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September 2012 Weddings


I have a couple questions about speeches...

1 - Who generally gives speeches?
2 - Do you contact people ahead of time to see if they want to give a speech? How do you plan for this sort of thing?
3 - How much time have you allotted for speeches?

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Re: Speeches?

  • Neither FI or I are big fans of speeches. We have been to ENOUGH weddings where you have to sit through an hour + of people giving speeches. We both agreed we wanted no part of that at our wedding. The only speeches that will be happening that night will be a speech by the Best Man and a speech by the MOH - that's it! Both FI and I will go around to each table during the dinner to personally thank them all for coming. As for our father's, they will give a speech at the rehearsal dinner, if they want to. We are not asking them to.
  • 1. For my FSIL's wedding, the siblings and the bride and groom gave speeches (all siblings were in the wedding party). FBIL had BM and MOH speeches. For a friend's wedding, they had dads, MOH, and BM speeches. I think we might have wedding party, and maybe my dad (FFIL didn't give a speech at FSIL's wedding, not sure if it's because he didn't want to)

    2. Fi gave a speech at both his siblings' weddings. He was given a few months' advance to work on it. Let them know about how long you'd like the speech to run (30 seconds, 5 minutes, etc)

    3. We haven't started planning our timeline at all yet. Oops :)
  • We are having a later supper (around 7:30) so I don't want to kill people off with speeches lol. I too have been to weddings where the speeches went on forever... not fun. We only have one attendant each, so that's easy, but I wasn't sure if parents say anything or how that goes.

    We aren't doing our own vows at the ceremony (another awesome rule ;P) so I'd like to say a few words before the cake cutting. I would rather say our thank yous in person so nothing too lengthy from us in that regard either.
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  • It was really cute when FSIL and her husband thanked the guests for attending. They actually calculated how many miles combined the guests had to travel to come to the wedding and it was pretty impressive.

    For my friend's wedding, her dad went on and on with a story that seemingly had no point. In the end, it was cute, but he could've made it about 10 minutes shorter.
  • I think we are just doing MOH and BM.  Any wedding I've ever been to has always been them and sometimes the father of the bride so I didn't even know others sometimes do speeches.  I don't think my Dad would enjoy doing a speech though so we aren't going to make him,
  • Traditionally, only the best man gave a speech. Now a days, I've seen MOH, Dads, priests, etc give speeches. I think any of these are fine, but I would definitely keep speeches to a minimun! 
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  • For my wedding it will be Best Man, Maid of Honor and probably my dad. If anyone else asks to then we we will see.
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  • There is going to be one short sweet to the point speech done at the reception, between me and FH. We are not big fans of speeches either and since we don't have the traditional wedding party, it cuts it down for us doing barely a 5 minute speech. We both are hoping his father or mine doesn't want to give a speech.
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  • The Maids of Honor (I have 2) are doing one speech together for me, then the Best Man is doing one for FI. The priest will say a quick blessing before dinner, then we give a brief thanks to everyone for coming, we eat, then kick off the night!!! :)  Keeping it simple so we can get down to partying!
  • We're cutting out speeches entirely, but giving ourselves a seat at each table so we can try to say a personal thank the guests for coming.  Our BM gave a speech at our engagement party, it was funny and everyone seemed to enjoy it, but in my experience, most people aren't as skilled at public speaking as he is.
  • If they want to the BM and MOH will if not its NBD. But they were the only 2 we were going to have give a speech. Parents etc can give one at the rehearsal dinner if they feel so inclined.
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  • MADDOX85MADDOX85 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    MOH and BM will be the only ones doing speeches. I will take a moment to thank our parents publicly (especially since the wedding and reception are at my parents house) but my dad wouldnt give a speech if i paid him a million dollars. lol hes just not the public speaking type. :)
  • I hadn't really thought about this. I don't even know if the MOH or BM would want to give speeches. I'll probably just ask them if they wanted to (not ask them to specifically do one) ahead of time to be prepared. We're all so close that they wouldn't care if they were asked. Now, I'm a little worried about the RD toasts with the parents. More specifically FFIL. lol I imagine he'll get drunk, probably say something about how if he were younger he'd be marrying me, women nagging, ect etc. Oh yeah... I've been mentally preparing lol He really means it all ina  good way, but it comes out so bad. hahaha!
  • our speeches have a combined total of 5 minutes. i'm pretty sure my MOH and the BM will talk for all of 30 seconds each. but my dad wanted to give a speech too and he can ramble forever. we told him his limit was 2 minutes, but we put some buffer in there incase.

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  • We really haven't dicussed this too much, but we did agree on just MOH and BM doing speeches and making sure it was a closed mic. We attended my cousins wedding where there was an open mic after the MOH and BM did their speeches and it turned in to a HUGE, embarrassing disaster for a few people. 
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  • edited April 2012
    thanks for all the input ladies!

    FI texted his bro (the best man) to see if he planned on doing a speech and he just "Don't worry - it will be short" LOL 
    I think we will keep it to just the MOH/BM and prob my father; he's a good speaker so I'm not worried about it.

    We might do a "speak now or forever hold your peace" option just befor the cake cutting for guests who want to say something but it will be limited and we will literally have a timer haha - just a fun sorta thing.
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  • 1. I think it all comes down to a matter of preference. I have seen weddings where parents hosted but only the Best Man made the speech. Actually come to think of it, all the weddings I been to only the Best Man spoke.
    2. Of-course we contact them.
    3. I think 5 to 10 Minutes alloted for speeches.
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