting pushed back. The first time it was due to weather and the other times it was because it was not convenient for her schedule. Please know that both my fiance and I work full-time and he attends graduate school also full time. This person does wedding planning part-time and this is her source of income. Our contract did not get signed until the beginning of June. The other issue that has come up is regarding flowers. We have decided to have fake flowers in our wedding and she was going to do them for us. We discussed getting together at the end of April to go shopping for the stems. Unfortunately one her grandparents died and we were unable. I was sympathetic and not concerned about the flowers; our wedding was still three months or so away. We kept trying to set a date and it felt like every date I suggested she could not do. It finally came down to her asking me to take a vacation day so I could accomodate her schedule. I was very frustrated by this and explained why I could not (I am leaving my job and all unused vacation time is paid out to me). Our compromise was that we would give her the funds budgeted for the stems and she would go buy them. This was in the beginning of June. I contacted her at the end of June to see how our budget was and also to see if she needed my opinion on anything because I was getting ready to go on vacation. It turns out she had not done anything yet, but was planning to when she went to visit her parents in a few weeks. Again, I thought "OK, we still have some time". Unfortunately she experienced some health problems and needed to have surgery. She is currently at home recovering, but is unable to travel. My sticky situation is how to address the needs of my wedding, but still be sympathetic and understanding of her health situation? I do not want to be insensitive, but my wedding is also four weeks away and none of my flowers have been started. I'm concerned that she is understandably focused on her current situation and will not consider the fact that she may not be up to finishing her undertakings. Please help me be sensitive and understanding, while getting my wedding to-do list finished.
Posted by classy_little_chic[/QUOTE]

<div>1) do you have a contract with this "wedding planner"?</div><div>2) if so, what is she obligated to do per the contract? </div><div>3) have you paid/do you plan to pay this woman for the "services"?</div><div>4) why can't you do this stuff yourself?</div><div>5) what exactly do you need a wedding planner for?</div><div>
</div><div>I'm not getting the whole "being understanding" thing. you hired a relative of a co-worker who does not have her sh*t together. if she is acting as a paid vendor for you, and is not living up to the contract, then fire her, and dock her pay for anything she has not completed to date. If I hire someone who is not performing to reasonable standards, i will discuss the situation with them, and if not seeing improvement, will fire them and move on.</div><div>
</div><div>you need to just suck it up and accept that she's not going to do want you want her to and just live with it, or you need to take action, fire her, and either DIY or find someone new. </div><div>
</div>

tpender13 · July 2010

I can see for you why it may make sense to have a wedding planner, but it appears at this point that you should fire this girl. Get a new wedding planner if you need one.

kimmieniesink · July 2010

I would just go it alone, thank her for her help so far (if she actually did anything) wish her improved health, and alleviate your stress!

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