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Not inviting some people??

meea0520meea0520
First Comment
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
SO My fiance and I are having a small dinner reception of only 50 people, and it is strictly 50 people. Would I be an asshole if I told my friends and his friends that they couldn't bring a date?? mind you, our friends are usually dating someone different everytime we see them or they are dating the same person, but we hardly ever see them and barely know them. With that said we prefer no dates to ensure we can invite more family and friends, without their "date" taking up our capacity. Its not like they will be coming to our wedding feeling awkward bc they all know eachother. When we send out invites we can send out a small explanation so there won't be  hurt feelings? thoughts?
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Re: Not inviting some people??

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    SammanthaMaeSammanthaMae
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just put who you are inviting on the invitation, and don't add the "and guest". Only the people addressed on the invite are invited.

    I had to tell my MOH she couldn't bring a date unless they'd been dating exclusively for 4 months (habitual dater).
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    PoliceWife104PoliceWife104
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP - Just address it to the individual & there should be no issues... Unless they add a guest.  Then you'll have to explain the situation. 

    One thing you could do is on the RSVP card (if you're having one), fill in the amount of seats that have been reserved for the guest.  So it would say...

              seat(s) have been reserved in your honor.

    Then you would just fill in the number that guest gets, when you send out invites.

    GL!  = )
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    jessy_grossjessy_gross
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's your wedding, you can limit the guest list however you want!  I would totally understand not being able to bring a date to a small reception.
    241 Invited image 117 Attending image 104 Declined image 20 Don't know what RSVP meansimage
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    colstj1colstj1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_not-inviting-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:805bf856-dca8-426b-a940-a0f10809b6eaPost:571f907a-2f20-42f0-a553-df4e24ac2cd4">Re: Not inviting some people??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto PP - Just address it to the individual & there should be no issues... Unless they add a guest.  Then you'll have to explain the situation.  One thing you could do is on the RSVP card (if you're having one), fill in the amount of seats that have been reserved for the guest.  <strong>
    So it would say...

    ________seat(s) have been reserved in your honor. </strong>

    Then you would just fill in the number that guest gets, when you send out invites. GL!  = )
    Posted by MikeNAndi[/QUOTE]


    To be safe I would word your RSVP card this way. :)
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    Sarahsue1684Sarahsue1684 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You will have people add a guest no matter if you put just one person's name on it or not. We had a ton literally add "and guest or guests". We had to nicley explain why and people were pretty good about it. Some didnt care and brought there and guest(s) anyway. It all worked out in the end because we had about 9 no shows.
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    SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_not-inviting-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:805bf856-dca8-426b-a940-a0f10809b6eaPost:571f907a-2f20-42f0-a553-df4e24ac2cd4">Re: Not inviting some people??</a>:
    [QUOTE] One thing you could do is on the RSVP card (if you're having one), fill in the amount of seats that have been reserved for the guest.  So it would say...            seat(s) have been reserved in your honor. Then you would just fill in the number that guest gets, when you send out invites.
    Posted by MikeNAndi[/QUOTE]
    This is how I'm wording my RSVP cards. It drives the point home that whoever is listed on the outer envelope is who's invited. If someone tries to add a guest, then it'd be appropriate to politely explain the situation.
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    tpender13tpender13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_not-inviting-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:805bf856-dca8-426b-a940-a0f10809b6eaPost:571f907a-2f20-42f0-a553-df4e24ac2cd4">Re: Not inviting some people??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto PP - Just address it to the individual & there should be no issues... Unless they add a guest.  Then you'll have to explain the situation.  One thing you could do is on the RSVP card (if you're having one), fill in the amount of seats that have been reserved for the guest.  So it would say...            seat(s) have been reserved in your honor. Then you would just fill in the number that guest gets, when you send out invites. GL!  = )
    Posted by MikeNAndi[/QUOTE]

    Even better than this would be to personalize your RSVP cards, so they would say...

    Jane Smith __ will attend __ will not attend

    OR

    Jane Smith __ chicken __ beef __ will not attend

    It will take a little bit more work, but since you're having such a small wedding it won't be that bad.
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    graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_not-inviting-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:805bf856-dca8-426b-a940-a0f10809b6eaPost:86d5d1a4-f1ba-49cc-8027-5b554aa75063">Re: Not inviting some people??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not inviting some people?? : Even better than this would be to personalize your RSVP cards, so they would say... Jane Smith __ will attend __ will not attend OR Jane Smith __ chicken __ beef __ will not attend It will take a little bit more work, but since you're having such a small wedding it won't be that bad.
    Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

    I like this idea. It will be very clear to your guests and you will probably have less of those hard conversations.
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    meea0520meea0520
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks so much everyone for your suggestions, and to MikeNAndi, obviously your idea was a hit.  I don't feel so bad now bc I have asked people what they thought and they thought it would be rude. So I will request no guest, just personal friends and family. Screw'em, it's my wedding!
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