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Groom seeing the wedding dress?

HaleyFoutzHaleyFoutz
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in Military Brides
Okay... So we're engaged!!! but now comes the hard part. Planning... We've been doing most of it together but this upcoming deployment is putting a damper on things. So come December I'm gonna be doing alot of it solo. I've come to terms with it. But here's my dilemma... I want him to go with me when i try on dresses for the first time. Keep in mind, we're not very traditional. I want to see how he reacts to the different styles, colors and such. Plus it gives us another thing to bond over for the wedding.  :)  But I'm worried that it wont have the same WOW factor or mean as much if he sees me in a wedding dress (even if its not the same one) before the wedding. What do ya think?
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Re: Groom seeing the wedding dress?

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    iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    First, I'm going to suggest you get rid of this account and start a new screen name.  There are way too many creepers out there for you to have your full name all over the net.  There have been several women on these message boards who have had crazy people either stalk them or ruin their weddings.
    Second, I wouldn't do it.  If he knows what to expect ahead of time, there won't be as much of a wow factor when he first sees you walking down the aisle. 
    Y'all can pick out invitations, favors, reception halls, dj's, plan the menu, go taste cake. 
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    RaybopRaybop
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    edited December 2011
    Here's what i would suggest, let him look at styles with you in magazines, let him give you input on what he would like to see you in,but don't take him with you. Think of it this way, everyday he's away from you he will be able to fantasize and think about what you MIGHT be wearing, so that when you do see him on the other end of the isle he will be totally floored, you will exceed any and all expectation. If he see's it, he might over think it, start to add things onto it in his memory and might be disappointed (unlikely, but if he is smack em!). 
    In the end its up to you, Its your big day... do what you know will make it the most memorable
    Good luck, and all the best 
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    kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats! I know how it's like too planning the wedding solo. FI's on deployment. It's definitely got its ups and downs! Here's my take on your dress question. Personally I wouldn't want him there when I try it on, it might now be as special and more of a WOW factor when you come walking down the aisle. As PP suggested you can always look at styles with him and see his input, and but don't let him see you in the dress. And there are a ton of things you guys can share and plan together. There's invites, food, cake, etc. But ultimately this is all up to you, and I saw an episode of Say Yes to the Dress and the guy actually went with the girl to pick out her dress! So you can totally do that if you really want to. Afterall, it might still look different at the wedding day with how you'll do your hair & make up, and your accessories of course. Good Luck and Happy Planning! :)
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    SheilaESheilaE
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    edited December 2011
    Have you asked him if he wants to see the dress?  My Dh didn't want to see it til the wedding day.
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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    My FI is so against seeing the dress that he also does not want to see the veil, headpiece, shoes, bra, or slip. 

    Like Sheila said he might not want to go.  Not just that he doesn't want to see the dress but I know a lot of guys who would consider sitting through wedding dress (or any kid of clothes) shopping to be torture. 
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    Victoria2013Victoria2013 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have done something similar to PP.  I wanted an idea of what he would like to see me in so I just started showing him all these random photos of dresses that I thought would be interesting.  He has pointed out and told me things that he would prefer (ie "shiny fabric" and not much bead work).  And that has worked for us.  But no matter what you decide to do good luck and have fun with your planning!!!  Congrats!
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    claireungaclaireunga member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you guys aren't very traditional, and you think it's not going to bother you, I'd say go for it! Maybe bring him along to one appointment so you two can decide what sillhouettes and details you like, but don't bring him along after that so he doesn't see "THE" dress.

    Personally, I don't think that will ruin the magic. There's a big difference between seeing someone in a wedding dress in a bridal shop and at their wedding; context changes everthing. Just remember: the most important thing is that you and your fiancee are on the same page about what you decide to do.
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    micheleq1702micheleq1702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FH has seen THE dress...on a hanger in pics. He doesn't want to see it even on me in pics. It was a joint decision on my dress, i found one it was super expensive, found one similiar at Davids Bridal, and wasn't happy with it, found THE dress on craigslist and after talking about it I bought it. We aren't very traditional either, and are doing the courthouse while he's home on leave in December and while I offered to wear my wedding gown, he opted for me not to (just wants me in a short ivory dress), he wants the surprise factor in June for our big wedding. FH is very into fashion and how clothes look and stuff and I was very impressed that he picked out the sillhouette and details on my gown before I did. :D I'm a VERY lucky girl!

    Just ask him if he wants to be involved. Some do, some don't! :) happy planning!!!
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    Luke&Sam625Luke&Sam625
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI is in Japan, so I've done all the planning by myself.. of course, FI could care lesss.  Anyway. I've offered to show FI my dress 200 times at least!!! He doesn't wanna see it. We're not going as far as to not see each other on the big day, but thats also because we've only physically been together for 10 days in the last 9 months! Have him look at dresses with you, get an idea of what he likes, and what he likes on you. My FI is particularly fond of my top half, so the dress I got makes the twins look pretty amazing if I do say so myself. But its also got to be about comfort! it's going to be one long party so make sure that you're not sewn into your dress and its comfy to sit or dance or whatever in! Good Luck!!
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    apham126apham126 member
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    edited December 2011
    I asked my fiance about this topic and he jokingly (but kinda serious) said, "I highly doubt that the first thing that crosses his mind when he sees you walking down the aisle is... 'Shouldn't have gone with the spaghetti straps'..." I'm not a traditional bride either and I don't believe that seeing the dress will be bad luck. But at the same time, the golden rule is still remains, and I agree, that wedding dress shopping and fiance should not be in the same sentence. Good luck!
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