introduction and etsy question

cearleyjay · December 2010

hi...my name is jaime. my H and i are planning a wedding for the families. we got married august 7th this year (just a private little beach thing for just the two of us, long story), and we are planning on having our family wedding for august 7th next year (2011).
im new to this board and i will probably be asking a lot of questions and they may seem dumb to you, but please cut me some slack? please? i have been to 3 wedding in my entire life and i have no clue how to plan one at all.
so my first question is.......

has anyone bought their dress on etsy.com? if so what was your experience?
TIA

[Deleted User] · December 2010

Welcome!

First off, let me just say that what you and your H are planning to do is not usually well received on these boards. If you are already married, you will be doing a vow renewal, not another wedding. Most of the ladies around here frown upon vow renewals unless they are at say the 5 yr mark and you really didn't have a wedding. But it sounds like it was your choice to get married in a private ceremony, so therefore it is rude and looks very gift grabby to have a second wedding and reception. You already had your day.

That being said, you could still do the vow renewal thing, but I am not sure wearing a wedding dress is appropriate. Simply throw a party to celebrate your marriage. No dress, favors, other wedding related stuff.

Edit: I have never bought anything on etsy, but I know a lot of ladies who have bought stuff for their wedding and have been really happy.

Good luck

Heathc123 · December 2010

I really dont see the big deal in having a wedding reception for your families. I say go for it and wear whatever dress you want.

Ive bought several things from etsy but no dress. I have heard to have your measurements taken professionally before you order so that they can get the fit right.

kellya01 · December 2010

I bought a garter set on etsy and had a good experience. I don't do well with buying any clothes online, so I couldn't imagine trusting the most important dress I'll ever wear to an internet store. That being said... if you find success in purchasing dresses online, feel free to try it. Do realize that some shops say "all sales are final" and "returns will not be allowed" or some other language in their terms of sale, so it's definitely a case of buyer-beware.

You're having a vow renewal, BTW. My aunt and uncle had a vow renewal at their 25th anniversary and she didn't wear a wedding dress. I don't see why a vow renewal at the 1 year mark warrants a big wedding dress, but maybe you could just wear a white dress that is a little more simple if you want to make it more about "this is a celebration of our wedding and we are inviting ALL of you this time."

Good luck... and if you get flamed for the "second wedding" concept... poster beware. I read so many posts on that and usually don't respond because the other PP''s are great at covering all of the bases why NOT to call it a wedding.

courtney1188 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_introduction-etsy-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:85de790e-2f8b-4a9c-bfb9-30ff73bc0957Post:a698667e-a193-45a4-b320-91a681bbf7e3">introduction and etsy question</a>:
[QUOTE]hi...my name is jaime. my H and i are planning a wedding for the families. we got married august 7th this year (just a private little beach thing for just the two of us, long story), and we are planning on having our family wedding for august 7th next year (2011). im new to this board and i will probably be asking a lot of questions and they may seem dumb to you, but please cut me some slack? please? i have been to 3 wedding in my entire life and i have no clue how to plan one at all. so my first question is....... has anyone bought their dress on etsy.com? if so what was your experience? TIA
Posted by cearleyjay[/QUOTE]

You only get one wedding. Well, unless you get divorced and married again.

If you're mature enough to get married then you should also be mature enough to make adult decisions. You had a decision to make - have a small private wedding sooner, or wait longer and have a big traditional wedding. You already made your choice because you are already married! You already had your wedding, it was when you said I do!

beckpaz · December 2010

Wow, some of these women on here are rude. I wouldn't listen to them if I were you. Yes you had your wedding ceremony, but if you want to call your event a reception and not a "vow renewal," then screw them- do what you want how you want. If somebody is offended by what you are doing, nobody is forcing them to go or bring you anything. And nobody is forcing the women on this website to read your posts; If they have an issue with something, look elsewhere. I'm just saying my piece as they said theirs. Every bride/woman is different.

As for your question, Etsy is a fantastic website, but, like somebody else mentioned, I would be cautious as to buying such an important dress online. I know I sometimes love something by looking at it on the rack or on a picture, but after I try it on, it's TERRIBLE, or the other way around! Plus, nothing can compare to actually trying on dresses!!!! Whatever you choose to do, best of luck!

FutureMrsCoombs · December 2010

I agree with Beckpaz. There are tons of reasons to have a small court ceremony first and a big celebration with all your friends and family when you have the time/can afford to or a myraid of other reasons a couple would have to wait.

That being said, I think buying a dress on Etsy could be tricky unless they have a great return policy.

Good luck with your celebration and I hope you come back for more advice- not everyone is on here to "flame" you for your choice!

jagore08 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_introduction-etsy-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:85de790e-2f8b-4a9c-bfb9-30ff73bc0957Post:9f47e755-f28c-4b9c-ad3e-dc7d93ff6b3f">Re: introduction and etsy question</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, some of these women on here are rude. I wouldn't listen to them if I were you. Yes you had your wedding ceremony, but if you want to call your event a reception and not a "vow renewal," then screw them- do what you want how you want.
Posted by beckpaz[/QUOTE]
Just to clarify, OP didn't say she was having a reception, she said she was having a "family wedding".

cearleyjay · December 2010

in the original post i said it was a long story, but since some of you dont seem to understand i will explain.....

my huband and i are both in the navy. he was awaiting orders sending him to live in VA on a ship for 2 years. im in FL with our son and my daughter. his detailer told us that if we got married as soon as he got back from deployment he would help him get orders here in FL. we planned on getting married anyways, so i wanted to have something little and memorable just in case i didnt get the chance to have my BIG day. we got married 3 days after he got back from deployment. needless to say it didnt work and he is in VA right now gearing up for another deployment as we speak. now i am alone with 2 kids for 2 years. the navy wont let me transfer until my orders are done where i am now.
i want my dad to walk me down the isle. i want my mom to see me in a wedding gown! i dont want the presants, and i dont want the money. that isnt what this is about.

so for those of you that said i cant do this because its hasnt been 5 years and its a vow renewal, screw you! i said in my OP it was a long story and you should have taken that as there are reasons for this! some people in this world dont have lives that are puppy dogs and rainbows.
for everyone else thank you for your support. its really nice to see that some people understand what i am going through.

jagore08 · December 2010

OP, calm down. I completely understand the military and reasons for getting married quick. No one was saying that you can't do what you want but it really is a vow renewal as you have already had you wedding (it's just want it is, I didn't make the etiquette rules). If you don't like it, that's fine but don't say "screw you" to people on this board trying to help you. I said nothing to warrant that attitude. I am trying to help and I was answering your original question.

ETA: A vow renewal can be just like a wedding (ceremony and reception with all the frills) but it's for people that are already married. That's the only difference.

Now, can you please answer my questions about the dress? I may be able to point you in a good direction if you tell me what you're looking for.

Also look on the North Florida board if you need any vendor recommendations. The board isn't very active but I think the sticky post on the top is still there where there are a ton of vendor reviews. I was married in Gainesville at Sweetwater Branch Inn so I know a few of the vendors in your area.

cearleyjay · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_introduction-etsy-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:85de790e-2f8b-4a9c-bfb9-30ff73bc0957Post:3c02bce0-3943-4385-a97c-ee6952645f00">Re: introduction and etsy question</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, calm down. I completely understand the military and reasons for getting married quick. No one was saying that you can't do what you want but it really is a vow renewal as you have already had you wedding (it's just want it is, I didn't make the etiquette rules). If you don't like it, that's fine but don't say "screw you" to people on this board trying to help you. I said nothing to warrant that attitude. I am trying to help and I was answering your original question. ETA: A vow renewal can be just like a wedding (ceremony and reception with all the frills) but it's for people that are already married. That's the only difference. Now, can you please answer my questions about the dress? I may be able to point you in a good direction if you tell me what you're looking for. Also look on the North Florida board if you need any vendor recommendations. The board isn't very active but I think the sticky post on the top is still there where there are a ton of vendor reviews. I was married in Gainesville at Sweetwater Branch Inn so I know a few of the vendors in your area.
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

that was not directed towards you. i appriciate your help.

i was looking at traditional. i wore black to the beach thing. i dint want to wear white and destroy the (IMO) 'big day". i know it sounds funny, but thats what i wanted. i wanted to purchase online because i found something really pretty and it is less costly. i purchased many things on etsy and i just fear buying a dress from someone that has no feedback.

we are having the wedding in IL. where most of my family is. we already have the flowers and the photographer paid for. i just need evrything else! this is so stressful!

jagore08 · December 2010

Well, I purchased my dress from Jay's Bridal (located in Gainesville) but I purchased online because it was a bit cheaper. When you sign up with them they'll send you emails (a lot of emails) about getting free things with your purchase. I got a free veil with my dress purchase. Also look at Pearl's Place, Netbride, and RK Bridal. They are frequently recommended on the boards from other brides. And don't discount David's Bridal. They have some really pretty dresses and often have their $99 sale (and if the dress isn't $99, it's on sale for usually $50 or more off).

I sent you a private message. Check it by clicking "Private Messages" in the blue column on the left.

jemmini6 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_introduction-etsy-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:85de790e-2f8b-4a9c-bfb9-30ff73bc0957Post:9f47e755-f28c-4b9c-ad3e-dc7d93ff6b3f">Re: introduction and etsy question</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, some of these women on here are rude. I wouldn't listen to them if I were you. Yes you had your wedding ceremony, but if you want to call your event a reception and not a "vow renewal," then screw them- do what you want how you want. If somebody is offended by what you are doing, nobody is forcing them to go or bring you anything. And nobody is forcing the women on this website to read your posts; If they have an issue with something, look elsewhere. I'm just saying my piece as they said theirs. Every bride/woman is different. As for your question, Etsy is a fantastic website, but, like somebody else mentioned, I would be cautious as to buying such an important dress online. I know I sometimes love something by looking at it on the rack or on a picture, but after I try it on, it's TERRIBLE, or the other way around! Plus, nothing can compare to actually trying on dresses!!!! Whatever you choose to do, best of luck!
Posted by beckpaz[/QUOTE]

Please point out the "rude" comments, because I sure didn't see any (with the exception of the OP saying "screw you" to people offering advice...klassy BTW)

OP- I understand their are plenty of reasons to get married quickly,and therefore forgoing the traditional wedding, military is a big one, so I doubt anyone will criticize your decision to do so. The only thing that people pointed out is that having a day for your family is not technically a 'wedding' since you are already married. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing a 'vow renewal' though, some people just have differing <em>opinions</em> on what that should entail. Some people prefer it to be at a milestone in your marriage and don't warrant a dress, etc, but they are just opinions. You can take them or leave them, but to tell people to "screw you" is a very immature way of dealing with hearing something you don't like.

Now to answer your actual question...I would not recommend buying a dress that you can't try on in person. Etsy can be great for the accessory type stuff, but I'd be wary about making such an important purchase site unseen. If you are concerned about cost, I would suggest trying to look for bridal consignment stores in your area. They can be a great savings and you know that the gown you purchase is exactly what you are looking for. Additionally, David's Bridal has some great bugdet dresses, so I'd try there too. You could also try dresses on at regular bridal shops and try to find them on some pre-owned wedding sites (preownedweddingdresses.com and oncewed.com are some I've heard on here before).

If you continue posting on here (which I hope you do, there is tons of great advice here), you just have to keep in mind that some opinions need to be taken with a grain of salt.

Good luck with finding a dress!

dezinediva · January 2011

Hi OP
I just wanted to give my two cents. Maybe it will sound self serving but I am also an etsy bridal seller and I have purchased many items online, through etsy or otherwise. Most of the bridal gowns purchased on etsy are going to be ready to wear as opposed to buying one in the store and waiting for them to make it to your size. WHile mine are made to order and can be custom sized, I do advise if a person can't measure themselves correctly, to give me basic measurements to let me know what size range they should be. SInce gowns purchased in the bridal salon still require alterations, there is no difference. Someone like me is just starting out, I have a studio but in order for people to see stuff in person they must come to me. The big designers mass produce many gowns and ship them all over (because they can afford the capital to produce pieces without demand), which is why it's easy for you to go to them, try on the gown and then make your order. I actually tried getting my gowns in local shops, but the problem was again the capital issue. I would need to make these gowns (with the expensive fabrics needed to make them) and leave them in the shops for brides to try on and hopefully buy. I find that to be very difficult at this time in my life, but maybe one day soon? As a designer, I stand by my product and from what I hear many of the etsy sellers do. It's a way to unite the custom design world without you actually having to fly out to CT when you live in CA. So I would say, really think about your purchase, decide if you really really love the dress what you should do. Most sellers will work with you, they understand how important this day is and won't stick you with a dress you can't wear or hate.

I am also doing a vow renewal for my 5th anniversary. My husband and I were broke but it love and got married at NYC city hall in 2006, but I always regretted not having a wedding (especially being a bridal designer). As far as gifts and what not goes, no one ever ASKS for them in the first place at your first or subsequent weddings. I am not doing any sort of registry, even though like most people who didnt have a wedding, I didnt recieve any gifts. I am sure you are in no way doing this for the gifts anyway, so if you want to call it a wedding, go ahead. Every lady needs a day to look and feel spectacular. Please, have yours.

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